Dissy: durno

A/N: got this idea from a mosquito bite on Mo's (my sister's) leg that I said looked like a tumor.


It was a fact that Kurt Wagner and Kitty Pryde were good friends. Actually, more than friends—boyfriend and girlfriend. And though you have to be really friendly with a person to be a BF or GF with them, every relationship has rough patches. Kitty and Kurt were experiencing a really rough patch.

"Keety, you're such a drama kveen! You vant to call nine-vone-vone every time you get a spleenter!" Kurt shouted at Kitty.

"You, like, don't care about me! You take, like, one look at a cut on my arm and say, "oh well, it's not, like, close enough to your heart, so you won't, like, bleed to death"!" Kitty yelled back.

"I don't care about you? Who vas it zat stayed viz you ven you had zat horrible head cold – and caught it ze next day because he vas viz you so much? Not Logan!" Kurt countered.

"Don't you, like, drag Logan into this!" Kitty defended.

"So iz Logan your new boyfriend? Vy don't you go run and cry to heem!" Kurt said haughtily.

"I'm not, like, running and crying to, like, anybody!" Kitty shouted.

"No, no! Vat did you do ven I said ze first spleenter zing to you? You ran and cried to Rogue!" Kurt yelled, shaking his finger to prove his point.

"That comment hurt!" Kitty said.

"Vell man up, leetle girl! Ve're mutants! Ze vorld von't be handed to us on a silver platter!" Kurt shouted, his tail lashing and knocking over an umbrella stand.

"I never said it would! You're just so, like, bitter 'cuz you look like a freak and everyone else looks normal! Wait, did I say freak? I meant demon freak!" Kitty shrieked back at him.

"Zat vas low." Kurt growled. Kitty glared at him from across the lobby.

"You gotta fight dirty." Kitty taunted, quoting what Kurt had said five minutes earlier.

"Vat is your problem? You stupid, ditzy valley girl!" Kurt barked at her.

"Now you're fighting dirty!" Kitty whined.

"Vell, look at leetle Miss Hypocrite!" Kurt spat.

"Me? Hypocrite? Who always leaves his socks laying around then rails on me for leaving mine?" Kitty shrieked.

"Don't you get me started! You write letters home every day and tease me for writing a letter vonce a veek! You drink straight from ze milk carton and get on me for touching the rim viz my fingers! You do all zeze zings and zen hate me for doing vat I do!" Kurt bellowed.

"Go easy on me!" Kitty protested.

"Go easy on you? Vy should I!" Kurt snarled.

"God,-" Kitty started.

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain!" Kurt scolded angrily.

"God, Kurt, you're such a religious freak! Just let me finish a goddamn sentence! Just frickin' let up, will you? Look, I only have six more months to, like, live!" Kitty screeched, tears rolling down her cheeks. Kurt growled at her then fell silent.

"Vat do you mean?" he spat harshly.

"I have a cancerous tumor on my right leg. It's spread to my— the rest of my body." Kitty said quietly. Kurt stared blankly at her.

"You do not."

"Yes, I do." Kitty said. Kurt teleported closer so he was five feet away.

"Really?" he tried. Kitty nodded, tears splashing. Her right hand rested on the side of her thigh. Kurt cocked his head, trying to figure out if that was the smallest ghost of a smile under Kätzchen's tears. Was she lying?

"If you really do have cancer—" Kurt started.

"I do!" Kitty insisted shrilly.

"If you really do have cancer, zen vere did it spread to?" Kurt asked, sharpness coming into his voice again.

"I don't want to tell you." Kitty said.

"You don't!" Kurt declared.

"No! It's personal!" Kitty protested.

"Vere? Your intestines? Lungs? Heart?" Kurt asked, half teasing.

"Kurt Wagner, you are HORRIBLE!" Kitty screamed so loud, she was sure the whole mansion heard.

"Touchy! You do not have cancer!" Kurt declared again, goading Kitty into telling.

"No! Yes I do! It spread from my leg to my ovaries!" Kitty shouted, then immediately clapped both hands over her mouth, afraid of what she had said. Kurt went dead silent.

"Iz it true, Kätzchen? You're not lying to me?" Kurt asked cautiously. Kitty shook her head, fresh tears streaming down her face.

"If you don't believe it, feel my leg." Kitty said. She grabbed Kurt's hand and pressed it to a spot on the middle of her thigh. There was a lump there. Kurt recoiled in disgust, shaking his hand violently.

"Ach, mein Gott," Kurt said. "If you have cancer zere too," he gestured to her stomach, "can I poke your belly?"

Kitty gave a watery smile but shook her head. Kurt smiled. At least she wasn't crying anymore.

"So vat does ze . . . um . . . ozzer cancer mean?" Kurt asked hesitantly, morbid curiosity overcoming him. He thought Kitty would tell him it was too personal, but she started to talk.

"I'm being treated with radiation – I had the choice of chemo or radiation. I didn't want to lose my hair, so I chose radiation. I have surgery scheduled next week to remove the tumor. If you're really wondering what it means-means, it means that I'm infertile." Kitty said, backing away slightly.

"Oh vow," Kurt said softly. He had no idea Kitty had cancer. She'd never shown signs of it before. There was an awkward silence between the two. Kurt twisted his tail. Kitty shuffled her feet. Kurt twisted his tail harder. Kitty checked her nails. Kurt yelped as his tail cracked. Kitty jumped. Kurt let his tail go. Kitty looked at Kurt. Kurt smiled. Kitty smiled back.

Kurt crossed the space between them quickly and swept Kitty into a huge hug. She smiled into his shoulder and settled into the embrace, then Kurt shifted and before she knew it, his lips were on hers. Kitty pulled back in shock, then let herself relax. This was Kurt, after all. She looped her arms around his neck, and his arms found their way around her waist. They kissed for what seemed to be hours to Kitty, then something broke her bliss. Itch. Itch. Itchy itchy itch. It was unbearable. ITCH!

Kitty pulled away slightly.

"Hang on, I have an itch," she murmured into Kurt's lips, blushing. He looked down into her eyes, one eyebrow slightly raised. She shivered at how piercing his eyes were, though she couldn't see his pupils. Kitty dragged her nails across her mosquito bite on her leg, sighing in content. Kurt's eyes flicked between Kitty's hand and Kitty's eyes, back and forth. His eyes settled on hers, and his eyebrow became even more raised.

"Mosquito bite," Kitty growled, scratching at her leg. Then she froze. Kurt was glaring at her. She could feel his heart speed up, pumping adrenaline into his body. Her heart rate soared, suddenly petrified. She tried to worm away from Kurt's iron grip. She couldn't.

"You little liar," Kurt growled. His eyes darkened. Suddenly, Kitty saw a rapid change in his eyes. They went from gold to burnt umber, his pupils becoming black and dilating – for a fight. Kitty swallowed nervously, her breath coming in shallow pants.

"Oh crap," she squeaked. Her body became very hot for a second, and then she was disoriented, everything telling her she was not the way she should be. Kitty opened her eyes and squealed, clinging to Kurt desperately. He was letting go. Kitty looked down the fifteen-foot drop from the chandelier to the floor of the lobby. Kurt was prying her hands off his arm, she was going to die. Her last three fingers came loose and she was falling, no time to scream before her body became hot again.

Kitty opened her eyes, her heart hammering furiously in her throat, chest tight. She remembered to breathe, and gasped, then started panting, then realized she was clinging to the chest of a demon.

"Don't you ever lie to me like that again," Kurt growled dangerously in her ear. Kitty froze, nodding stiffly into his shoulder. She felt a quick stab of pain in her ear. Kurt had nipped her. His lips were crushing hers, suddenly, and very aggressively. Kitty's fear vanished, and she kissed back, trying to be as aggressive as Kurt, but falling far short of her mark. With her hands against his chest, Kitty felt the beat of his heart, and the little tremors of breath as Kurt laughed, and kissed her collarbone. No, Kitty didn't like this. She found his lips again, her tongue tracing his bottom lip. Kurt nipped her lip in response.

Just when it was getting good, the two were forced apart by a sharp voice.

"Kitty! Ah come runnin' 'cuz ah hear ya scream that Kurt's horrible, an' when ah get here, ye two have yer tongues down each other's throats! Good God, woman!" Rogue shouted from the top of the stairs. Kitty blushed furiously, but Kurt looked unashamed of himself, keeping a hand on her waist. He winked to Kitty.

"Did you know zat Keety has only six monz to live because of a deadly mosquito bite?"

Ha ha! *Smiles* cute lil' one-shot, hope y'all enjoyz! Review! I didn't spend an hour writing this at one in the morning for nothing, did I? No reviews, I won't feed you guys your Kurtty stories, and we all shall suffer. Why don'tcha just click that lil' button there . . . ?

PS. I love you guys all the same. Sorry if I come off as crabby, I suffer from sleep deprivation. Just make my sleep deprivation more fun if you review!


Iris Musicia