It had been four days, six hours, eighteen minutes, and twenty-seven…twenty-eight seconds and the pain still kept him awake and tears in his eyes.

She was tired of the negative emotions he was sending out. She knew the end and it didn't change things. Her heart was heavy and she could only imagine how heavy his must seem to him. With that she threw down her novel, closed her emerald eyes and started making things better.

He collapsed as he brought his dinner into his crappy, run-down, pay-by-the-hour hotel. Seeming to wake, he looked around. He was in a forest. To his left was a clearing with a stream trickling silently through it. Walking into the clearing he saw a woman with silver wings sitting on a rock by the water humming.

"Sam Winchester." she sighed.

"Who- who are you?" he asked, going over to sit next to her.

"I am the faerie Ashla. Daughter of Death." she whispered, her wings rustling gently like the wind through the trees.

"Why am I here Ashla?" Sam asked staring into the river. 'Failure. It's no wonder your brother didn't want you around.' his reflection told him.

"I brought you here. You…you need help. You keep berating yourself, Sam, for things that you cannot control. It was your destiny to drink the Blood of Lucifer's Creation. I'm sorry, sometimes destiny sucks ass." she explained softly, brushing her brown hair out of her face, revealing pointed ears.

"It's my fault. Dean doesn't trust me, he doesn't understand I grew up when he went to Hell. I had too. I thought I needed revenge too. I thought-I thought it'd make me feel better or bring-bring Dean back. It was stupid. I'm a failure-a freak." Sam confessed, wiping his eyes.

"Sam, none of it was your fault. Destiny's crap. Sam, I was in love once, and Destiny called on me to save my people, and I did. Then they threw me out of my homeland for loving the wrong man. I hadn't thought loving an angel would've meant so much when you'd just saved their world, but it did. I know if I saw that angel again I'd fall all over myself apologizing and I pray everyday he would forgive me. But, I cannot find him Sam. I cannot find the part that makes me whole. You can. What makes you whole is your brother. You need and love each other. Dean's just scared." Ashla finished tears glimmering in her eyes.

Suddenly, it seemed clear to Sam, none of it was his fault. NONE OF IT! Ok, so he could've not listened to Ruby or drank demon blood and he realized that. But given the circumstances, he did pretty well, staying alive and all. What Dean did, then and now was Dean's going. Maybe it was for the best but Dean was scared. Ashla was right.

"I'll think about what you said. Thank you. Oh, and what was that angel's name?" Sam got up, somehow knowing now that he could leave.

"Castiel. His name was-is Castiel." she smiled faintly and waved as Sam Winchester left a more together man.

When Sam and Castiel had a moment alone Sam sighed, he had to tell Cas.


"Yes Sam?" "Ashla says 'hi' and she's searching for you."

"Thank you Sam." and with that the angel disappeared, again.

What Sam didn't realize until weeks later when he was researching a haunting in Connecticut was that, Ashla, and the story of Ashla was real, there was lore out there saying she helped the lost find their paths. Sam smiled, that she did very well.

Questions? Concerns? Comments?

So here it is, the little story that's been pounding at my head dying to be written. I did absolutely no research and made up the name Ashla, so if anything even comes close to the twisted thing I've written, cool! But I totally made all of it up.

Thank you for reading, Kitten