It wasn't something neither of the two would freely admit, simply because the concept was too hard for either to swallow, or even contemplate. Tension curled up deep inside the intertwined bodies, the agitation mirrored in each other's eyes as they fought to seek the upper hand, refusing to show submission or even the slightest hint of weakness.
A gasp escaped the blonde's parted lips as a nervous shiver ran from the base of his spine and spread warmly into the pit of his belly, his muscles and jaw clenching, bracing himself for what was to come next.
The smirk that lingered on his partner's sinful lips could not have been a good sign – his amusement had always leaned on the perverse side after all. "Iza-ya-kuun.", he bit out through gritted teeth; the blonde's quick temper already at the breaking point – he was clearly not in the mood for teasing tonight.
The man kneeling in front of him dared another tease: "Stop angsting, Shizu-chan." The informant breathed out as a pink tongue peeked as if to lick his lips in anticipation. Shizuo wanted to fling the man's slight form against the opposite wall, if just to remove the indifference in those cold, unfeeling eyes.
The brunette, however, noticed the slight change in the blonde's affect, noting the anger and power held by a thin strand of patience, and he couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive and excited at the same time.
Bending his head, coating the angry organ with his tongue' wetness, Izaya could only wonder with awe how he found himself in this position again and again. He concluded, as he began to move his head and take more of Shizuo in his throat, that he may just find it too tempting to see Shizuo's pleasure mixed in with the bitterness of being totally under his control – in times like this, at least.
It was something he couldn't possibly get tired of, the wine colored eyes taking in the sight of the blonde's lips parted in pleasure, feeling the hands tighten in his hair, pulling at his scalp. There was nothing calm about Shizuo's expression as he rolled his hips forward into the wet heat – and the informant took it all in with glee. Taking comfort in the fact that he could make Shizuo look so desperate was something he tended to indulge in, and he rewarded the blonde's makeshift honesty by humming, further exciting the man.
Izaya suddenly found himself flung unceremoniously on the bed, Shizuo's hand clamping on his nape to pull their lips together, his tongue demanding entrance to mate with the informant's and in the overhead mirror above them, Izaya could see the stark contrast of his dark locks to his partner's pale ones.
Discontent was evident in both men's eyes when they pulled away, gasping for air, their mouths parting with a smacking sound. Shizuo grinned with confidence, pleased that he was finally able to wipe away the nonchalant expression on the man lying below him. It wasn't that he lacked either confidence or courage. He was just pleased to be able to make Izaya show other emotions and no amount of melancholy could take away the giddy feeling.
A hand snaked inside the black shirt, the fingertips ghosting over the pale skin, tweaking the nubs on Izaya's chest – and Shizuo did not feel any disappointment at the muffled groan he got in response. He wanted more – and more – of the moans and sighs and he knew just how to get them.
He latched on to the informant's chest, his tongue laving the peaks, his saliva glistening wetly, lewdly leaving a trail leading to Izaya's belly and as he surveyed his handiwork, he couldn't find the image repulsive nor disgusting in any way.
Quite the opposite, he wanted to mess up the man more – he would never stop until the informant would be reduced to a satisfied perverted mess – his desire was so strong, sometimes even more powerful than his anger, that it scared him at times.
What Shizuo secretly took delight in was that even in bed, neither of them would admit defeat; this much was evident when Izaya started to fondle him, wanting to draw out the similar reaction as experienced hands kneaded the angry flesh coaxing a response.
He was rewarded with a grunt and the blonde's teeth biting a little too hard on his neck, obviously pleased with his ministrations and Izaya secretly took an immense excitement at this show of Shizu-chan's desire, who was already fumbling with his pants and underwear, flinging them away to some forgotten corner.
The informant arched his back off the bed, euphoria coloring his cheeks, when he felt the hot hand clamp down on his cock, finally getting the attention it demands. Izaya could feel no trace of embarrassment at how much he loved this, this erection already dripping wet, leaving a sticky trail of arousal down his length to between his legs. Nor could he ever get tired of this, the feeling of ennui always held away by the fact that it would always be a struggle between the two of them, hence the unpredictability of every encounter.
"You got to taste me earlier, I'm envious." Shizuo rasped out, surprised he could still form coherent thoughts and words. The warning barely registered in Izaya's brain before he felt the hot mouth clamp on his cock, the blonde's throat fully enveloping him, swallowing him – and he could only curl his toes against the sheets, lost in ecstasy.
Desire and desperation were lost in the other, almost indiscernible, and the sheer force of it would scare any other people; but not Izaya, who took it all in stride, refusing to show weakness or admit defeat to the other. He even wanted more; he bent his legs and parted them further exposing himself, his frustration evident in the way his features were twisted as if in pain and his mouth was parted -forgetting to swallow – a trickle of saliva leading from his mouth to his jaw, his hips thrusting awkwardly into Shizuo's mouth.
With a sucking sound, the blonde let go of the glistening erection, the expression of glee unmasked on his face as he took in the informant's desperate expression. There was an indistinct feeling of elation –almost akin to happiness – as he looked down at the man below him. He would not go so far as to call it gratitude though, at being able to possess this man under him. But there was there a niggling sense of grief as they both fought over dominance, stemming from the thought that he would never be able to fully possess the man writhing underneath him. The blonde pushed it away with a hint of guilt for feeling that way.
They hated each other – both of them knew and acknowledged that undeniable truth – like it was an unspoken contract between them. There was no use trying to milk crumbs of happiness from these encounters – such attempts were futile in the face of constant power struggles between them.
This was what the blonde rationalized at the back of his mind as he slid his erection inside the tight wet heat like a wayward prodigal man desperate for small vestiges of home. Trivial thoughts such an honor and pride however, were lost to either man as Shizuo pulled out and sank back in, earning a torn cry from the informant's lips.
It was too much to hope for such an impossible flight of fancy to come true; he mulled again as his ears took in Izaya's strangled gasp for more and the way lithe thighs slid around his hips, pulling him closer. As he happily obliged the demand, pushing deeper and harder to push against the spot that would drive the uke crazy, the horror of his half-conscious thoughts and their implications washed over him. A wave of uncalled-for humility soon followed, realizing that it was best to never presume – it would simply mean his defeat.
"Shizu-cha- haaaah, MORE!" the informant demanded and the blond reiterate in his mind that it was not joy that he felt at having Izaya so pliable in his hands. "Dammit, Shizu-chan.", the brunette panted out, "I'm almost at the point of being jealous of your being on top so snap out of it before I do something that will make you sor- ahhhhh!" That ought to shut him up, Shizuo thought with a malicious smile that mirrored the cruelty of each thrust he made inside the man, without any trace of kindness evident in each roll of his hips.
If one would think of it, such encounters – tolerating each other for the mere physical satisfaction – is a lonely kind of relationship, the kind that runs solely on its own momentum until it burns itself out having nothing else to propel it forwards. Such a relationship could not encompass love either, the idea had never even occurred to the two. But of course, these were lost to either participant of this perverse relationship, lust being their main focus and drive. Whatever feelings they harbor towards the other, neither would freely admit, neither would they voice out any misplaced feelings of wanting their feelings reciprocated, having never acknowledged such feelings in the first place.
Shizuo didn't realize he had paused once again and he was taken by surprise when he was unceremoniously flung to the bed, the delicious pressure and tightness gone from his cock; he found himself looking up to a desperate Izaya, no semblance of modesty left in him. The blond had to swallow nervously at the sight, echoes of the informant's previous warning sounded alarm bells in his mind and suddenly, he knew.
"No. NO!" Shizuo rasped out but he was already on his stomach, the switchblade at his throat – Izaya had taken advantage of the moment's confusion to grab it from the bedside table. The blonde turned his head to shoot an almost desperate plea to the brunette but there was a twisted nostalgic expression on the other's face, looking as if he was savoring – no, memorizing – this scene unfolding before him.
Nothing prepared him for the pain; his knees threatened to give way and there was a horrible pressure searing the base of his spine, shooting upwards through frayed nerve endings as Izaya slid the head of his cock in. The brunette tossed his knife to the side, deciding it was no longer needed; he was obviously not in a patient mood as he forcibly pushed in further, relishing the blood stained sheets from where Shizuo had bit his lip from stopping himself from crying out. Completely sheathed inside the blonde, Izaya paused, chest heaving, happy to note that the anger flashing in the other's eyes was the complete opposite of the peaceful contentment he saw reflected there earlier.
He smirked. "I do hope this doesn't make you develop some mistaken sense of phobia, Shizu-chan." Izaya drawled out lazily. "Shut up and finish what you starte – hgnnnnn." Shizuo's teeth clamped down on his tongue because Izaya chose that very moment to pull out and plunge back in, the brunette's movements slowing down a bit as he noticed the pained gasps escaping the blonde's. "I can slow down if you want m-" It was Izaya's turn to take in a startled breathe as Shizuo moved his hips swallowing him hotly – his pride demanded that if Izaya can take it, so can he.
There was a momentary flicker of sadness in the wine colored eyes as he realized that even at this point, it was still about one-upmanship, never admitting defeat to the other. But the thought was soon pushed away, the informant's schadenfreude nature taking over as he delighted in the mixture of Shizuo's pained and pleasured moans that he knew went against the other man's seme nature.
More heat pooled in Izaya's groin as he watched the blonde take hold of his own cock, pumping it in time to his own thrusts up the man's ass, pleased to notice that there was no hint of self-pity. Nor was there any shame in Shizuo's voice as he urged Izaya to hurry the fuck up. Obviously, he was no longer shy in his new temporary role as uke, his senses all centered in the need for release, his hips meeting each of Izaya's thrusts forward with a backward motion of his own.
Izaya could feel the tightening in his balls signaling the coming release, he was almost sad and sorry that it was soon to end. Shizuo gave a strangled moan of shock as Izaya abused his prostate, wanting him to reach his orgasm as well. The mini explosion caught them both by surprise, as if they were too busy wanting to control the urge that it was already upon them before they were aware of it. There was the small delicious moment of suspense as a feeling of lightness traveled down their spine and up their legs to concentrate where they were connected before it imploded, overwhelming the two.
They separated and fell to the bed, out of breath, chests heaving with exertion as they took in gulps of air – both seeing the terror mirrored in the other's eyes - Something is different, but what?
With one last bruising kiss, Shizuo sat up on the bed, hiding the wince that reached his face as his ass hit the bed, making Izaya feel maybe - a little guilty, a little unhappy at Shizuo's words that followed. "There won't be a next time, flea." But the thing that made Izaya really disgruntled was why was he so affected by what Shizuo said and why was he worrying about it? It's all about the power play, damn it!
Kukuku. If it sounds so horribly disjointed, it's because this was written for the "73 Emotion Challenge" on SHINE. The prompt was to write one sentence for every emotion and work through a list. -Touchdown!
* #63 Schadenfreude - enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.