His tears were the most frightening thing the boy had ever witnessed. They fell from those all too familiar, nightmarish and violet eyes. They were empty and crazed, speaking of so many feelings- fear, hatred, jealousy, sadness- wrapped around one thick film of pain. They were endless, a torrent of water that slid down his cheeks, and soaked the scarf around his neck. They were full of emotion, the emotions that were once repressed by his heart's cold barrier, but now- finally set free.
The tears were the only things Russia didn't have to lie about.
The only thing Raivis couldn't escape.
Even running, running down the dark hallway, trying to get as far away from the man as possible, he thought about them. He saw them in his mind, imagined them falling down Russia's face and all over the floor. Raivis could picture the man right behind him, blood making the ground so slippery that he might even slip himself, the pipe clattering away from those murdering hands. And if that happened, he would turn around and grab the bloodstained tool…and end that pitiful life.
End those pitiful tears.
30 minutes ago, he had arrived home from grocery shopping to find Lithuania on the ground, trapped against the wall and struggling to remain upright. Russia was squatting in front of him, running the edge of the faucet pipe along his cheek, drawing pocketfuls of blood and gore. Lithuania had been screaming incoherent words, eyes rolling to the back of his head, the largest pool surrounding him and Russia's body. Raivis stood there, shock and horror freezing his body, the grocery bag tumbling out of his grip. He knew, like he knew that today was another one of Russia's crazy attack, that he should run. Run to get away from the man and that maniac wrath. But he couldn't- his body wouldn't obey him, his mouth wouldn't even open to yell. Even when the monster slowly turned around, and Lithuania's eyes caught his and screamed, "Go, Latvia! Run away!" he couldn't do a thing. There was too much liquid… a dark red, thick liquid.
It was only when his wide eyes looked up and locked on Russia's face and saw those innocent, those true tears, did he finally move.
And his legs sped off by themselves, leading him blindly onward. He had no idea where the exit was, or what he was going to do if he ever found one. It seemed as though, no matter what turn he took, he would get nowhere- and only end back in the middle, staring around at the echoing space of the mansion, knowing full well that he would never get out.
He kept thinking of Lithuania, kept thinking of Estonia- where was he?- and the guilt weighed him down. He had just left his two friends behind, to endure the fury of Russia, to take the full blow of the man's insanity. If he really did escape, if he managed to make it out alive, what good was it if he was alone? What good was it to live life without anyone to share it with you?
Raivis slowed down to a small pace, and after a few seconds, he stopped moving completely. What good was it to run if he knew capture was inevitable?
He glanced around, willing his now blurry eyes to stop stinging, and tried to determine his location. A set of stairs to his right, another hallway with half a dozen empty rooms. Except one of them was closed and locked, with Cyrillic writing on the front. Russia's room. He was back in the central parlor, back to the place where it all started.
The boy hesitantly took a step forward, staring ahead down the hall, light burning brightly around the corner- the living room. Where Lithuania was probably fighting Russia off. Russia. Who hadn't chased him, after all. He strained his eyes, trying to keep quiet, to see if there was any noise to confirm what he already knew.
Nothing but the sound of dripping liquid. Raivis held onto the wall, peering around the corner into the light. Blood, everywhere. Lithuania was slumped on the ground, brown hair matted with dried red, face a smear of bruises and ripped skin. That pool had grown larger, expanding around his collapsed body and towards the door entrance. As though reaching out to turn the knob, and open the one thing that could set its master free.
Russia was nowhere to be seen.
Maybe it was because of this, and the state of his friend, the fact that his guilt clawed up to his chest- hurting him until nothing else seemed to matter- that Raivis idiotically ran out from his hiding spot and into the room. He reached Lithuania and gently touched the man's shoulder, hoping that he was still alive. There was only a slight twitch in response, but Raivis let out the breath he'd been holding. He made to turn his friend over and inspect the wounds, try to clean them up as much before Russia came back, but then Lithuania's hand weakly grabbed his sleeve. His head shifted ever so slightly to the right, so that Raivis caught sight of those tired green eyes.
He knew before Lithuania whispered, "…R-run…R..aiv…is…" that he'd been caught.
Before Russia came back?…Who was he kidding? The monster had been there all along. Standing in the corner, silently watching him and his foolish display of bravado.
And they were there too. Those tears. Those forever-there tears.
They glistened on Russia's blood-drenched face, making his violet eyes crinkle up with sadness and pain.
"Little Latviya…" the Russian said softly, and his words wasn't full of that childish mock Latvia had expected. No… they were hollow. Empty.
The boy forced himself to meet that hateful face, to look up without fear of Russia for once in his life. What he saw shocked him- a smile. The blankest, emotionless smile Russia had ever displayed- and yet it was bursting with so many emotions at the same time. Ones Raivis never knew Russia could show.
"Latviya…" The man was in front of him now, trailing behind the results of his night's work.
Lithuania's hold on his sleeve tightened and those green eyes flashed. Go!, they shouted at him, HURRY!
But once again, his body wouldn't listen.
Staring into the eyes of the man he loathed, into the eyes that were crying, Raivis felt a strange feeling in his chest. It was a mixture of relief and confidence… power. For some reason, he knew that after this day, Russia would not hurt him, the other Baltics, or anyone else ever again.
"Will you do me a favor, Latviya?" There was a pleading note in the Russian's tone.
He exchanged a glance with Lithuania, who only jerked his head in confusion, and then Raivis returned two unwavering eyes to Russia. The boy gave a small and curt nod- an act he never would have dared 5 minutes ago. "Yes…"
And then, unexpectedly, Russia was smiling again. It looked so odd with the tears still falling, with Lit's blood sliding down his temple, and his eyes dropping from sorrow.
The faucet pipe was offered to Raivis. A slow but sure offering. He accepted it in an instant, though when he stared down at the hated object, it brought nothing but chilling memories. Rusty, bloody, bent and twisted, the weapon was liken to its owner.
"Спасибо, Latviya," Russia whispered and took another step closer to the youngest Baltic. "Now, I want you to…"
Raivis didn't need to hear the rest to know what Russia's intent was. He didn't need to feel Lithuania's startled yank on his arm to feel the surprise- and yet the knowledge that had always been there. He didn't need this night, this traumatic, changing night, to experience the coldness now enveloping his heart. The tears themselves told him everything.
"Kill me." The monster's smile grew wider, the hands left his side and went behind his back. Obediently waiting.
"I want you to kill me, Latviya."
The too-familiar, nightmarish violet eyes softened for one brief second, staring at him, gazing through him after only a vague and tired survey. Then they closed, gently falling apart before his very own eyes.
Raivis was shocked, shocked at how resolute his tormentor sounded, how resolute his actions were. But he was more shocked at his next words, the softness and coldness of them- like winter snow sweeping across the barren nation of Russia.
And as he raised the faucet pipe in the air, moving with a will that wasn't his own, Raivis swore that Russia's face had never been more at peace.
The tears had finally stopped.
Спасибо - Thank you
A/N: I was just in a really sad mood today...and this came into my head. I know I should be updating Cast a Spell on You, but I'm not really feeling it right now...
And I'm not sure if I'll be continuing this.
Note - This may or may not be a Russia x Latvia pairing.