A/N I really don't know what to say so I just hope you like it even though it didn't turn out nearly as good as I wanted it. If you don't like Doctor/Rose centered stuff I suggest you leave now, same as if you don't like really dramatic stories or really depressed Doctor.
Summary: Alternate ending to "the Satan Pit." They didn't have the chemical that knocked Rose out so she stayed behind on the planet but the Doctor didn't know and did everything the same way. Doctor/Rose. ONE-SHOT. ASSUME THAT ONE OF THE OTHERS KILLED TOBY/SATAN
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own any rights to Doctor Who so this is my only outlet. Please don't sue :)
"Now, first things first, have you got a Rose Tyler on board?" His cheerful voice filtered through the comm. and the two of them looked at each other, hesitating as neither wanted to say what had to be said.
"Doctor… I'm so, so sorry but… she wouldn't come with us and we didn't have any choice." There was silence over the comm., not even the Doctor's breath was heard. "Doctor? She just refused; she said she wouldn't leave you. Doctor?" They both heard the strangled, muffled sob and then the Doctor took a deep breath, voice deceptively steady as he spoke.
"I've got Ida, come on board to get her." With that he cut off the communication link and the ship shuttered to a stop. They looked at each other and both stood, silently making their way out the back of the ship and meeting the other man at the entrance of the TARDIS.
He handed her to them in silence and they could see the effort he was going through to keep the tears and emotions back. He turned back to the TARDIS.
"Doctor," Zach called. The man stopped but didn't turn. "Who are you?" he asked, unable to let go of his curiosity.
The mysterious man's posture dropped in defeat and they could see his hands clench into tight fists. His voice was soft and painful when he spoke and his response had them wondering just how long he would survive once they were gone.
"I'm no one… not anymore. And Rose… she was the most brilliant, amazing person you will ever meet." He slammed the doors of the TARDIS behind him, not waiting for their answer, walking over to the console and sending the TARDIS into the time vortex. As soon as the shaking stopped he lent heavily against the control panel of the rotor, head drooped low, his whole body shaking as silent, unobserved tears rolled like rivers down his devastated face.
After only a few seconds the pressure became too much for him to stand and he fell heavily to the floor, grating cutting into the flesh of his knees going completely unnoticed as he could no longer hold in the immense sobs the wracked his body. His hands came to cradle his head as his body began to rock back and forth in an infinite human reflex.
Her face ran through his head, the last time he heard her voice pleading with him, afraid. He can imagine her unwavering loyalty and love as she refused to get onboard the ship and he couldn't stand it, almost hated her for it. He never deserved such a thing and now she was gone and he was alone, again.
He stayed like that, for how long he couldn't tell, even his sense of time almost nonexistent, not seeming to matter.
He pulled himself up and set the co-ordinates, listlessly dressing into his usual suit, a few minutes later exiting the TARDIS and muttering the three most disgusting words he wished he would never have to say to anyone, let alone Jackie Tyler.
"Rose is dead." It was harsh, emotionless. She yelled and screamed and slapped him. She called him evil, accused him of never caring for her at all, telling him he deserved to die as well. And he stood there. He never moved, never flinched and never broke the cold, emotionless façade that occupied his face, though inside he was screaming even louder than her, hearts stuttering constantly and with such protest that even breathing became a chore.
It was only when, an hour later, he turned and went to enter the TARDIS that she fell silent and reached out, grasping his forearm and spinning him around looking at his face fearfully.
"Don't go, please don't go," she whispered to him, trying to catch his gaze unsuccessfully, because she knew just as well as he did; once he left she wouldn't see him again and it wasn't because he left his companions and their families behind. It was because the look in his eyes told anyone who saw them that he found the value in his own life absent and though he probably wouldn't technically commit an act of suicide he would do nothing to stop his own death, should he be confronted with it.
Jackie's tears still fell but now it was for him as well as her lost daughter. Some part of her still blamed him but she couldn't help thinking of him as one of her own, he had been for quite some time and she understood, when his gaze flickered up to meet hers for a split second, nothing could fix this. His people were gone, his planet was gone and now his love was gone and he hated himself for it.
As he ripped his stare away from hers and marched back into the TARDIS, doors banging with a violence that wasn't there before, she fell to her knees on the living room, unknowingly mimicking his posture from only an hour previous and she mourned the loss of her two children.
A few months later saw an event that would forever change the course of history. For the first time in his long and utterly, unfairly painful life the Doctor was selfish and in that too white room in the middle of Torchwood institute he let himself be pulled into the void, because even nothingness was better than the pain that constituted his life.
But the gods decided to be kind that day and the man who had saved multiple universes countless times was given his reward. And though the world would suffer without him he was in his rightful place of peace and having the greatest adventure of all time, with Rose Tyler in the TARDIS, whom had died at the same time as he drew his last breath.
It was finally as it should be, and with her in his arms once again: he smiled.
A/N So I'd absolutely love to hear what you think! I'm unsure if this turned out any good but I thought I'd just try something different because I don't think I've read anything like this before. So I hope I succeeded, if you didn't like it only comment if you have CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Please review!