Just My Way
A HariPo oneshot
Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not to me. Done for a quote prompt. This pairing is a Mew and Mor's Weird Pairing, which you may find in the M&MWP forum (see my profile for details). Check out and join the forum FUN! Read, review, and enjoy!
"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." —Robert A. Heinlein
Robert Frost once said that, given a choice of two roads, he'd take the one less traveled. I have come to my fork in the road. At first, I thought that I'd have my fine little life. It was all laid out for me:
Marry Dominique Weasley, the love of my life. Buy a beautiful house not too far from my own, childhood home. Have at least one or two kids with Dom. Heh, they would both be blond… Maybe one would have my baby blues and the other would have Dom's deep, amber–hazel eyes…
My plans were derailed when the possibility of him reared its ugly head.
I ended up taking the most treacherous path. I can't believe it, even looking back now. But I did. Few had gone the path before.
But, Merlin, it led me on the most amazing adventure.
Things began in seventh year. Hogwarts was almost a closed chapter on my life. Things were really looking up for me, too. Hagrid was dead-set on me being his successor for the Care for Magical Creatures class. My friends and I would be adults in the Wizarding world.
I, Lysander Scamander, and my twin brother, Lorcan, had already turned seventeen long before our last Hogwarts summer came around. But by the time that summer arrived in May, so many things were changing with us that it was hard to keep track of it all.
"You're dating Roxanne?" I asked Lorc as he and I hung out outside during the weekend.
Lorcan smiled like a hyena—i.e., dangerously. "Ooh, once she grabbed me and snogged me, there was no turning back." He paused. "Well, I have to admit, I was a little worried about Freddie wanting to kill me, but he seems fine with it." He sipped at his pumpkin juice.
"Yeah, well, he's her twin brother. Just make sure you never accidentally grope him instead of her," I stated, laughing when my brother blushed and glared at me.
"Oh, there you two are." The owner of this third and new voice tramped over to us on the green and plopped down between us. It was Scorpius Malfoy, a fellow seventh year and a friend. He was in Slytherin, sure, but he'd always been a nice bloke. Actually, Lorcan probably would've made a good Slytherin…but his smartarse attitude fit just as perfectly in Ravenclaw. I was fine with humble little Hufflepuff.
"What's wrong with you?" Lorc asked as Scorpius popped the top of a can of our fizzy pumpkin juice.
Scorpius glanced at him. "You don't happen to have any of that firewhiskey on you?" he inquired with a furrowed brow.
Lorcan, despite my protests and reasoning since he was a Prefect, grinned and quickly splashed some into Scor's drink. The Malfoy son drank right up. "Bad day, my dear Head Boy?"
"The worst." Scorpius sighed and stretched out his legs. "I broke up with Rose."
Both my twin and I gaped at him. "You broke up with Rose?!" I exclaimed.
He nodded. "I've had it. She's only ever…PMS'ing." He frowned and stared at the can. "I just… I don't think I ever want to deal with another girl for the rest of my life. I mean, do you two remember when I dated Lily a little bit before getting together with Rose?"
Lorcan whistled, and I offered half a smile. Yes, Lily Luna Potter hadn't been the right match for Scorpius at all. And she'd told him. Very loudly, I should add. Very nearly in the middle of the Great Hall
"But Rose… Rose is so much worse. Merlin, I felt like a battered husband."
Lorcan rudely burst out laughing at Scorpius' comment, and I glared at my brother. I turned to Scorpius. "What, did she actually whale on you?"
"Not physically, but must she?" His gray eyes looked so much older than his seventeen years. "You both know her. She can be a brute, but she chooses words over actions. I can't recall a day that went by without a verbal beating from her."
My twin and I exchanged a look. Lorcan got his attention. "Mate… It's good you got out of there, then. You shouldn't let anyone treat you like that. Not even Rosie. Sheesh, am I ever glad I dropped my crush on her ages ago!"
I quirked an eyebrow. "If 'ages' means 'one and a half years ago.'"
Lorcan stuck out his tongue at me. "Don't you have Dominique to go snog?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes, standing up and brushing grass off my trousers. "You know what? I think I'll go study for the Transfiguration exam on Monday." As I walked away, I heard my brother exclaim about his forgetfulness about the test. Of course. Some things would never change.
Others… Others would.
"Aw, poor Scorpius," Dominique stated when we rested in the Hufflepuff common room Monday night. It was late and we should've been heading in to bed, but I hadn't spent much time with her lately. I felt I owed it to her to give her some of my time. She was my girlfriend, after all.
I nodded. "I'm…kinda and kinda not surprised at Rose's behavior."
Dominique shrugged, her blonde hair falling behind her shoulders as we sat on the couch. "Rose is Rose. It's hard to rein her in, and I doubt Aunt Hermione felt like doing that all the time. I doubt Uncle Ron even tried. So we now have Hell in the tangible form of Rose."
"But that's who Rose is." Dom yawned and leaned towards me, kissing my cheek. "Goodnight, Lysander. I'll see you in the morning."
I nodded and watched her head up to the girls' dorms. Me? I remained downstairs and spent nearly half an hour staring at the dying embers in the hearth.
My mind was in a dark place. All I could think about was the fragility of human relationships. I mean, what if we weren't meant to be with someone at such a young age? What if it was better to delay love until we were older, wiser, more experienced?
There was one minor contradiction, that experience came from taking risks, but—for some reason—my conscience dismissed it.
I sat back on the mustard yellow couch and gazed at the ceiling. Look at all the evidence I had before me: Scorpius had failed twice, once with Lily and once now with Rose. Lorcan had failed miserably with Lucy, yet another Weasley girl. Albus was too paranoid for his own good, but that was understandable; James had been through so many relationships in all his twenty-one years that his younger brother had become too cautious without having ever dated a witch. James…well, James often hit and missed, though his most recent relationship with a Ministry of Magic worker seemed to be going pretty well from what Lily said of the witch.
Me? Well, I'd only ever dated Dominique. She and I had clicked instantly, and I thought it was amazing and so fortunate for me to find my soulmate so early on.
However, now I wondered. Were she and I really soulmates? How would I ever know if I never went out with another girl?
Was I just Dom's boyfriend for the sake of being her boyfriend?
That thought stuck with me. When I went to sleep that night, I knew something had changed, and not just because my dream consisted of spending a day with one of my closest friends, Scorpius.
My dream-self was looking at love in a wholly different light.
My dark and dreary thoughts festered inside me for the rest of May. I never let on to anyone—to not Dom or to Lorc—what ran constantly through my brain. Mainly it was because I was too worried they'd worry too much about me.
However, whenever I met Lorcan's eyes, I knew he sensed some kind of change in me.
Guiltily I would look away.
Dominique… Dom didn't see anything wrong, though. She kept on going on as if everything were perfect. I guess that hurt more than anything else. If she was supposed to be my soulmate, then shouldn't she realize the conflict inside me?
Guiltily I would wish she'd take off the rose-colored glasses and actually see me.
Our other friends were too busy to pay me much attention. Luckily Rose steered clear of Lorcan and me as Scorpius hung out with us more and more. I didn't want to be on the receiving end of her tirade. Roxanne sometimes joined us, and she was a breath of fresh air; she didn't really think like a girl. She was much more acclimated to hanging out with the boys, which made it less awkward for all of us.
Guiltily I would wish Lorcan didn't have her so he could wallow in my dark ponderings with me.
Actually, when Lorcan was off with Roxie, Scorpius spent much of his free time with me. He could make me laugh and forget about the realities of life—and still we managed to finish our tough Charms homework.
Guiltily I would swipe an extra glance at him and plead silently for him to speak with me about what really ran through my brain.
I think it was then when things first began to form between us, but I wouldn't recognize it until later.
Not until later when things were smashed to bits.
When Dominique left me, it was a horrible moment. Mainly because I had hurt her. But not because I wished for our romantic relationship to continue.
"You hang out with Scor too much," she told me at some point halfway through June. She flicked her ponytail over her shoulder as we walked downstairs to the dungeons for Potions.
I gave her an amused look. "What do you want me to do? He's finally free of his girlfriend and he needs a mate."
"Yes, I get that, but you're his friend, not his girlfriend," she retorted.
I sighed. Yes, Dominique could be like this. She took this cue sometimes from her older sister, Victoire. Victoire had a habit of overblowing things…and Dom apparently had picked that up at some point in her life.
She stopped in front of me and glanced up coyly, a motion she could pull off well despite being not much shorter than me. Dom even batted her eyelashes, something that I usually found cute. "Why don't we plan a little date? Just the two of us. What do you say?" She batted her eyelashes again…
…I backed away. Something inside me told me finally to stop. It told me that there was a reason I had been spending less and less time with her. It told me that there was a reason I was becoming more immune to her ways.
I was sick of her, and I hadn't even realized it.
When I did realize this, my mouth popped open slightly and I gaped at nothing in particular. This was not the reaction for which she'd hoped, and she took it the wrong way.
"Well, I can see where your mind is going," she said slowly.
No, you don't.
"Maybe we could plan those things."
No, we couldn't. And shouldn't.
Dominique tried to look seductive. …Merlin, I wonder when I'd become so resistant to that? "I'll find something…comfy to wear."
Oh, hell. My eyes widened when I acknowledged that I'd voiced my thoughts. I…couldn't believe that had just happened. I was always so careful to think before I spoke. I couldn't believe I had let this happen.
Her face fell. "What?" she repeated, hissing and drawing her brow down into a glare. Oh, Merlin, I had never seen such fury in her eyes.
I closed my mouth and floundered to explain. "Well, you see… What I meant was—"
"No, no, no. It was clear what you meant." Her eyes glistened as she held up a hand to shut me up. "I thought you'd been wandering further and further from me."
"Shut it!" Oh, gods, she wouldn't even meet my eyes! "You… You've grown distant, and I don't know why! I—I've given my all to you, but…"
But I couldn't give her my all. I kept my mouth shut, my revelation tearing chunks out of me. I…didn't love her.
Oh, bugger—had I ever?
See now what I meant about being too young to understand what a relationship demanded and meant?
"I…I'm sorry," I rasped, dropping my gaze to the floor. My fist tightened on the strap of the rucksack slung over my shoulder as the guilt settled in for a long stay. "I'm sorry, Dominique."
"Please, spare me." She said it, but there wasn't any heat in her voice—there never would be, because that wasn't her. However, she didn't look at me. Instead, she returned the way we'd come, no doubt going to the lavatory to cry.
And I was the one who'd made her cry.
Hell, I wanted to cry.
Almost a full fifteen minutes after she left did I finally pick up my head. I didn't know if I should go to class or hide in the dormitory or what. My mind had kind of turned to mush at the thought of my being a heartbreaker.
At that point, footsteps interrupted my thoughts. I turned and found Scorpius walking up the staircase. "What's wrong?" he asked, immediately frowning.
Ah, I must've still had the hippogriff-in-the-lamplights look on my face, so I quickly mustered a smile. "Oh, it's nothing. I'm just…feeling a bit of indigestion is all. I think I'm going head to my room and rest a bit."
"But Potions is going on right now," he stated, pointing behind him.
"Oh, er, yeah… Well, I can explain to Professor Slughorn later." I tensed when Scorpius joined me on my step and looked me up and down. I really hoped he wouldn't press me.
"You know, you don't look too good, Sander. I'll walk you back to your dormitory. And not as a Head Boy, but as your mate."
"Mate… Er, yeah." We walked back to the Hufflepuff common room, he blocked his ears as I gave the badger portrait the password, and Scor followed me inside. "You didn't have to join me," I told him over my shoulder. "Shouldn't you be getting back to Potions so I have notes to get later? There's no way I'm going to rely on Lorcan's. He finishes his classwork and then snoozes for the rest of the time."
Scorpius laughed a throaty laugh. "Aw, Lor isn't that bad. …okay, yeah, he is. He's the reason I got kicked out of Potions today."
I turned around fully after shedding my outer robe, and I put my pack on the nearby armchair. "What happened?" I asked.
He moved his shoulders as if he meant to shrug. "Oh, Roxanne gave him a new Wheeze from her father to try. Lorcan thought it'd be funny to test it out during class. Slughorn thought I was the culprit and therefore banished me from class today." He grinned. "On the bright side, I can play hooky with you."
I twisted my pursed lips around, half frowning, half smiling. I know, that made no sense, but I think we've all experienced that at some point or another. I ruffled my hair and took off my tie and then faced him. "I'm not playing hooky," I corrected. "I'm not feeling too well, remember?"
"Sure you're not," he stated with a kind smile. But I got the feeling that he didn't believe me one bit.
Oh… His eyes forced it out of me, damn it. See the effect he has? He can get me to laugh, he can get me to take my mind off things, but he can also get me to speak. "I…had an altercation with Dominique."
He stared at me. "Oh. I'm sorry, mate. Witches can be real…witches."
"We broke up."
Scorpius did a double-take. "You're jesting. … You're not?!" He collapsed on the same couch Dom and I had occupied as a couple not that long ago.
I sat beside him and watched the fire. "I…never loved her. It just took me a long time to realize it. I like her, but it's not love. She broke when she saw me realize that. It'd actually been running through her mind a lot recently," I added with a dark laugh.
He fixed his stern gaze on me. "Sander, that's not funny at all."
"…no, it's not." I released a slow and easy sigh. "She says I spend too much time with you, funnily enough."
He chuckled softly. "Maybe she's been spending too much time with Rose." We shared a grin at that, but his eyes showed true concern. "I'm here for you, Lysander. Dom… Dom might change her mind and take back what she—"
I shook my head. "She won't. Dominique never takes back what she says. Honestly, that's okay. If she can find someone better, then good for her."
"There isn't anyone better."
"Thanks." I reclined on the couch and fell asleep to the sound of crackling flames and Scorpius' awful tries at cheering me up. When I dreamed, it was of another day spent with Scorpius.
Ha, if only he were a girl.
Exams were a mixture of ease and difficulty. I passed all my N.E.W.T.s, of course. Lorcan passed with flying colors. Scor did as well as me…meaning we both came up behind Lorcan. Sheesh, for all he was a smartarse, Lorcan was bloody intelligent. Ravenclaws. Ugh.
I barely remember the graduation ceremony. All I could think about was celebrating with Lorc, Mum, Dad, and Granddad Xeno.
What I wasn't expecting was Scorpius to join us.
He fell into place with our family right after the ceremony. He and Lorcan joined Mum, Dad, Granddad Xeno, and me. He really looked as though he could use a family then.
"Parents," Scor offered by way of an answer. "They're arguing again, and now Granddad Lucius and Grandma Cissy are going at it." He rolled his eyes. "I'm used to it by now, but I don't want to deal with them right now. I mean, come on! We've just graduated! Some, the top of the class," he added with a look towards Lorcan, and Lorcan laughed, "but it's an otherwise happy occasion for all." Scorpius looked to our parents. "Might I join you?"
Mum and Dad glanced at each other before Mum smiled. "Why not? Are you going to join us for dinner, too, Scorpius? Or just dessert?"
He was confused as we made our way out of the crowd. I chuckled as Scor asked, "Uhh, doesn't dinner come first?"
"Not necessarily," I told him.
Scorpius paused, and I hung back with him. "Well, then. Dessert first, it is," he stated with a smile.
I raised an eyebrow. Okay… Whatever that meant.
At Florean Fortescue's, we really enjoyed ourselves. Mum and Dad caught up with Florean, who reveled in their adventure stories since he never went on any himself. That, and Florean adored Mum since she was a close friend of Harry Potter's and a main hero of the Battle of Hogwarts.
Lorc, Scor, and I snagged a table by ourselves and ordered our ice-cream. We joked around, remembering some of our best ups and downs throughout our seven years in Hogwarts. It was hard to believe that it was all over now.
"…and I bid you adieu now," Lorcan said, standing and leaving money for his share. "I promised to see Roxie right after. I'll prolly be back for dinner, but you can start without me."
Scorpius frowned. "Might I…stay past dinner?"
Lorcan beat me to answering. "Oh, go right ahead and stay over, Scor. There's no need for you to put up with those dragons on what's supposed to be your day…and night." He waved us off as he darted back out onto Diagon Alley.
The Slytherin faced me. "Well, I guess that settles that."
"You might want to rethink that," I replied, pushing my ice-cream around with my spoon and mixing the crackling sprinkles with the whipped topping. "Our house…leans this way and that, remember?"
"Eh, kinda. I've only ever hung out with you guys a few times outside of school, and I've never come over." Scorpius paused. "Um, what do you mean by 'leans'?"
I laughed. "My family's crazy, remember? A crazy house for a crazy family."
"Yeah… I've been wondering, Sander…" He finished his cone and wiped his fingers on his napkin, careful not to get anything on his sleeves; he was definitely an image-conscious Malfoy. Then he locked eyes with me. "You're not crazy like the rest. Lorcan, yes. You, no. Why is that?"
I thought about his question. "I dunno. Maybe I'm weird in some undiscovered way."
He smiled. "But weird can be good."
Oh, how I wished I'd known what he'd been thinking then.
Scorpius coming to visit and stay over happened a lot that first summer out of school. According to him, it was only a matter of time before Draco or Astoria asked the other for a divorce. I felt horribly for him, but he told me that he'd seen it coming ever since he was a child. He also added that everything would be fine as long as he had his best friends: Al, Lorc, and me.
That didn't do much to disperse my worries. I wanted to see him in a better mood. He was fine when he was hanging out with us, but he couldn't be with us all the time.
I tried thinking up ways of getting Scorpius to really feel better again, but nothing would come to mind. Ideas weren't my department; Lorcan was always the one to think up ingenious things. I… I…
I was Lysander the Hufflepuff. Great. That would haunt me for the rest of my life, wouldn't it?
At least my friendship strengthened with Scorpius. That was probably the best thing for him, to have friends when he couldn't have a family. Although Mum and Dad seemed perfectly fine with taking on another son whenever the case called for it.
So, yeah, my friendship with Scor was really strong. It couldn't be broken by anything, I'd like to think. But I was a Hufflepuff, not a Ravenclaw. I could easily be proven wrong.
At the beginning of fall—September—Scorpius stayed an entire weekend with us. Mum and Dad had left on one of their extravaganza trips, and Granddad Xeno was busy with The Quibbler, but the adults trusted us with the house.
That meant they trusted me to make sure Lorcan didn't go nuts and throw any parties.
I did a good job of keeping my brother in line. The house survived that weekend, thank Merlin. But that was more Roxanne's influence than mine. She and Freddie were going to be turning seventeen soon, and she kept hinting to Lorcan about possible birthday gifts. I hinted to my brother about gifts myself, since our own birthday was coming up in November, but I didn't think he was listening. He was too caught up in the Weasley twin girl's pewter eyes.
…oh, Merlin, how I remember being caught up in someone's eyes.
That left Scorpius and me with the house. I was the first one up one morning towards the end of Scorpius' stay, so I went downstairs and started breakfast. The smells woke Scor up, and he came downstairs yawning. That was a sight to make you smile, you know. He was completely "Scorpius," without a hint of "Malfoy" as he yawned and squinted like any other person exposed to the bright morning light.
"That smells wonderful," he commented groggily. He paused and gaped at the spread. "Merlin, Sander! How the hell did you manage to make this much so fast? Was I really asleep that long?" he added, glancing at his watch.
I shook my head. "No. I had the Nargles help me."
"Don't ask; you wouldn't believe me, even if I explained."
He half smiled. "Er, I could try—for you. But…maybe not, sorry, mate."
We ate, and I cleaned up with his help. After, I went back up to my room to straighten out my books. He followed behind.
"So are you really going to train with Hagrid? And become the new Care for Magical Creatures professor?"
"I was thinking about it." I kicked a drawer closed and surveyed my bedroom. I laughed. "When I go to live on the grounds while learning, you can have my room here. Mum and Dad won't mind."
His cheeks flushed. "Yeah, well, Luna and Rolf have been really good to me. I wouldn't want to impose on them." Scorpius was weirdly quiet. "Hey, you want to play Quidditch?"
"You know I'm horrible," I said as we headed outside anyway. I knew he'd changed the subject, but I wasn't going to press him as to why. He'd tell me eventually; I knew that.
That was how you easily waste a whole day on Quidditch, folks. Somehow, I managed to score a few thirty points over Scor. …yeah, I think he gave them to me, too, ha.
When nighttime fell and I got ready for bed, I organized my books again and again.
"Do you realize how often you do that?" Scorpius asked, scaring the Wrackspurt out of me.
I glanced at him and then went back to work as he came in. "Well… Before I train with Hagrid, I was thinking of joining my parents on a few expeditions. You know, get some hands-on experience with weird and wonderful beasts."
The look he gave me as he sat down beside me… He did not look happy. "So you're going to be gone before you're gone?" Scor whined.
"Eh, you'll have my books to keep you company."
"I'm not moving in here, Sander."
"Funny, I thought you had," I said with my version of an impish, Lorcan smirk.
Scorpius frowned, though. My stomach flip-flopped. I hadn't meant to discard the seriousness of the subject. "Lysander…"
"Sorry, sorry," I said quickly. I shoved my books out of the way. "There, look. See? No talk of the nasty me-going-away-before-I-must. At least, not right now. But…I am kind of planning it, Scor."
"Yeah… I'll be waiting for you, you know that, right?"
I nodded and smiled, happy that he was happy again. "'Course. That's what mates are for."
He stood and shoved me playfully before leaving for the guestroom. "Yeah, yeah… 'Night, Sander."
It was torture going with Mum and Dad to Croatia.
I had no idea about half of what they spoke of and I had half the motivation they did to expand further on it. Croatia was beautiful, sure. The people were nice, and the language was sweet and lyrical. The creatures my parents found were amazing and sure to make Great-Granddad Newt jump for joy, as he would surely be writing about them in his next bestiary.
I was miserable.
I didn't even know why. Well, one thing was that we came close to missing Lorc's and my eighteenth birthday. We did stop by Granddad Xeno's to celebrate, but Lorcan had turned up by himself. I thought it strange, since he should've brought Scorpius with him. Apparently Scor had returned home.
Oh. Okay. Well, he was allowed to do that. Scorpius could do anything nowadays. Hmmm, that made me wonder what he was going to pursue as a career…
Anyway, our birthday was strictly a family affair that year. Then Mum, Dad, and I returned to our journey of Eastern Europe. I learned a lot about new creatures and about old species. I felt as though I could really bring something to Hagrid's class and maybe even something to a conversation with the kind half-giant. He'd be delighted to receive firsthand knowledge of dangerous animals he'd never get his hands on…I hoped.
Christmas was a damp holiday spent somewhere near Moscow. Yeah, I had no idea how we'd ended up there, either. But I slept through most of our stay there.
I was beginning to get really bored of these expeditions.
That was only one effect, though. My mood also grew increasingly dark, kind of like when I'd originally taken a step back to reevaluate love.
And Scorpius wasn't here to make things better.
By the time we reached Romania and visited Charlie Weasley and his dragons on the Dragon Plains, I was fairly homesick. I saw the dragons and watched them with envy. I wanted to sprout wings myself and return home.
We made the rest of the journey through Europe with similar ease and lack of injuries. Actually, that was rather funny. For once, neither Mum nor Dad had hurt themselves out in the wild. Lorcan would be happy to hear this; they were the reason he was studying to be a Field-Healer, so he could travel with them and care for them whenever something went wrong.
By the time we finally made it back home to England, it was May. Sigh. I'd spent more than half a year travelling. Merlin, I was so glad and thankful to be home.
Lorcan was home to greet us before ditching for a date with Roxanne. He congratulated me, though, for keeping our parents alive. That was something funny.
Something not funny? Lorcan hadn't heard from Scorpius in a while.
"He's been around, sure," Lorcan told me when we spoke off to the side one night after at the end of May. "But he hasn't been around."
"What does that mean?" I asked exasperatedly.
"I've seen him in passing in Diagon Alley and I thought I saw him a time or two with Lucius—ickk—at the Ministry, but he barely acknowledged me. I think there's a lot on his mind."
"You've got that right," I said without thinking. "He's got a lot on his mind."
Lorcan looked at me as if I were Fluffy's mother. "And how do you know that? You haven't seen him at all."
I blushed, wishing I hadn't voiced my thoughts. "I just do." Well, I felt as if I did. But I wished I knew how I knew that, too.
Apparently, June was doomed to be Dominique Month in my life.
Halfway through that month, I was shopping in Diagon Alley on my own. I had to visit Eeylops for owl supplies and Magical Menagerie for other creature treats and items. I'd start working under Hagrid the coming school year, and I wanted to be ready months in advance.
At the same time, Dominique just happened to be visiting Victoire, who apparently was apprenticed to Madam Malkin and was very good as a seamstress witch.
Dominique just happened to be at the window as I passed by.
Dominique just happened to exit the store then.
"Hello, Lysander," she said curtly, just happening to stand in my way so I'd have to interact with her.
"Hi, Dominique." I hesitated. "How are you?"
"Oh, fine." She fidgeted with a stray thread on her sweater. "How are you doing?"
"Fine, fine… I'm going to start my internship with Hagrid in a few months."
"Oh, yeah. We'd talked about you doing that before." Those words hurt me, and I'm pretty sure she knew it. "Well, I've got to go. I'm helping out Uncle George work on a few new Wonder Witch products, and I hope to help him improve his love potions and Daydream Charms."
"It sounds as though you're doing well."
"Yep…" She trailed off. "I would've been doing better, but what's a single girl to do?" She sadly smiled and left me there, wishing I weren't such an idiot.
In my head, as I entered Eeylops, I heard what Scorpius had told me almost… Oh, Merlin, it was a year ago. But his words stuck with me, regardless.
"There isn't anyone better."
Nice of him to say about me, but where was my "anyone"?
At that moment, I saw through the window a pale face and blond hair trudge into Florean's across the street. My heart jumped into my throat as my mood both rose and sank at once. I knew it had to be him.
Inside the ice-cream parlor, I found Scorpius off to the corner. He was finishing his cone when I reached him. "Scorpius," I breathed.
Scor looked up. Recognition dawned on his face as he saw pale blue eyes and not cerulean—an important distinction, as Lorc's eyes were a little darker than mine. He hopped up and embraced me tightly, squeezing the air out of my lungs.
I patted him on the back until he released me, and we sat. "Yeah, it's good to see you, too, mate."
Scorpius heaved a large sigh. "Sander, it's been…hellish without you."
I furrowed my brow. "Scor, what the ruddy hell's happened? Lorcan said he'd barely seen you."
"I'm…training. To be an Auror."
Despite the other customers in the shop, it was deathly quiet. He… He came from a family of Death Eaters… His family had been nothing but trouble until Astoria, who had a spotless reputation, had married Draco. Scorpius was the first male Malfoy without a blemish on his life's story.
He nodded. "I know, I know… It's been trouble, believe me. No one wants to trust the son of a liar and the grandson of a former chief Death Eater."
I frowned. "Scor… Are you sure you want to pursue this?"
"Most certainly. I've wanted to do something with my life all along. Al is training with me, too."
"Oh." Of course. He and his best mate were studying to get the same job. I felt slightly deflated, but that couldn't be helped. Yes, I was close to Scorpius, but I wasn't his best mate. That was Al, not me. But… I smiled nevertheless. "Scor, if that's what you want to do, then I'll help in any way I can. Maybe I can loose some Nargles on your family if they pester you anymore?"
"How'd you know…? Never mind," he said with a wicked grin. "You always did seem to know me better than myself."
"Better than Al?" I joked.
Oh. Not the answer I'd thought I'd get. "So…," I started, pulling a Scorpius and changing the subject. "When do you have free time?"
He winked. "This weekend. You, Lorc, and I need to hang out. There's far too much to share."
I nodded. "All right. I'll see you then."
Scorpius stared off into space for a sec. "Yeah… I'll see you, Sander."
Mum and Dad left that weekend to spend an adults-only weekend with their friends—Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and the lot. I told Lorcan that Scorpius was coming over, and he said he'd stay for half of Saturday.
"It's a big weekend for Rox and me," he said. "Rox and I…"
"Oh, Merlin, I don't need to hear the details of that part of your life, brother."
Lorcan grinned. "Why not? It's fun to share those thoughts."
I grimaced. "Please no."
He laughed. The git.
Scorpius and Lorcan came home together from London in time for lunch. We ate and sat around talking about what had gone on the past several months.
"Oh, please don't ask any more about Turkey," I stated as they cracked up. "When you confuse two words of that language, it's most certainly a recipe for disaster."
Lorcan snorted. "You think that's bad? I've had to clean up some of the worst diarrhea—"
"AWW!" Scor and I groaned, laughing.
"Hey, hey, hey! When it's magical, it tries to be permanent and penetrating!" Lorcan snorted again as I'm sure I turned green. "Haha, look at the new Slytherin!"
Scorpius laughed along with him. "Oh, Sander wouldn't have lasted a day in my House." He looked at me. "You would've been gobbled up."
I stopped laughing as color flooded my cheeks. Whoa.
Lorcan glanced at the clock and cursed. "Ah, hell. I'm on the nightshift tonight so I can have tomorrow with Roxie." He got up and clapped Scorpius on the back. "Good to know I don't have to post bail at Azkaban, mate." He looked to me. "Good to know you didn't let your mind frolic with Mum's and Dad's, brother." Lorcan saluted us and left the room. "Goodnight, sleep tight, and don't let the Nargles bite."
I chuckled as Scor and I cleaned up. "Okay," Scorpius said, "one day you have to explain the Nargle thing to me."
"Old family joke…maybe."
Merlin, I was tired by the time the house was put in order…okay, so it was a Lovegood–Scamander house. Nothing was ever in order. But you know what I meant.
Upstairs, I found my books had been rearranged. One was even missing. "Argh, I'm going to kill Lorcan…"
"Looking for this?"
I turned around and saw Scorpius standing in the doorway with the absent tome. I raised an eyebrow. "May I please have my property back?"
"I asked nicely, Scor."
"And I said 'no,' Sander." He glared at me. "I know if I return this that you'll leave again."
I gave him a look. "Well, yeah, I'll have to, but I'll return eventually. Come on. Don't be upset with me. I hate it when you're upset with me."
His eyes smoldered. "It bugs you, doesn't it?"
"Yes, it does."
"It bugs you when I'm down, doesn't it?"
"It bugs me to see you bothered," he stated with a sigh, giving up.
"Well, thanks," I said as he strode over to give me my book back, "but it'll blow over if you just stop—"
I froze. Well, it wasn't as though I had much of a choice. I couldn't speak. Scor was snogging me and quite feverishly, I might add. As if I wasn't boggled enough, my whole body reacted when he pulled me closer to him. Oh—Oh, Merlin… If this was heaven, then I never… Mmf…
I couldn't believe that just happened. I mean, it was Scorpius, my mate and fellow man in heartbreak. I was me, Lysander, the Hufflepuff everyone kind of liked and yet overlooked.
"Weird is good," he whispered, repeating against my lips the words he'd said to me over a year ago.
I couldn't even mumble, so I nodded. His face was so near mine… My mind was fuzzing… Stupid Wrackspurts…
"I…don't want you to go." Scor's gray eyes bore into my pale blue ones. "Do you understand now? I didn't want you to go last summer, either."
"I…don't want you to be unhappy," I rasped, surprised I could find my voice. I kicked myself for being such an idiot. Of course his happiness being the only thing that mattered to me meant that. It was so bloody obvious.
It was obvious that was why Lorcan had been in Ravenclaw and I had been in Hufflepuff.
Scorpius' eyes darted around the familiar room. "Then don't let me be unhappy," he said, his eyes finding mine again. He snogged me again. "Understand?"
"We were the only ones who could ever fully understand the other…"
He nodded. "Al is my friend. But your opinion and contentment matter the most to me, Sander." Scorpius snogged me some more as our shirts found their way to the floor. "You matter the most to me, Sander."
Needless to say, we shut the door. But Scor had it right, and you mean the same to me, Scor. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Oh, and of course, dessert first.
Quite fluffy, but nice and smexy at the end. Oooh, gawd! I want Scorpius! Lysander's so damn lucky! X333 There's so much potential! And I think I handled them well… Ooh, Merlin! *blush* This Scorpius was sooo delicious, I don't know if I like him better with Lysander or Lorcan! The whole "Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the Nargles bite" bit is something my sis and I shared, and I don't think anyone else uses it, sooo…claim! XD Give a little mention if you use it! :D Ah, and I should mention: This title comes from a song of the same name by YUI. Give it a listen. c:
Thanks for reading, and please review!
Thanks as always to Morghen for beta'ing! X)
2017 note: D'awww, I rly still like this old fic of mine. XD It needed some decent revision, but the story's still the same, and I forgot this had been in first person. But I'm glad it was; letting Lysander tell the story worked out well here, and I can see how my headcanons for him took shape here 7 yrs ago, with how passive and rather soft-spoken I made him. I've had various ideas for the Malfoy family over the yrs, but I'm glad I've only written them as dysfunctional as they were here just a few times. Scorpius… He's a good boy. He and Lysander deserve each other. -w- (I also went on to write so many Scorander fics after this… *lol*)