Title: one fine night in dc
Series: Hetalia
Character/Pairing: Greece/Japan, America, Netherlands
Rating: PG-13
Author's note: kink meme: this one Character A/B/C condom shopping shenanigans prompt.


Really, it should have been a simple excursion. Go to a convenience store, pick up the necessary supplies and continue on with what they had been doing before realizing the...shortage. Japan was beginning to think he should have gone alone. The thing was, Greece didn't use condoms. Somehow he'd never managed to have issues with illegitimate children or diseases despite this. Perhaps as Greece asserted, the gods really did like him. However, Japan liked things clean. And since Greece was hurt when Japan went straight to the lavatory to wash himself after sex, they had made a compromise: If Greece would wear condoms, Japan wouldn't immediately rush to bathe.

And so far, the compromise had gone fine, except that they kept running out at inopportune times. Of course, they often went for long periods of time without seeing each other, and given Greece's libidinous ways, when they met up a great deal of their time was spent horizontal. Or vertical. Or bent over things...

So it happened that now, with both of them staying in America's land in the same city for different reasons, they were spending a lot of time together. The shipping and commerce reasons which they were supposed to be attended to were sadly forgotten. They'd found out in the middle of some heavy foreplay that they'd run out of condoms.

Greece so was dedicated to keeping Japan feeling more hygienic and less likely to head straight to scrub himself clean that he was willing to stop what they were doing just to find what they needed.

And so it was they were here, looking through varieties in a convenience store. The lighting was harsh here, florescent and not flattering. Greece still looked good under this sort of lighting. There were a few women who passed him admiring glances, but Greece seemed not to notice. He was probably used to it by now.

Japan looked for a bit more lube to ensure they didn't run out of that as well. He was trying not to peek and steal glances at Greece. He was, admittedly, still quite aroused and a little frustrated. He wanted to make this transaction as quick as possible. At this point, Japan was willing to do it with Greece in a dirty alley if it meant getting rid of this gnawing sexual frustration.

Greece had several boxes in his hands, and he was looking from one to another, frowning in confusion.

"There's so many..." Greece said. "This one has neon colors. This one is supposed to taste like pie. This one glows in the dark. This one is 'ribbed for her pleasure'...I suppose we don't need tht one..."

"I suppose not," Japan conceded.

Greece looked thoughtful and philosophical, as if he were debating the meaning of life and condom choices. Greece often got philosophical on little things. Moussaka, cats, and how they made up the meaning of life. He'd even had Greece once go philosophical on the faces Japan made during sex.

"How can something so small prevent STDs? Then again, how can something so small cause STDs?" Greece asked. To him, it seemed a rhetorical question. Greece was prone to asking unanswerable, rhetorical questions at times. To these, Japan would simply find a way to agree without really adding to the discussion, lest Greece be at it for all day trying to piece together the puzzle.

"If it's small, then you're doing it wrong," said a voice. There was America. He winked and grabbed the biggest size they had, and the smallest size they had respectively.

"Oh, America-san– I didn't expect to see you here," Japan said, more than a little dismayed. He had lectured himself that it would be improbable for America-san to find this exact store, and yet, perhaps the idea of putting on hoodies was one they should've followed.

Japan bit back the knee-jerk it's not what you think reaction. There really was no excusing this. They were buying condoms together. There was just no saying it's for my sister or I'm doing this for a friend.

"This is...Greece," Japan said. He couldn't quite bring himself to say my boyfriend, my lover or any of the other terms associated with it.

"Yeah, I know. I see him all the time in summits," America said. He stopped and seemed to suddenly take notice of where they were, and what Greece was looking at.

"Congratulations! It's about time you got laid," America said. He clapped both Greece and Japan on the shoulders. Greece just looked up at him, while Japan flinched and slowly moved away from the contact.

"So..you're here with your... lover as well?" Japan asked. He eased himself out of America's grip as politely as possible. Greece made no move to dislodge where America had thrown his arm over his shoulder.

"Nope, I'm just sending this to a little friend." He held up the smaller brand with a mischievous grin.

Greece tilted his head. "How does one judge condom size in the first place? Do they have you try them on? And do you return them if they're too small or too big?"

"Greece doesn't use forms of contraceptives very often," Japan cut in. "He's...new to this."

"Well, if it's too small you could always give it to someone else. Me, I'm mailing this stuff to Russia, without love." He smirked, and gave them a passing wave with a see ya as he went off to buy.

"...I wonder if any of these brands have cats on them," Greece said.

"Let's just take these—" Japan grabbed the nearest condoms he saw, which happened to be the lubricated variety.

There was only one clerk on tonight, and America-san was in front of them in line. He had picked up quite a few other treats during that time, and now the counter was filled with beef jerky strips and candy.

"I'll take these for me, and these for a friend!" America said as he whipped out the condoms.

The night clerk was sitting with his feet up, smoking despite the no smoking sign, and flipping through a magazine entitled Barely Legal Girls. He looked up, annoyed.

"Compensating for something?" He said with a smirk.

"I told you, there for a friend!" America said. "If anything he's compensating for something."

"Netherlands-san? I didn't expect to see you here," Japan said.

"I could say the same for you," he said.

"Seriously, what ARE you doing working as a night clerk here in DC?" America said.

Netherlands shrugged. "I lost a chugging match with your brother."

America laughed. "That's my bro! He can chug like it's nobody's business."

"But, why would that lead to you becoming a night clerk?" Greece asked. He scratched his head and tried to piece together how point a lead to point b. Japan pitied him. He'd long ago realize that when it came to people, logic often must be discarded in explaining their actions. Greece still tried to put a philosophical bent on things, though.

Netherlands shrugged again. "I think he watched Clerks a few too many times."

Greece put the package of condoms and lube on the counter to be rung up.

"About time you got laid," Netherlands said.

"That's what I said," America agreed.

Japan was staring at the wall as if it was incredibly fascinating. Greece was nonplused.

"He's been laid before," he said.

Japan's face flushed hotter.

"Well, he needed more. That'll be $14.63."

Greece fished a crumpled twenty out of pocket and paid. America had already wandered off without a goodbye, presumably to package or use what he had bought. Japan let out a long breath when they finally finished and went out the automatic doors and onto the wet pavement.

"That was awkward," he sighed.

"You didn't deny it," Greece said. He was smiling so tenderly, Japan felt his heart skip a beat.

He hadn't technically said it either. But, he supposed, it was a start. He didn't say anything, just smiled back Greece's way which was almost shy. Really, he was much too old to be feeling shy.

Greece had his hand stretched out. He never pushed Japan when it came to public displays of affection. He was respectful, and kept his distance. Well, at least when Turkey-san wasn't involved, then he would become possessive. (Japan had to admit he found Greece's possessive side a bit...alluring.)

But no one was looking, and frankly, even despite all the humiliation they'd (or at least he)had been through in the past fifteen minutes, Japan craved the contact. Besides, if it was Greece, he didn't mind the touch.

Japan took his hand and they walked through the empty streets.