A/N: What is this I don't even.

Well, I do. The English version of Prince of Tennis makes my ears bleed with its horrendous pronunciation of the characters' names. One of the worst offenders is the pronunciation of Tezuka's name, "Teh-ZOO-ka," which hopefully we all know should be pronounced "TEH-zu-ka." Anyway, the first time I heard it I likened it to the pronunciation of "bazooka," and Tezuka Bazooka became a running joke with my friends and me. And if you've been pronouncing "Tezuka" incorrectly the whole time you've been a Prince of Tennis fan, well, hopefully this is educational for you.

Disclaimer: I'm sure Konomi-sensei would approve of this (Tezuka/Fuji porn plus pronunciation-teaching), but I'm not him and don't claim to own his wonderful characters.

-Tezuka BAZOOKA!-

"Mitsu—oh—oh God, yes, harder, I'm so—"

Tezuka lifted Fuji's hips for better leverage and rocked his hips forward with more force than before. He reached between them and took Fuji's erection in hand, pumping it in time with his thrusts, and Fuji came all over his hand with a breathy cry.

"Syusuke," Tezuka groaned against Fuji's neck, his thrusts losing some of their control. "Syusuke, I'm—"

Tezuka jerked once, twice, and then he was coming in hot spurts inside Fuji-


Tezuka choked, fumbled. He pulled out and sat back on his knees. "What," he growled, "was that?"

Fuji burst into a fit of giggles. "Did you know English-speakers have a tendency to emphasize Japanese words incorrectly?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, an uninformed American person might think your name is pronounced like 'bazooka.'" Fuji sat up. "Hence. Tezuka Bazooka. Besides, don't you think 'bazooka' is accurate?"

"...Twenty laps," Tezuka said through gritted teeth.