I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE!
Light laid on the floor with his hands behind his back. The cold metal around his wrists made his skin tremble. Light finally filled the dark, empty room. A familiar figure with dark, messy hair stood in the doorway.
"Are you planning on behaving, Light?" L said in his usual monotone.
Light buried his face in the white carpet. His expression was masked by his auburn hair. "Yes…"
L walked over to Light removing the hand cuffs. "I had hoped we'd try going out again today… Would you like that?"
Light slowly rose to his feet. "Can we?" His brown eyes sparkled with the slightest glimmer of hope.
"Of course," L replied leading Light into the kitchen. "Now, show me what you've learned."
Light had recently been studying human emotions and actions and what they meant. He'd begged L to let him for some reason, and L couldn't say no. L had thought he'd progressed quite well in studying the actions and would take him out to practice.
After the Death Note issue Light changed drastically. The blood lust inside him awakened and he became incredibly violent. He'd completely forgotten Light Yagami and given over to the will of Kira. After Light was imprisoned L thought about his position of owning Light's Death Note.
If he relinquished ownership of the thick, black notebook, then Light would lose his memories of ever being Kira. L considered that possibility, but thought that if returned the note to Ryuk Light would be killed. L studied all possibility of the notebook and finally decided to burn it. If he burned the note no one would be tormented by it ever again and Light would be free.
Directly after burning the notebook Light forgot everything. The name Light Yagami didn't exist anymore. He'd died along with Kira. L took it upon himself to help his friend. He couldn't stand the thought of Light in a jail cell. With the NPA's permission mass murderer, Kira, was allowed release if accompanied by Detective L. I then took him with me to my house in Winchester, England.
Light had forgotten all of his past, which was good in L's eyes. He didn't have to deal with the guilt of being Kira only an average teenager that encountered some memory loss from a car accident killing off his family. L told Light that they were best friends and were inseparable, which wasn't too far from the truth. The only time L has to worry is by mid-afternoon.
Light has short "episodes" where he flails and writhes for no apparent reason. L believes this is Kira trying to redevelop himself. L knows this is not possible because Light doesn't remember even at that moment.
However, it does scare L. Light goes out of control no matter where they are. Light's become emotionally unstable during these days with L. Light's personality has changed due to his lack of identity. He's like a little kid trying to understand right from wrong.
"Very well, Light," L encouraged as Light demonstrated the meaning of a smile, his most skilled action. "Where shall we be heading out to today?" L said brushing off his baggy blue jeans.
Light thought for a moment. "… May we go to the park?" Light didn't know many of the areas around him, but places he did know about he learned from the videos provided by L.
"We may," L said handing Light his jacket from the closet.
"Please don't make me wear that." Light had on black slacks and a silk, white, collared shirt. He eyed the white, baggy jacket with displeasure.
"Fine," L said placing the jacket back into the closet. "I'm just looking after you."
"Please Ryuzaki, you're not wearing a coat," Light eyed L's baggy, white shirt.
"It has sleeves," L said humorously motioning to the long sleeves that came down to his wrists.
Light looked displeased as they walked out the door.
"Do you want to drive or walk?" L said.
"… Walk," Light said not bothering to make eye contact.
The started to walk along the side walk in the direction of the park. "I think you chose a really good day to go to the park. It's hardly as cold as it's been." L watched Light's expression remain the same. "Hey Light, I'll try not to be so protective. I just don't want anything bad to happen to you again." L squeezed Light's hand, "You wanna go get some ice cream after our walk?"
Light tried to look angry even though his child-like eyes began to sparkle, "Can we?" Light always said 'can we?' now it really meant, 'that's not too much trouble is it?"
It always made L grin inside himself. He didn't know what to make of this new modest Light. "Of course," He'd always replied even after the first time he asked him a question about Light's wants.
L stared at the now conscious Light. His chocolate brown eyes stared innocently at the dark, tired eyes of L. "Who are you?"
L looked curiously at his friend. "Light, are you alright?"
Light's eyes gazed wildly at the unknown spectator. "What did you call me?"
L's eyes got wider than their current state. Is this because I burned the Death Note? It must be since it's directly after I did it… "Light. That's your name, Light Yagami. I'm Ryuzaki, your friend."
"Ryuzaki…" Light tried out the name on his tongue. "Why am I here?"
L thought for a moment. "… You and your family were out for a drive and a car ran a stop sign. He slammed right into you. You suffered with some head injuries, but your family didn't make it."
"What?" L had never seen Light look so vulnerable and scared in his entire life. Suddenly, Light groaned gripping his head. He grit his teeth trying to bare the sharp pain that wouldn't leave him.
"What's wrong, Light?" L said placing a frantic hand on his shoulder.
"My head… it hurts," Light groaned again. L reached for the nurse's button, "No! They'll only put me on more meds." Light buried his head in L's chest. "Just stay here for a moment… please." Light gripped L's shirt feeling like his head was going to explode. L wrapped his arms around Light stroking his head in order to get him to calm down.
After a few minutes Light's breathing returned to normal as he looked up at L. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"
What's going on this isn't like Light at all. L removed his arms from Light. "I'm fine. Are you worried about something?"
Light looked down. "It's only starting to form… I feel that the longer I talk to you the less I'll want you to leave. You are my only key to my past, right? If my family is dead…"
L studied the deep thought and terror over Light's face. "Well then, do you want to come stay with me?"
Light studied L's face. "…Can I?"
L was taken off guard by this question. He saw the hopeful, bright eyes. "Of course…"
L was excited to see Light's reaction towards animals. He was leading Light to a duck pond where most people went out with their friends and families. It was considered a park since less could be found in the area.
Light's eyes widened with a childlike wonder when he scanned the high winding hills. The multicolored leaves on the trees started to fall. There were few people here, but there'd be more as the sun set. However, L was a little apprehensive about being here this late since lover's usually appeared at this hour.
"Ryuzaki, what are those?" Light tugged at L's arm. He was referring to the creatures covered in feathers that lacked appendages and had strand webbed feet. Even their mouths jutted out with a hard shell covering them. About six of the strange creatures played in the water.
"Those are ducks. Have you seen any of those on your videos?"
Light shook his head. "How strange..." Light turned his attention to the people scanning them for their reactions towards the strange creatures. Some families fed the creatures bread laughing as they watched them eat. Others ran off because one of their children were frightened. Still Light savored every moment of it.
Light thought the only strange thing was a man and woman. They were standing unusually close at the top of the hill away from all the families. The woman had her arms wrapped around the man's neck and the man's arms wrapped around the woman's waist. Light saw them brush their lips together smiling blissfully.
L followed Light's gaze with a worried expression crossing his face. L had no idea how Light would react to physical and emotional attractions considering his mental condition. He didn't see a woman being able to put up with his constant headaches and defiant rants.
"What are they doing, Ryuzaki?" Light asked breaking off L's thoughts.
L sighed before replying, "They're kissing."
"It's a physical attraction people feel towards someone they love."
"Love?" Light was deeply intrigued by the words. "You mean like how you love Watari?"
"Kind of... This kind of love is the type where you care about one particular person more than anyone else in the world. They make each other happy."
Light stared deeply into L's eyes hoping to catch some form of emotion. Light smiled at L, "So you love me, Ryuzaki?"
L was startled by the sudden question. "What brought this on?"
"Well, you do everything for me. And you somehow manage to put up with it every day." Light paused for a moment. "...Are you happy when you're with me?"
"...I suppose I am." L quickly started walking up the hill thinking of a way to change the subject. "Hey, let's go get that ice cream," L continued to walk not making an effort to turn around.
L felt a hand grip his wrist turning him around. He felt soft lips brush against his. L looked at the smiling face of Light. "I love you, too."
L felt some hostile stares on them. L sighed knowing Light couldn't help but feel a child-like curiosity on the whole situation. "Light, you can't do things like that."
Light's forehead creased meaning he was thinking about L's words. "Why not? We love each other don't we?"
"Umm... There are many types of love, Light. We have a friendship love, therefore we don't kiss."
"Oh..." Light thought for a little longer before taking L's hand and walking up the hill with him. "Human emotions are so weird."
"But it intrigues me how everyone reacts to something differently. Why is that?"
"Everyone acts in their own way. They do what makes them who they are. Individuality."
"Strange," Light said running the new word through his mind. "Look there's the ice cream store!"
L barely noticed them approaching the nearby shop. They'd usually pass the time with Light's questions. They'd usually have some interesting conversations on their own opinion on emotions and just humans in general .
L and Light walked into the colorful shop. Multi-colors were slashed on the walls as they approached a young teenager. She smiled politely at the two of them. "How may I serve you?"
"Two scoops of chocolate for me," L said. "Do you know what you want, Light?"
"I'll have the same," Light said staring at the thick flavors of ice cream in the bar in front of them.
L handed Light his cone of ice cream. Light licked up the ice cream as L paid the teenager. They both walked out finding a new subject to talk about.
"I still don't understand that phrase, 'How may I serve you?'. Do they actually serve you or are they just saying that so you'll tip them?"
L never lost amusement in Light's questions, no matter how stupid they were. "Well, they do serve you the food you want and try to satisfy the person paying them."
"Well that's the thing. Aren't you just paying them to smile and stand there?"
"You can't keep someone here against their will."
Light finished off the first scoop of ice cream while L was already biting down into the cone. Light thought the milky flavor was strange. It was sweet and creamy, but he could taste something else in it. Was it salt? It balanced out the sweetness with the bitter.
L was licking his fingers when Light stopped studying the flavor. He motioned his cone in L's direction. "Here," Light said.
L happily took the cone from Light's hand biting into it. "You don't like it?"
"That's not it at all. I just figured you wanted it more."
"Light is very considerate," L stared wide eyed at the cone.
"No, just observant…" Light's eyes stared at the bushes at the gate of the manor where he and his friend resided. Did they just move? Light saw orange beneath the green leaves. Light's curiosity enticed him to see what the creature was. Light pulled his hand back when he felt something sharp slice his finger. He saw the red liquid spilling from his tan skin.
"Light," L turned and saw his friend staring from his finger then to the bushes then back to his finger. L saw the blood and looked on Light's pointer finger. "The thorns are very sharp wouldn't you agree?" L took s lick of his ice cream.
Light dipped his pinky in the soft cream. He extended his arm to the bush. A small pink tongue licked his finger. Light stared calculating the appearance of the small furry creature.
It was about the size of Light's hand. It had long, caramel brown hair and eyes. Its nose was small and pink and covered with little white hairs that were longer than any other hairs on its face. It had big, pointed ears that sat on the top of its head. The creature crawled on its four legs into light's hand licking his cut clean and wrapping its tail around his fingers.
"A cat," L said scratching the ball of fur in light's arms. He thought the cat looked like Light. Their hair and eye color were identical. "Wonder how long he's been out here? Not very, I think…"
Light brought the cat closer to his gaze taking in his features. The cat nudged Light's chin with his paw not retracting the claws. Light giggled as the soft paw touched his cheek. "He's cute."
L stared at Light's smiling face. He loved it when Light smiled like that. "Do you… want to take him home?"
Light's eyes looked deep into L's. "Can we?"
L's eyes lowered sadly. "Of course…"
L was always intrigued by this new Light. He was modest, timid, and curious… like a child. As they walked up to the door of L's house L thought about Light's former self. The Light he knew was strong, independent, and vengeful… maybe from all the lying he'd done to manipulate the people in his life. He couldn't understand why the Light he knows now is so different. Was it because his walls were broken down? For once in L's knowledge of Light, he was vulnerable…
"Ryuzaki, you think he's hungry?" Light played with the kitten's ears.
"I'll call Watari about bringing him some… Have you thought of a name for him?"
Light thought for a moment. A name appeared in his mind that felt familiar as he looked in the kittens bright, brown eyes. "How about Kira?"
L froze trying to see a change in Light's composure. Light absentmindedly fondled the cat's tail. "I think the name suits him," L said glad to see Light acting normal.
L opened the door as Light stepped in with Kira. Light walked upstairs to the room where L's computer resided. The second door to the right, Light had memorized. He stepped in laying down on the soft, brown couch. He played with Kira on his chest.
L entered the room afterwards and headed towards the desk that was a few feet in front of Light. L sat at the desk hugging his legs close to his chest. He flicked on the computer monitor and began typing.
After the Kira case there were hardly any criminals willing to do anything. L was currently not assigned to any case from the lack of criminal development. This made L's life easier because he knew Light would be harder to take care of if he had to work.
L half expected them to resume their series of questions. He knew today would be different because of the new addition to the family. L e-mailed Watari about the cat.
Light scratched behind Kira's ears. He heard a small rumbling coming from his throat that he soon recognized as pleasure. The kitten curled up on Light's chest closing his eyes. Light continued to stroke his back as the cat fell asleep.
"Ryuzaki, have I changed?" Light asked keeping his attention on the sleeping cat.
This was a usual question of Light. L knew that, but he was still surprised by it. He hated answering that question. "Yes…" L's eyes remained on the screen.
"Hmm…" Light ran the reply through his mind. "Do you think I'll ever be my old self again?"
This was a new question. L hadn't considered that Light was trying to regain his memories, or at least be more like Light Yagami. "I suppose so," L never answered a question he was unsure of with a direct reply.
Light's eyes lowered. "Ryuzaki, what was my family like?"
L hated it when Light asked questions randomly. He definitely wasn't expecting his family to occur in a sentence. "What's causing these questions, Light?"
"I'm sorry. I know haven't asked any questions about my family since I started living with you, but today… today I saw all those families. I wonder if we shared the same warmth."
L sighed opening a drawer pulling out some files. He pulled a photo out of one of the manila folders. He handed Light the photo.
A tall man with dark hair that was starting to gray was wrapping one of his muscular arms around a woman with dark brown hair. The woman had one arm wrapped around the man and another around a young boy with auburn hair, who was being hugged happily by a girl with her dark brown hair tied up. The people all smiled peacefully.
"They were good people," L said looking at the intense gaze Light gave off as he stared at the photo.
"The man there was your father, Soichiro Yagami." L pointed at the eldest man in the photo. "He had a strong sense of justice and devotion to his family. You were influenced by him a lot.
"This woman," L pointed to the woman beside Light's father, "was your mother, Sachiko Yagami. She was a very loving person. She cared about you and your sister." L used the evidence he'd gotten while the Yagami household was under surveillance to gather the assumption of Light's Mother and Sister since he'd never met them.
Light already knew himself in the photo as his gaze traveled to the small girl embracing him. "That's Sayu Yagami, your little sister. She was a ball of energy, always bright..."
Light scanned the picture for a few more minutes before handing it back to L. "Thank you, Ryuzaki." Light rose off the couch cuddling Kira close so he wouldn't wake him. He placed the cat on the couch.
L returned to his computer screen. "I'll be a while, you think you can manage?"
"Yes..." Light muttered leaving the room. He walked to the room three doors down to the left. He entered seeing the room they shared.
There was a bookshelf in the corner to the left of the door and their king sized bed just parallel to it. The silk sheets were made up neat and tidy. There was a nightstand beside the side L usually slept on (The side closest to the door). The window had stacks of books under it where Light would sit and read at night by the moon light.
Light had sensed that Ryuzaki was feeling uneasy when he asked him questions about physical attractions, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He closed the door before walking over to the book shelf and pulling out a dictionary.
Light took his seat and opened the think book. He turned to the first word that he'd remembered hearing today:
"Kiss: 1. To touch or caress with the lips in expression of affection, greeting, respect, or... amorousness?" Light looked curiously at the last word.
He turned the pages. "Amorousness: 1. Strongly attracted or disposed to love, especially sexual love..." Light didn't understand the term "sexual love". He read on, "2. Indicative of love or sexual desire?" Light sighed turning the pages.
Sexual came up as "see 'sex'" making Light aggravated at the knowledge intake.
"Sex: " Light scanned the letters with a strange fascination, " the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct." Light still wasn't sure he understood what the strange word meant, but he could understand it was directed towards the one organ that made him male.
Light remembered the other new word he'd learned at the park. His eyes flashed back towards the book flipping through more pages. "Love: 1. A deep, tender feeling of affection and solicitude towards a preson, such as that arising from kinship. 2) A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is ... disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance."
He felt the terms "sex" and "desire" were the two reoccurring themes in this quest. Light felt like he had a better understanding of love, and after looking up more words that fed his interest he understood what sex was.
Light placed the dictionary on top of his stack of books by the window. Light didn't bother with his usual routine of showering and brushing his teeth. He took off his shirt and belt then settled under his covers.
Was that what he felt? Every time he saw the detective his heart skipped a beat. He wondered if Ryuzaki felt the same way? Light was always nervous as he tried to continually please his friend with his ability to learn the emotions in a human.
Light felt his heart race as the thought of Ryuzaki filled his mind. He thought this was how all humans felt on an average day, but really it meant something more...
Light's thoughts raced around in his head. What should I do? If I feel this way shouldn't I tell Ryuzaki? I mean, we do live together and all, but I don't want him to hate me...
L walked in the room noticing the mounds on the bed. L had been sleeping with Light since he started staying with him because Light requested it of him. L felt teased being that close to Light's perfect body.
L sat in his normal position on the bed. He pulled his knees into his chest.
Light turned to stare at his friend in the darkness. "Ryuzaki, would you hold me? I'm kind of cold tonight..."
L sank beneath the covers pulling Light into his chest. He'd done this every time Light asked. L's arms wrapped around Light's shoulders as Light's arms wrapped themselves around L's waist. L felt himself getting hard just from the sensation of looking at Light. Now he had to deal with their bodies pressed against each other and Light's hot breath against his neck! Just the thought made L shiver.
Light looked up at the raven hair unintentionally running his fingers through it. Light licked L's neck before placing a kiss on the apple of his slender neck.
A surprise gasp escaped L's lips. He pushed Light away glaring intently at him. "What are you doing?" L kept the same monotone voice, but he was affected by Light's kiss.
"You actually reacted this time? You didn't seem to mind at the park..." Light curiously watched L's reaction.
"Idiot, you didn't know what you were doing in the park. I told you not to do that."
Light couldn't understand why, but a strange feeling overwhelmed him. He felt a weight fall on his chest as his throat tightened. "So what? You're made because I love you? I don't understand I thought you were supposed to be happy when something like this happens."
L's gaze softened. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around Light. "I'm sorry for frustrating you. I... love you too, but we can't do thinks like that alright?"
"Why not?" Light muttered his head buried in L's chest.
L thought for a moment. "...Because we're both males. Kissing is meant to be done between males and females."
"...So does the same rule go for sex?"
L's eyes widened. "How do you know about sex, Light?" Light pointed to his stack of books. L eyed the dictionary on top of the stack. He sighed, "Light, it's complicated..."
"I know it is," Light said snuggling closer to L, "but why? I don't understand..."
L stroked Light's hair something held L back. What? "I know, Light. I- I can be honest and say that I've wanted you to kiss me for quite some time, but I'm not ready for something like this..."
This was true in L's case. He was never good at revealing his emotions. He hardly gave into them since he could lose sight of what's really going on if he let your emotions get the better of him. It was one of the reasons why he almost lost to Light, no to Kira. Light was the first person to ever make him question himself. He honestly loved him with all his being, but his self consciousness and unsociable manner made it difficult for him to open up to even his closest friend.
Light glared angrily as he bit down on L's shoulder. He could taste the red liquid now filling his mouth.
"Light, stop." L said as a warning. Light wouldn't budge. L grabbed Light's wrist forcing him down. "I said stop!"
Light's eyes stared with anger and rage. "You want this and yet you won't even consider me! After I confessed y-you just come up with that shitty reply?"
"What are you afraid of? Tell me! I know I don't know much about my past, but I feel that I had the same feeling as I do now about you..."
Oh, I doubt that, Light... "I'm sorry, but I wish to tell you nothing."
"You heartless man! Why do you have to be like this? You never show your true feelings, so you build up a shell to keep everyone out. Then you end up pushing everyone away, even the ones who really care about you!"
L felt the stabbing pain of how true those words were. Light was now sobbing in his arms, but L felt anger boil inside him. He rarely got angry, but sometimes Light pushed him over the edge.
L dragged Light by the wrists out of the room. He threw Light in the room across from theirs quickly locking the door behind him.
Light had been in the dark, empty room earlier today. Light ran into the door screaming and pounding on it. "Ryuzaki! Ryuzaki, please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be rude! Ryuzaki, please let me out! I'm afraid, Ryuzaki! Please, let me out!" Light screamed from a new found fear of the dark.
L sank down outside of the door. He rubbed his temples trying to calm himself down. He was continually tormented by Light's screams that he would sound when L locked him in that closet. it reminded him of when Light was in prison after being captured. L felt bitter hatred for himself each time Light called for him.
After a few hours the pounding and shouts stopped all together as Light felt the waves of exhaustion sweep over him. L rested his head against the door frame hearing Light's steady breaths.
L opened the door seeing Light collapsed on the floor. L rubbed his neck where Light bit him. He shook his head slightly as he picked up the sleeping boy carrying him back to their room. L placed him in their bed crawling in behind him embracing him tightly. Light responded by wrapping his arms around his waist.
"...Ryu...zaki..." Light whispered in his sleep.
L kissed Light's head running his fingers through it slowly. "I'm sorry, Light..."
The insomniac felt Light's arms tighten around him. He felt the deep pleasurable moments of Light's soft breaths against his skin. Sleep dragged him under with the sleeping killer in his arms.
YaY Chapter 1! It'll probably be a while for chapter 2 cuz I'm trying to finish Paradise? but what did you think? I know Light is out of character right not, but he's supposed to be since he can't remember who he was. Oh well... Please comment and tell me what you think to help me with the next chapter. Thanks!