I do not own Harry Potter or Twilight.

First of all, I want to tell you that this is not a fic. Now if you want to freak on me and report it then go ahead. I sure hope you don't, though, because this is a very well thought out comparison of two popular book series. I will be giving thoughtful, serious reasons on why I personally believe Harry Potter, by J.K. Rowling, is a all around better book than Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer.

Let me say this now, if you are a crazed twilight fan and you believe Twilight is better BECUZ EDWARD AND JACOB R MEGA HOTT LOL then I suggest you leave. But if you have an actual argument with what I write, review or PM me. I'll be happy to talk.

Oh, and I also believe that these are two completely different book series and I don't know why people keep comparing them. It is obvious which is better. Okay, that's it. Read on.

1. HP has depth. Twilight is superficial and shallow. Edward and Bella's "love" (lust) is barely skin deep. Harry Potter's plot has many layers, and the readers have to peel away each one and uncover more mysteries throughout the story. Twilight is very straightforward and predictable. There is nothing for the readers to look forward to. Also, in HP, the characters have depth. Harry, the main hero, is not "perfect and beautiful and strong and blah blah blah." I mean, it gets boring reading about someone who never makes mistakes. I can't relate to them. Where's the conflict? I want to feel with my characters, I want to cry at something sad, and Twilight's one-dimensional flat whiny bitches don't do that for me. Harry is not perfect. He is interesting to read about, and has actual problems. He lived a tortured childhood, has emotional breakdowns, and constantly attracts trouble. Harry is shy and hates fame; not at all full of himself. He has good morals and beliefs, but doesn't always think before he acts. In Twilight, the main "heroine" (who actually just cries and relies on her boyfriend) has no flaws. Her flaw is that she's "clumsy," something that gives readers no perspective on the character or story. Hermione Granger, HP's main heroine, is a fully fledged dynamic character. She is intelligent, but is also bossy and sensitive. Ron Weasley, Harry's other best friend, leaves his friends multiple times throughout the books; he is definitely not perfect. Harry Potter's plot and characters are much more developed and real.

2. Twilight is anti-feminist/sexist. Bella falls into a depression and cannot function in normal society when Edward leaves her. This demonstrates the idea that women useless without a man. IT WAS A BREAKUP! MOVE ON! Also, Bella is unable to save herself and needs Edward or Jacob to tell her what she can or can't do. Edward and Jacob do all the dirty work. For example, in New Moon, Jacob and Sam and the pack were going out to find Victoria. Bella and Emily (is that her name? Can't remember right now...Sam's GF maybe Leah?) are left at home and don't fight at all. And before anyone says that this is because they aren't werewolves, Meyer should have made someone in the pack a woman. And once she does it is still sexist. Leah becomes a werewolf but instead of being embraced and welcomed like the male werewolves (i.e Jake) she is instead a "burden" and an "annoyance." Also, Bella cooks and cleans for her dad. Before anyone says she offers to do so or she doesn't mind, let me say this: It doesn't matter if she doesn't mind, it's still sexist. It's the actions Meyer is portraying. And if Bella wanted to help out, Meyer could have made here fix the roof or mow the lawn. She didn't have to put her in the kitchen: the "traditional" and stereotypical female placement. Many twitards say this: "Alice is strong, therefore the books are not sexist!" This is untrue. Alice is barely a cut above the rest. Why is her gift (being able to see into the future) so much more unreliable than, say, Edward's? Alice's is very foggy and her visions often do not come true. Is this because women are unreliable? I sure hope not! Alice is not a strong female. Try pinning her against Hermione and see what happens. Imprinting is sexist. The women have NO SAY WHATSOEVER. The men get to choose, and even though you say it is terrible for both sexes, at least the men get to control it. Then the male gets to go off and do whatever he wants, i.e. date other girls, while the girl has to "mature" until she is good enough for her mate. The women are just expected to get under the sheets with them when the time comes. Oh, and Meyer only did that so she didn't have to worry about any more "relationships" between characters. Lazy. And why is Renee such a ditz? While Phil is cool and collected? Harry Potter is definitely not sexist! Hermione is a strong character. She fights head to head with the males and often shows them up. Without Hermione, Harry and Ron would probably be dead by the second book. And Ginny Weasley, Harry's main love interest, fits right in with her brothers. She does not mope around like Bella when Harry leaves her, but she instead keeps his dreams alive by continuing Dumbledore's Army and rebelling against Voldemort. She knows that she is still useful without a man.

3. I understand why girls like Twilight. Throughout the entire book, Meyer never really described Bella. Physically or emotionally. It is easy for girls to slip into the empty shell that is Bella and pretend Edward is their boyfriend. Harry Potter, however, actually appeals to readers for good reasons I.e. the plot and characters.

4. Twilight is predictable. It is blunt and boring. Harry Potter held so many twists and turns that it was impossible to know what would happen next.

5. Twilight has no tragedy. For example, in Twilght, James died. Wow, shocker. Didn't see that coming. In HP, our favorite characters pass away, and Rowling has described them in such great detail that we actually feel for them. (I know this from personal experience; I cried when Sirius died!)

6. Twilight has the wrong morals. Why does Bella like Edward? He's sparkly? He's hot? Why does Edward like Bella? She smells good? And she was in high school when Edward forced her to marry him! If Edward really cared about her, he wouldn't have given her ultimatums. In HP, we have both action and romance. And Harry gradually realized his feelings for Cho and Ginny, and once he did, he didn't rush into the relationship like Bella. And Harry Potter shows realistic relationships. Cho and Harry have real fights, and Cho shows her power by getting mad at him, and knowing that a guy can be wrong. When Edward leaves, Bella doesn't even get mad, she just assumes that it is her fault, and feels sad.

7. Vampires. Don't. Sparkle.

8. Edward is an abusive boyfriend. He has no right to tell Bella who she can and can't hang out with, and can't control her life. Bella is also pathetic because she lets it happen.

9. In the words of Stephen King, Meyer can't write worth a darn. She repeats herself and creates plot holes. I don't want to read fifty million pages describing "Edward's perfect face" (direct quote, she uses that phrase an excessive amount of times). She even describes his goddamn breath. And someone should really take away her thesaurus (really, I wanna see what she does). I honestly feel like I'm stuck in her disgusting wet dream. It's terrible. And Meyer is inconsistent. It is impossible for Bella to be pregnant. How is it that Edward is dead, and his liver, heart, etc do not function, but somehow his dick was able to squirt out vampire sperm? That is physically impossible, according to the type of vampire Meyer writes about. It's an all or nothing deal: either his whole body works or none of it does. He can't just have a penis full of super sperm. Aside form that, the characters are inconsistent. Explain to me why, in the first book, Bella cries over a hand injury during the climax, but doesn't make a sound when she is turned into a vampire? That makes absolutely no sense. I have a theory though: Meyer imagined herself more and more as Bella and wanted her to be perfect. The more the series went on, the more "perfect" Bella got. Unlike Meyer, J.K Rowling is a great writer. She uses literary devices, is witty, and imaginative. She lets the reader figure out a lot of the books and although she leaves some questions up to us, she still manages to make them satisfying and complete. She created her own world, with rules and laws. That takes talent and intelligence. Meyer took an old legend and put them in high school. Virtually no creativity.

10. Meyer stole Twilight from other books. Go read The Vampire Diaries by L.J. Smith. (Which, for you slow ones, was written BEFORE twilight.)

11. Bella is a whiny bitch! She hates her new town because it's "too wet" and is a jerk to all the people who try to be nice to her. I really, really hate her.

12. Don't even get me started on the movies…

13. It took Meyer five years to write Twilight. It took Rowling five years to write the outline for Harry Potter. Hmm…

14. Harry Potter provides the ultimate villain. He's the guy we love to hate. Twilight gives us the usual evil greedy cliché villain. In HP, we dive into Voldemort's past and delve out his deepest secrets. We almost feel sorry for him and see reason to why he is the way he is. And he is just about as indestructible as you can get. Harry was one badass muthafucka for defeating him.

15. Love is a an important element in both books. In Twilight, is purely romantic. In Harry Potter, however, we see many different forms of love. There is romance, obviously, but there is also something deeper. Love is the ultimate weapon and savior in the books. Lily Potter's love shielded Harry from death, and Voldemort is incapable of defeating it. He is terrified of what he doesn't understand. Love ultimately ends up defeating Voldemort. Bella and Edward's love is mostly lust.

16. Rowling didn't throw a hissy fit when GOF was leaked. She kept on writing. If Meyer really cared about her fans, she would suck it up and finish Midnight Sun.

17. Harry Potter isn't about a girl choosing between Necrophilia and Bestiality. Look it up.

18. Edward stalks Bella in the first book. Looking at her while she sleeps is creepy. No matter which way you spin it, stalking is not romantic.

19. Twilght's fans are bloodthirsty maniacs! Now, I know not all Twilight fans are crazy, but many, many are. And they are all either fifteen year old hormonal girls or fully grown soccer moms who think like fifteen year old hormonal girls. If you like Twilight and you're a guy, you're gay. I don't mean that in a derogatory sense, I mean it in a you-want-to-hold-your-testicles-against-another-man's-testicles-while-gripping-fistfulls-of-chest-hair kind of way.*

20. Harry Potter will withstand the test of time. Twilight is a passing fad.

So what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Why? Tell me please! I'll be happy to debate!

*Stole that line from The Oatmeal: How Twilight works.