Dinner with Gingers

by 'Spirit of Eowyn'

Rated PG


In search of 'ethnic' food, the Doctor, Amy and Rory run into refugees of a species he hasn't seen in a while.

A/N: Thank you Wiki for information on Pythia, Karn and DWCanon_ Fodder for more information on Gallifreyan foods.

Chapter One.

Some adventures begin with running, others begin with the want of food, this was one of the later.

"Come along Pond, Rory." The Doctor ushered Amy and Rory out of the TARDIS before locking the door. "Welcome to Therexo, restaurant capitol for the undecided in the universe. It boosts every kind of food any planet has ever invented, guaranteed to fulfill any craving, or your next two meals are free."

He turned to Amy and Rory, her recent revelation, and coming to her senses warranted a celebratory meal. His eyes were challenging. "So, What are you hungry for?"

"Italian?" Rory offered.

"E-talian. Etalian!" The Doctor scoffed. " Rory Williams, You could pick any kind of meal in the entirety of creation, the whole of time and space and you pick one thats found on almost every street corner of every planet that does business with the Great Human Empire. Where's your sense of adventure?"

"When it comes to food?" Rory frowned.

Amy pointed at a random name on the endless display list of restaurant names on Therexo.

The Doctor squinted down at it. "Mm. No. Best not. Not made for fragile human digestive systems. Don't think your stomach acids could handle dreig friln worms crawling around inside." He pointed his finger at them and commanded them like they were likely to choose otherwise. "No worms!"

Rory looked horrified. "No, probably not." He shook his head. "Definitely not."

"Come on Doctor," Amy said impatiently. "It's not like we know any non Earth food- hey! What about your homeworld Doctor? You look human enough, food couldn't be that bad. I bet Timelords have bigger on the inside fried icecream or something."

"You look timelord, not the other way around," The Doctor corrected automatically and then he frowned. " No, no Gallifrey now, no Gallifrey themed restaurants...although I could always ask and get a free dinner or two..."

"That's the spirit!" Amy said patting him on the back.

The Doctor led them into an elevator and typed in the standard spelling for Gallifrean Spiced Fish Tongue.

"I want that." He crossed his arms and hit the button.

The machine binged.

"You have selected Karnese Food. Only one restaurant serves it. Click here to visit Pythia's Choice." A pleasant electronic voice rung.

"Blimey!" The Doctor stepped back.

Amy hit the button and they flew to the left for about fifteen minutes. Amy and Rory cuddled together in one corner as the Doctor paced in astonishment. Pacing helped him think. Amy nuzzled Rory's nose and smiled.

Oh Lovely, the Doctor thought. Just what he needed- being the third wheel on his own adventures.


The elevator finally opened and they found themselves in a marble grotto in the center of which was a decorative pool with a large golden red flame coming out of the center of it.

He couldn't imagine that one of the Pythia had survived, let alone to run a restaurant. However whomever thought they knew what Karnese ate at least had the Sacred Flame thing going for them.

A redheaded human looking teenage girl in a dark red robe approached them. "Welcome to Pythia's Choice, home of one of the only Karn, Wyoming restaurants still in existance!" She rattled off.

"Wyoming? Karn's a planet!" The Doctor blurted out loudly in an offended manner at about the same time Rory whispered to Amy "Isn't Wyoming in America?"

Amy nodded to Rory.

"Burgers and fries, Burgers with bacon. Now that's alien food I can go for." Rory looked pleased.

The teenager looked at the Doctor for thirty seconds before sticking out her nose and sniffing around him, eyes becoming wider. She was probably an adult by human standards. "It is a planet, not a lot of people know that. So we usually refer to our settlement on Earth that Was, you know after during the war." She turned to Rory and Amy. "Nice planet Earth. Especially those Northern Islands, yeah?" She slapped Rory on the back smiling in that 'I'd like a tip' manner.

She sniffed again. "Oh! A Timelord!" She turned to the Doctor eyes very wide. "We haven't had a timelord in years!" She gestured towards the entrance and announced herself to the building with a "Mum, we're got a Timelord!"

She turned around and gestured to a nice big table to sit at and turned to Rory. "And yes, we have large bacon cheeseburgers too."

Rory smiled. Amy glared at him and he dropped his would be high five hand.

In the background the Doctor heard some music that seemed vaguely familiar. He tried to remember his trip to Karn. Had it been like this? He remembered an old woman and youth potion and winning.

"So what kind of drinks can I start you out with?"

"Who are you?" The Doctor asked with a confused look on his face.

"I'm Allison and I'll be your server today." She rattled off like any full time waitress, pulling out three large dark red Tablets, two of which she tapped the language selection on before handing them out. "English, I presume."

"Yeah." Rory said without thinking. Amy poked him. "Scottish."

Their waitress frowned "I don't think we have it translated into that language. Will English do?"

"It's fine." The Doctor answered for them.

"So, Drinks." Allison cleared her throat.

"Water." Rory answered to the waitresses obvious dismay.

"Do you really have the juice of a Fretwo fruit?" The Doctor asked.

"Yes, sir." She nodded.

"But, how?" He asked.

"It's fresh squeezed from our garden."

"Oh, well, then I'll have that."

"Amy?" The Doctor asked.

"Yeah, so, This Anin fruit smoothie, does it taste good to humans?"

"Yes Ma'm. If you have any questions about favorite meals for humans just … ask." She turned to the Doctor like he was a curiousity. "So which one are you? You all had such funny names... The Rani?"


"Um, The" Allison airquoted. "Master."


"That one nice blonde timelord?"

"Which one?" The Doctor had been blonde once.

"Never mind."

"Romana?" Allison guessed. The Doctor gaped. Taking that as an admission Allison Continued. " Oh, Romana, your regeneration has gone horribly wrong!"

"I'm not a woman!" The Doctor said adamantly.

"You never know, you could have been." She looked him up and down suspiciously. "Uh, You're not Rassilon are you?"


"Oh good," She pointed at a small sign at the door. " We have a policy to refuse service to any regeneration of his. "

"Why?" Amy asked.

"He overthrew our government, basically destroyed our planet, genetically re-engineered our people and made us refugees you get the picture." Allison waved her hands like it was old news.

Amy's eyes widened.

"So, that would make you, ah, the popular one, gah," Allison kept snapping her fingers. "Ah! The Doctor!"

"Yes." The Doctor said flabbergasted.

"Ah, I'll go get your drinks." Allison headed towards the kitchen. Right before she became lost to their view.

A tall rotund middle aged looking woman in a yellow apron came from the kitchen area. "What was that Sweetie?"

"Timelord." She pointed.

"Really? It's been a while." The woman rubbed her hands on her apron and smoothed her reddish blonde hair down. She squinted at their table and took a deep breath with her nose and then seemed to taste the air. "Nope, just the Doctor." She went back inside the kitchen, and continued mumbling something about a debt.

The Doctor tried not to be offended. Just the Doctor? He was a most impressive Timelord.

Allision came back with a Tray that held their drinks. "Here you go, Smoothie for the lady." She said cheerfully. " Juice for the native." She turned to Rory with long suffering. "And water."

"Thank you." Amy said automatically.

"So, have you given any thought to a main dish?"

"What are these 'Vitimay Cubays?'"

"Vitamin Cubes?" The Waitress asked. "Oh, you don't want to eat that, It's rubbish food, we only keep it for the really nostalgic Timelords, or people we don't like. They were all the uncreative rage for centuries on Gallifrey." their waitress made a face.

"They weren't so bad." The Doctor disagreed unconvincingly.

"Then I can put you down for a dozen?" Her hand was poised over her notepad.

"Um,eh, yeah."

Amy's eyes burned. "What I don't get is, we were looking for TimeLord food, and we got sent to a restaurant for the planet Karn. Why would they serve your kind of food if they don't even seem to really like Timelords? " She turned on the Doctor expectantly. "Doctor."

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Yes, well."

He hasn't told you?" Allison turned to Amy. " Karn and Gallifrey- they're in the same stars system. My people were originally from Gallifrey until, we were overthrown and ditched off on Karn." She spoke of it the way Martha Jones would speak of American slavery.

"So, wait-" Amy looked from the Doctor to the waitress. " You're the same species. All this time you've been going on about being the Last of your species and-"

"We are not the same." He objected.

"We're sooo not."Alison objected. "I don't change faces."

"But you're from the same planet.-" Amy argued.

"His people stayed with the Evil Traitor of Pythia, and were genetically altered, our ancestors might have been the same but I'm no timelord." The teenager made a face.

"Different." The Doctor nodded.

Amy rolled her eyes.

"So, entrees." Allison pulled her stylus out from behind her ear.

"I'd like that big bacon cheeseburger, with the chips, and the cheese sauce..." Rory ordered enthusiastically.

"Alright." Allison scribbled.

"Tafelshrews with roasted mushrooms, and 3 vitamin cubes." The Doctor ordered.

Amy looked quite unsure. It had taken Rory nearly dying for her to decide that yes she did want to marry her finacee she had known most of her life, deciding on dinner might take a while. "Mmm. What about dactyl egg omelet marinaded in schlenk blossoms? Is that human compatible?"


"Schlenk blossoms?" The Doctor perked up. " Those are my favorite- smell lovely. Do you have anything else with them in it?"

"We have a Schlenk Dessert..." Alison offered.

"I'll take one."

"Very, good. I'll just put in your order." And off she went to the kitchen.

Rory looked at the Menu before asking. "How much is 50 credits?"

"You don't want to know."