AN: Everyone is always making these types of things, so I decided to to whip one up myself. I'm not sure it's very good, but hey, I just felt like making one for fun. So, yeah, enjoy!


COURTNEY: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Hello, and congratulations! You are now in possession of your very own COURTNEY unit! To make sure you get the best possible experience and use out of your unit, please read over these instructions.

Basic Info;

Name: Courtney (Also goes by Court, Princess, and many other similar pet names. -Warning, we are not responsible for any bodily harm the COURTNEY unit may inflict on you upon using said pet names-)

Age: 16

Manufactured By: Total Drama Inc.


Your COURTNEY unit comes with these accessories;

One Pair of Olive Green Capri Pants

One White Short Sleeve Dress Shirt

One Grey Sweater Vest

One Pair of Wedge Heels

One PDA

One Violin

The COURTNEY unit is extremely protective of her PDA. If the item breaks, quickly go buy a new one, for she will go into PDA withdrawal until one is given to her.

Same goes with her violin, if the musical instrument is broken, she may cry, but will get over it much quicker then the destruction of her PDA.


Your COURTNEY unit will come with the following mood settings;

Uptight Overachiever (Default)

Pole Out Of Ass (Locked, unless in possession of DUNCAN unit. -See farther down for details-)

Bitchy (May switch from Default to this setting at random)

Jealous (Only occurs if both GWEN unit and DUNCAN unit are present)

Your COURTNEY unit may only achieve 'Pole Out Of Ass' status, upon DUNCAN unit convincing her to do something bad, which will lead to them kissing, which in turn will unlock said mode. However, be certain you do not have a HAROLD unit around, for the aforementioned unit might get the COURTNEY unit eliminated from your household, and therefor will lock the setting once more.


Cleaning;

COURTNEY is a very hygienic unit, and like most of the Total Drama units, will shower without being told to do so. Attempting to help wash COURTNEY, may result in injuries, shrieking, and anger from the unit.

Although, some buyers tested out sending a DUNCAN unit inside the bathroom while the COURTNEY unit showered. Four out of five DUNCAN units were shoved from the bathroom immediately, and scolded and yelled at furiously later on.

One buyer's unit however, -possibly a bolder version- climbed into the shower with their COURTNEY unit. The results ending with moaning and other questionable noises coming from inside of said shower. Buyer noticed COURTNEY finally exit the bathroom, nearly forty five minutes later, with a flushed faced, asking if there were any extra towels around.

Sending in any other units while COURTNEY bathes, will have the same results as the four DUNCAN units.


Food and Drink; Your COURTNEY unit isn't a very picky eater, and will normally make herself meals, as she is independent, and doesn't like to ask for help. (Comes with default setting) Though she will never go near Green Jelly, not even if bribed with a hundred thousand dollars.


Relationships with other units;

Bridgette; Your COURTNEY unit will get along best with this one, unless BRIDGETTE unit is busy making out with the GEOFF unit. Then COURTNEY may become disgusted, and lose interest in the BRIDGETTE unit.

Duncan; The DUNCAN unit is a tricky one. Left alone, the two may either bicker and argue over the GWEN unit, or may begin kissing upon argument end. However, if enraged, COURTNEY may inflict damage on the DUNCAN unit, by a swift hit to a crotch with her foot, or with some other type of weapon. (Keep Guitars out of reach of the COURTNEY unit, while around DUNCAN.)

Gwen; Do not leave GWEN and COURTNEY unit alone together. Other buyers have reported about their GWEN unit disappearing, when buyer isn't present, and the two are alone for a long period of time. Later, have found GWEN unit tied up in closet. The two will argue about almost anything, and if arguing happens often, threaten to take the DUNCAN unit away for good. Arguments should go down considerably. If all else fails, consider purchasing a TRENT unit. (Before buying, be certain the TRENT unit's default is not; 'Nine Obsessed' if so, GWEN will not take any interest in TRENT unit.)


FAQ;

Q: My COURTNEY unit keeps criticizing me on my grades. What's up?

A: COURTNEY is very serious when it comes to getting good grades, and school in general. Perhaps ask her to tutor you, and the criticizing will cease.

Q: The DUNCAN and COURTNEY units keep raiding my fridge. How do I prevent this?

A: Try sticking a bowl of Green Jelly and Celine Dion standee in front of the refrigerator. It should repel both units.

Q: My JUSTIN unit and DUNCAN unit are fighting over my COURTNEY unit. How do I stop it?

A: If fighting continues, it is best to sell your JUSTIN unit, for a few buyers who didn't said their DUNCAN unit became very possessive and/or protective of their COURTNEY unit. While the buyers found this adorable, the COURTNEY units did not, and caused an even bigger fight.

Q: Why wont the COURTNEY unit fall for someone other than Duncan?

A: The manufacturers (us) have set all our units to CANNON mode. However, that can be over ridden by manually rebooting the COURTNEY unit and setting it to CRACK mode.


Final Thoughts;

Now that you've read over this manual, you should be ready to handle your brand new COURTNEY unit.

I wish you good luck, and enjoy.

-One Last Warning; CANNON unit's may breed upon being left alone. Do not leave BRIDGETTE and GEOFF units without condoms.-

Sincerely, Total Drama Inc.


AN: Gosh, this was a lot of work. I'm not even sure I'm too happy with it. Oh well, I hope you enjoyed reading it. And stay tuned, because a Duncan manual might be in the works. ;)