Wynne's Diary

Day 1:

Hey there, journal! Want to get back into the swing of writing so I'm going to start recording my thoughts as much as possible. Am in Ostagar preparing for big battle. I love being around all these young soldiers. All so strong and virile.

There's a particular fellow, v. handsome, good shoulders, but so unsure of himself. Obviously a virgin. This old broad would like to show him a few things.

Day 9:

Met a pretty young Warden today. Ah, I remember what it was like to be that age. If I could have just one day in her body, oh, such things I would do.

Day 11:

Battle was awful! Somehow I survived.

Day 19:

Back at Tower again. Yawn.

Day 24:

The raven-haired battlemage was a strict taskmaster, and with Katya it was no exception. As she failed again to master a simple fire spell, he captured the nubile beauty in his muscular arms and pressed her against the wall. As her lushious red lips parted

Wait… lushious? That's not right. Lushous? Luschious? Damn, now I've lost my flow. Where's my dictionary?

Day 28:

How did I never notice this boy, Cullen? My, but he's got a fine ass.

Day 29:

The flush of his skin matched his curly red locks as the young templar watched the olive-skinned apprentice practicing her force fields. She was so beautiful, he thought. Her brow knit in concentration as she sparkled with magical magic. Sometimes he imagined stepping through those force fields, to hold her in his arms and kiss her with the fullness of his desire. But no, it was wrong, so wrong…

Day 35:

Rejected by Denerim Press again. Bunch of chauvinist cowards. I should use a pseudonym. Wynne is an old lady name.

Day 44:

Uldred has taken over Tower. May not have much time for writing.

Day 45:

Think I died this morning. Crazy! Have erected a magical seal to protect me and a few others from Abominations. Templars have locked us in. I fear the end is near.

Day 52:

Okay, still just hanging here. End not so near after all. Am bored.

Day 57:

The tension was unbroken as the small group of mages held the line against an evil that threatened their home. Days passed into weeks, until finally there were no secrets among them, no separation between their bodies as they sought the comforts of each other's flesh, a teeming mass of desperate sexuality trapped in a prison of stone.

Day 65:

Guess who stopped by! Elissa Cousland and the handsome virgin. Also a hearty Orlesian lass. We're going to go kill Uldred. Kind of stoked about it.

Day 72:

Success! Have decided to help these Wardens save Ferelden. She has several other friends: one apostate (disapprove), a horny elf (disapprove), a dog (ah), and a qunari (have a curious urge to knit him something). Still hoping to score with Alistair. Fingers crossed.

Day 85:

Elissa and the horny elf. Doing the hot nasty. I strongly disapprove!

Alistair is heartbroken, poor dear. He must feel spurned. Like he's just taken a big blue lyrium potion but now he's got no one to cast spells in. Such unspent power bubbling up inside him, yearning for release. I should go talk to him.

Day 98:

Have arrived in Orzammar. Warden picked up a colorful chap who seems to be knackered all the time. Warden is an enabler, keeps giving him alcohol. May have to stage an intervention.

Day 101:

Oghren has fabulous ale. Intervention postponed.

Day 133:

Went back to Ostagar today. Made a pass at Alistair, didn't work out. Seems to think of me as his grandmother. Oh well.

Found Cailan's body. He and Alistair look so alike, I can't believe I never noticed. As we took his body down, I closed my eyes and thought, yes, it was just as in my dreams. To hold his firm young flesh in my arms, kiss his smooth skin, rest my face in the hollow of his shoulder.

Except in my dreams he was alive and didn't smell so bad.

Day 141:

Horny elf keeps talking about my breasts. Ugh. Not touching that one. No telling where he's been.

Day 145:

Retrieved the Urn of Sacred Ashes today. What an amazing experience. To be proven worthy in a test of courage, wits, and honor. To stand before a relic lost for centuries, a relic so powerful it could heal a man beyond the reach of magic. I am humbled beyond words.

Also, got to see Alistair naked. He he he.

Day 154:

Maker, it's been a really long time. Reconsidering the horny elf.

Day 169:

Alistair killed Loghain today. The boy has such strong arms. Yes, still carrying that torch. Elissa passed him off to Anora like a pair of unwanted slippers, foolish bint.

Day 174:

Spending the night in Redcliffe Castle tomorrow. Love it there. Always nice to see Teagan.

Day 175:

The dashing bann opened the door just wide enough to slip quietly into the spare bedroom. When he lit a candle, he discovered his error: it was not his servile mistress sleeping there, but instead a gray-haired mage. When she awoke, surprised but not afraid, the bann decided that he would not seek his young strumpet. Tonight he would trade secrets with a woman of experience.

Day 176:

Heard Alistair made love to the apostate last night. Should be angry, perhaps scandalized, but finding that I understand. Might die tomorrow, and we're all scared, seeking the company of people we would normally avoid. Like Oghren.

Yeah… that happened. Was v. drunk.

Going after the Archdemon today. Hoping hangover doesn't affect my casting. If I don't survive, somebody send my manuscript back to Denerim Press. Might be worth more if I'm dead.

Day 179:

Archdemon caused us a bit of trouble. Thought Elissa was dead for a minute, but then she jumped right up before I got a chance to heal her and stabbed it to death. So, Blight's over, congrats all around.

Alistair looks smashing in his golden armor, and the apostate seems to have disappeared, so that door's open again! Going to hang out in the castle for a while, in case he needs me.