Hello, I'm Shelby. This is my first Bones fic, and I feel stupid uploading it when there are so many much better than this. I don't know where this story is going but I will keep it going as long as I get reviews. While reading this you might be like 'Hey isn't that exactly like Dear John?' and I'm not going to lie, these story lines are sort of similar, but only the beginning.

Oh and I don't read other fan fictions for Bones, so if this story has been written just let me know and I will delete it. Thanks.

* I own Bones, that's why Brennan and Booth have sex in every episode.

It was early on a Tuesday morning when everything went black. He heard the helicopters, he saw the flashing lights. He closed his eyes, saw her face and stop breathing. He shouldn't have gone, and he shouldn't have made the decision to leave her.

"This proving my theory that the elongation of homo sapiens's legs came earlier in evolution than previously thought." They clapped as she faked a smile hiding the pain of missing the only man she had ever loved. Everyone knew she was brilliant. They knew she was cold hearted, and not good with change. What no one knew was that her heart wasn't only pumping blood out of its four chambers, it was aching.

The dig was going well and Daisy had managed to calm herself and act like a professional forensic anthropologist rather than a cheerleader. Everything was fine but she still had a part of her that was dead, a happy part that only Booth knew how to bring alive. She though of him constantly and caught herself grabbing her phone to call him often not realizing that phones weren't permitted where he was. It had been nine months and she had all she had received was one post card, which read "Hey Bones, things are pretty crazy here with all this young soldiers. See you back in the states. –Booth." She kept it tucked underneath her pillow and read it over a thousand times admiring how he signed his name. Sure she felt silly, but she missed him.

It was seven on a Tuesday night which meant time to video chat Angela in France; she opened her new laptop that she was given to her by the Maluku Islands expedition staff as a gift for heading the dig. The webcam clicked on, the green light lit up, and she saw her best friends face.

"Jesus Brennan, you look like you've been to hell and back," she said as Brennan took a baby wipe out of her back pack and cleaned the dirt off her face.

"And you look like you are having the time of your life. How is Paris?" she could see the Eifel tower sparkling out the window of Angela's trendy loft, making Angela look like the young artist she once was again, rather than the tech geek she was now.

"Amazing" Hogins shouted from the kitchen while walking over to softly kiss Angela on the cheek.

"Gosh Bren, I can't believe it's been nine months. We will all be back at work in three months." She watched as Brennan's smile faded even more, "Sweetie, why don't you ever smile anymore? Is it really that hard for you being away from him?"

"I, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't smile because I work with human remains everyday, just like I always have. I'm fine." Her fake reassurance was interrupted by Hogins phone ringing.

"Hello?" he answered as Angela pushed him out of the room so she could talk privately to her best friend. They could hear him in the back ground and decided to listen in.

"Oh my god, are you serious? Okay, Yes. I will let them know. I will make sure she hears. Yes. Thank you."

"Jack, what's going on?" she said with a ravaged look, unaware of what was happening.

"Come here, I need to talk to you for a second..." he said as she told Brennan she would be right back.

"Jack, what the hell? What happened?" she said softly as he tried to calm himself down.

"He's been shot. He was shot by the heart. They don't know If he will be okay, they took him to a local hospital." He said trying not to be to loud to make sure Brennan couldn't hear.

"Booth? BOOTHS' BEEN SHOT?" She said forgetting about staying quiet.

"Angela? Angela!" she could hear Brennan shouting from the living room computer.

"I'm so sorry. He is going to be fine. He has to be. Don't worry." Trying to reassure Brennan was like trying to stop a wild fire with a glass of water but she didn't care.

"I have to go. I can't... this… booth Angela, this wasn't supposed to happen" preventing the tears from water falling down her cheeks even though all she wanted was to let go and bawl like an infant.

"Why does everything always happen for the worse? I could have had his child, but he got a brain tumor. We could finally be in a relationship, but he got shot! What is wrong with me Angela? I never know what I have until its half gone. I should be changing our child's diapers and be sleeping in his arms. Not scared unable to sleep at night because he could be killed. I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have let him go," she wiped away tears and shut the laptop.

She rocked her self back and forth wondering why in hell she ever left. She was so afraid he was going to leave her. She wasn't about to be abandoned again, but she pushed him away, pushed him into getting shot. Now everything was her fault. His blood was in her hands.

A/N: So love it hate it? Review it!