A/N (Important! You should read this if you don't want to be confused!): This will be written in the perspective of South Korea! :)
(I'm sorry for spewing out so much Korea/China fics. D: I just love these two so much!)
Here are the names I use for Hong Kong and Taiwan since they don't have real, official names. (The one I use are practically, almost universal though.)
Hong Kong – Xiang
Taiwan – Mei
And also, here are the ages of each even though it'll be shown at one point or the other in this fic. (It's mostly just for me to organize and figure out the age difference when I either do a timeskip or a flashback though, haaa.)
China – 25
Japan – 17
Taiwan – 15
Hong Kong – 14
South Korea – 9
:D Hong Kong is my age here, lol! (I'll be Taiwan's age soon-ish though. XD)
AND ALSO, I am TERRIBLE at math. XD If I made any mathematical errors with the age differences in this story and whatnot, PLEASE DO TELL ME. Hahah. OTL
Warning: Angst. And Jerk!Kiku. I'M SORRY, KIKU-LOVERS. ; w ; I like him too, but yeahh... OTL
Disclaimer: OMG I don't own Hetalia! Isn't that so shocking?
Xiang tells me that there's no such thing as a perfect family. He's fourteen—only five years older than me—and yet he always acts like he knows everything in the world.
He points this out to me when we're sitting on his bunk bed and listening to Kiku and Yao's shouts that are crystal clear even though they're downstairs. I sometimes feel like their shouts rack the walls of our bedroom, and soon the house will collapse—causing our family to fall apart.
I notice that Yao's shouts are angrier, and louder—they sound more infuriated, and frustrated, while Kiku's voice is calmer, quieter, and yet there's still this slight enraged shrill to his voice. So really, it's mostly just Yao shouting, and Kiku responding in a calm, composed manner, and yet still somehow infuriating him—still somehow defying his brother.
This has been getting more and more frequent as the nights drag on, and now I'm really starting to doubt our supposed perfect family. I've told this to Xiang, and that's the response he gives me—there's no such thing as a perfect family, which sounds just about absurd to me since our family was perfect. We were perfect, and well together until Kiku and Yao began to fight more and more often.
Suddenly, our bedroom door creaks open and we see Mei at the doorway, with her pillow tucked under her arm. She closes the door behind her and crawls into Xiang's bottom bunk bed with us, sitting down next to me with her back against the wall as she hugs her pillow.
She doesn't need to ask, and we don't need to say a word. We're used to this now. Ever since Kiku and Yao's fights became more frequent, she's been crawling into our bedroom and sitting down next to us until we either fall asleep, or they stop fighting.
Mei is the oldest of us three—fifteen—and most of the time, she's bossy and dictates us around. Plus, she can be annoying when we need to go out somewhere and she takes literally hours to get ready. (Whenever I point this out to her though, she always snaps that I'm way more annoying than her, which I don't believe at all.)
These nights when she crawls into our room though, she seems so small and so fragile without her nagging, and with her arms hugging her knees. It's not the Mei I've always known. This Mei seems too scared, too quiet, too small.
And it makes me feel even smaller.
Sometimes, Xiang, Mei, and I talk. We quietly talk while they fight outside. Sometimes, we talk about Kiku and Yao, and other times we just talk to forget about their fight just for a little while—to live in a different world just for a little while. Most of the time though, we're silent, as we lean against the wall and just listen to Yao's and Kiku's nightly bickering. They're always the same, all the same. And it's bugging me. It's ruining our perfect family, these fights.
Since Mei is the oldest, and knows better than Xiang and I, I ask her, hoping for a different answer. "Will our family be perfect again?"
She freezes and she turns to me, this pained look on her face. I see her lips forcing a smile though, as she pulls me into her arms and nods. "Yes... soon. Soon, we'll be back to normal again."
I smile as she holds me in her arms, immediately at ease. Yes, Mei promised that we'll be alright. Take that, Xiang.
We'll be the perfect family we were before. And that thought alone eases my worries that builds up every time Kiku and Yao fight.
Every time they do fight, I always blame Kiku. Xiang says that I blame him for everything, but that's because even though everyone thinks I'm the one always causing trouble, it's really Kiku—especially with these stupid fights! If he wasn't so stupid or such a jerk, I just know we'd still be perfect.
In my head, it's never Yao's fault. Never, ever, ever. Yao's the oldest of all of us—twenty five, but he acts fifty oftentimes—and I love him the most. Maybe it's wrong for me to pick favorites out of my own siblings, but I can't help it. I loved him since he brought me into his household, and took care of me. I was smitten since day one.
I never liked Kiku though, and I never will. He always seems to steal Yao all for himself. In the beginning, he stole Yao's attention all the time because he was supposedly oh so perfect and oh so amazing, with his 'perfect' attitude and 'perfect' grades and 'perfect' everything. Then when he hit his mid-teenage years, he caught Yao's attention by being 'rebellious' in Yao's words.
Because of him, it feels like Yao never has any time for me anymore.
And maybe that's what I really hate the most about these fights they have.
Yao and Xiang are the only blood-related siblings in our household.
"Our family is unique, aru!" Yao always says, smiling. And he's right, we're a unique family—with no mother, or father. We only have each other, as siblings, but that suits us just fine.
When Yao was thirteen and Xiang was only two, their parents passed away in a car accident, leaving them as orphans. Their parents though left an enormous fortune, as they were very wealthy. (Yao never tells us exactly how much. All he says that it's enough to last each and every one of us for a lifetime. But then he quickly adds, "That doesn't mean you don't have to work though, aru! I will not tolerate my siblings to be lazy bums, aru!")
Anyways, he wasn't allowed to touch the money until he was eighteen though, so he and his brother were sent to an orphanage.
When Yao turned eighteen, he left the orphanage and of course, took his brother with him. He also took Kiku in too, who became like a second younger brother to him after his parents disowned the Japanese boy and dropped him off at the orphanage.
"I couldn't bear to just leave him there, aru," Yao always claimed proudly. I hated this part—the part when Kiku came into view of Yao's life. He would always smile fondly at the jerk at this part and sometimes even run his hand through the jerk's hair.
Well, with the immense fortune his parents left, he was able to fully support the three of them. Though, since he had to go to university, he hired a temporary housekeeper to take care of the children and tend the house.
About an year later, Yao found Mei sleeping in the streets, looking almost dead. No one dared to give her a second glance, but Yao shook her awake, and asked her where her parents were. She replied—quite indignantly too, yet in a tired voice—that she had no parents, and the Chinese boy, almost a man, took her into his unique family, too.
Yao and Kiku found me only a month after that. I remember this day as clear as daylight, and it's the best day of my life.
I never knew who my parents were. I don't remember their faces at all. As far as I remember, I was always alone, and to this day, I don't know how I survived really at such a young age. Yao suspects my memory was somehow erased—amnesia, somehow—because I didn't remember anything about myself—not even my name, or my age, or anything.
"It's like you fell from the sky!" he always said at this point, and I would always quickly respond, "I fell from Heaven just for you, Hyung!" He would then chuckle fondly at that, and I love, love, love his laugh.
Anyways, they found me when I was crying on the streets, crying because I was clueless and hopeless. I didn't know anything about myself, and I felt like an alien in this world. They asked me if I was lost, and I nodded. They got the idea that I was an orphan too, and took me into their house. I was the last installment to the family.
I remember while I was sniffling through my tears, I looked up at Yao who was holding me in his arms, and murmuring soft, comforting words into my ear. I remember that I immediately loved him. I was only three, and yet the memory's still so vivid too me. I remember I wanted to stay by this man's side forever and ever, and ever. And that was the start of my infatuation for him.
Yao had a skill of telling Asians apart. When he found me, he immediately knew that I was Korean. From that realization, he gave me a Korean name since I didn't know my own.
"Yong-soo," he said, "means brave and great. It seemed to match you from the beginning." And I loved that part the best—the part when Yao reached my name, telling me what it meant, again.
And as the days went on, weeks became months, and months became years. Soon enough, we were comfortable, and extremely close to each other. We really did become a family, despite that there were only two real blood-related siblings here. But even still, Yao and Xiang made us feel like we were their blood-related siblings too.
And I believed our family was unique, but perfect. Of course, we caused trouble and argued, and cried and there were times we held grudges against each other—but that's what all families do, right? And I loved it all. I loved all those small moments with my family.
But it didn't seem to last very long.
Our perfect family seemed to slowly fall apart when Kiku and Yao began to fight.
It eventually crumbled when Kiku left forever.
"Kiku, where are you going, aru?" Yao's voice is calm, and quiet, and so is his indifferent expression. His eyes, on the other hand, gleam with panic as they drop to the dark suitcase in Kiku's hand, who's at the doorway.
I'm on my knees at the top of the staircase, peering from the wall, as I watch Yao and Kiku stand five feet from each other, with Kiku's hand on the doorknob.
My heart hammers against my chest as I watch the scene, my grip on the wall tightening.
"Yong-soo, what are you doing?" I hear Xiang behind me as he peers over the wall too. He freezes when he sees Kiku at the doorway with a suitcase in hand.
"Where is Kiku going?" he asks me quietly. His voice is calm too, but when I look up, his lips are pursed into a thin line, which is what he always does when he's nervous or panicked, since he feels he can never betray emotions.
"I don't know," I respond quietly.
"I decided to move out," Kiku suddenly responds matter-of-factly to Yao, his face betraying no emotions like it's completely normal to be moving out without any early notice. "Is that so wrong?"
Yao's face darkens and his fists clench. "Of course it is, aru! You're only seventeen—still a minor! Where the hell do you think you're going to live now, aru?"
"Oh, you really mustn't worry about me," Kiku says in a mocking tone. "I'll be just fine. Feliciano is moving in with Ludwig and his brother, as I am too right now. Do not bother looking for me though, for we will be on the road."
"No," Yao says firmly as he steps over to the younger, yet slightly taller, boy and takes hold of his arm. "I will not allow you to burden their family like that, aru. You're a part of our family, and it will only be shameful for you to live off them, aru! Besides, where do you think you kids are going to be able to go, aru?"
"Who said we were family?" he immediately sneers, and my breath hitches and the atmosphere seems to thicken.
Mei's bedroom door creaks open suddenly, and Xiang and I turn to her. Her face is pale.
"What's going on?" she asks hoarsely.
"Kiku, that jerk's leaving," I whisper back.
Her eyes widen in horror, and in a heartbeat, she's running down the stairs.
Xiang and I exchange surprised, panicked looks before quickly turning back to the scene downstairs where Mei has reached now.
Yao looks surprised to see her there and lets go of Kiku's arm, but Kiku's face continues to look indifferent.
"Kiku!" she exclaims as she grabs the jerk's arm. "Kiku, don't leave. Where are you going? Don't leave, oh God, please... please don't leave us... I—I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." Even from upstairs, it's clear that she's on the verge of crying, but why she's apologizing is beyond us. She didn't do anything wrong. It's all Kiku's fault!
I turn to Xiang. "Let's go downstairs too!"
"No," he responds firmly as he grabs my shoulder. "We have to stay here."
I scowl at him. "Why?" I hiss. "I want to go yell at that meanie too!"
He gives me this firm look, and says, "By going there, we're only going to cause trouble, Yong-soo."
"Mei," Yao suddenly says calmly, interrupting our argument, "go back to sleep."
"No!" she screams, as she turns to Yao, crying for real now. "No, I won't go back to sleep! Our brother's leaving, and you expect me to sleep? I'm not a child anymore, Yao!"
I turn to Xiang, scowling at him now. "Let me go! Let's go downstairs! We deserve to be there yelling at Kiku-jerk too when he's leaving! You're just a coward, not wanting to face him, Xiang!" I whine.
He scowls back at me, and lets go of my shoulder. "Fine," he mutters. "Let's go, but Gege's only going to get angry when he sees that now everyone's out of bed and making a commotion."
I stick my tongue out at him as I stand up. "We have the right to be making a commotion when our so-called brother is ruining our perfect family by leaving!"
I then run down the staircase, and hear Xiang following me.
Yao looks shocked to see us coming down the stairs, and I immediately tackle him, causing him to stumble back a little, but he doesn't lose his balance completely. He easily catches me, but quickly puts me back onto the floor much to my disappointment.
"Aiyah! Now everyone's here, aru!" Yao groans as he reaches out and places a hand on his forehead before sighing deeply.
"Of course they're here! Our brother is leaving!" Mei snaps irritably, and I notice her cheeks are blotchy, and her eyes are still glazed with tears. She's still holding onto Kiku's arm, like a handcuff, like she's afraid that if she lets go, he'll fly away.
"He's not leaving, aru," Yao says firmly, his eyes now on Kiku. "I won't let you leave. You're a part of our family, whether you like it or not, aru! I have raised you for seven years, and this is what I receive in return, aru?
And anyways, you're only still seventeen! I won't allow you to leave this house until you're eighteen, aru. You're still a minor, and by living with your friends, you will only be bringing shame to yourself and our family! We have a house, we have food to eat, we have clothes. There's no need to for you go living off your friends, aru!"
"I don't think you understand," Kiku says, his face now grim. "I'm leaving because I can't stand being here anymore. I'm different now, can't you see? I'm not the same beloved brother you've known before. People change, you know? And living with my friends is not bringing shame to us, since I'm not a part of this family now."
His words hurt, even if I dislike him. And at that moment, I hate him. I hate him so much. He's a backstabber, a traitor. How dare he leave us like that? It's like the opposite of disowning of a child! In fact, it's like he's disowning us! And after all those years of being an orphan, doesn't he understand that? Doesn't he understand that he's backstabbing us just like how his parents backstabbed him by dropping him off at an orphanage? He's ditching our family to become a part of a different family's and he's not even marrying!
But I can not say anything. I can not insult him, or yell at him. I try to open my mouth and let the words out, but I feel like my voice has left me at that moment. Words can't seem to fall from my lips, for once.
"Kiku..." Mei breathes, and I can tell she's taking this hard—even harder than Yao, maybe. She looks so distraught, and betrayed, her hand slides off Kiku's arm, as quiet tears stream down her cheeks. Seeing my nuna like that hurts so much that I feel like punching Kiku in the mouth for real now. But I know that I'm no match for him. He's seventeen, taller, and stronger. And even though people are always saying how smart he is, I'm really starting to doubt his mentality right now.
Yao sighs heavily. "Kiku... please. Can't we set aside our differences for now, aru? Every family fights, and of course you are changing—you are growing up. That doesn't mean you have to leave us though, aru. Whether you like it or not, we are family, and you leaving just because of our differences is ridiculous, aru!"
Kiku smiles a little, but it's not an amused one. "I wanted to avoid this, but you're right... But right now, I don't think I can live with this 'family' anymore. And anyways, we're not really a family. We're all merely orphans, without any real family, only clinging onto each other for this support system, an excuse of a family. So I don't see why I have to do whatever you say."
Stunned silence follows after, and my hatred and anger seem to worsen. My clenched fists shake, and I don't want to admit it, but tears are threatening to spill from my eyes.
I won't let you see me cry. I won't. I won't. I won't.
And like that, I will myself not to cry—because I can't. Not in front of this jerk.
"If there's nothing else you need to say, I'll be gone now," the jerk finally says, and without even giving us a second glance, without even giving us a proper goodbye, he take his suitcase and exits the house.
And everyone just stands there. We all just stand there, frozen in front of the doorway.
I look up at Yao, hoping that he'd do something, hoping he'd run out the door and get him, because even though I hate Kiku at this moment, without him, our family isn't complete.
But Yao doesn't do anything. He's frozen like the rest of us, with his eyes slightly widened with shock, his eyebrows furrowed, and his chapped lips slightly parted.
And it's Mei who's the first to become unfrozen. Her frozen, shocked expression crumples as tears stream down her cheeks. She falls to her knees, and she's sobbing, bawling. She's crying, and crying, and seeing my nuna cry like that makes me want to cry too because even if she's oftentimes bossy and mean, I love her, and I love Kiku too. Even if he left, even if he betrayed us, even if I'm convinced I hate him, I actually do love him. I love my entire family—our entire family that's unique, but now, it's not perfect.
No, it's probably the furthest thing from perfect now.
A/N: Language Notes: For the sake of this fic, since China and Hong Kong are real life AU bros, let's just say they both speak Mandarin, okay?
Anyways, I am pretty sure that Gege is older brother in Mandarin, but if I am wrong, please do correct me! I am not Chinese, so I don't know a lot of words! ; A ; But I know for sure though that Nuna is older sister and Hyung is older brother in Korean, from a boy's perspective. *This is for those who aren't Korean or Chinese, in case you get confused while reading this story.
Well in any case, review, pretty please? :D