Hi guys! Well, this is actually the first fanfic in English I publish. I've written so many, but never wanted to publish them... well, now I decided that 'til I try, I'll never improve my writing! So this is just an experiment- nothing special... as far the language is concerned, just let me know if it sounds weird or if there are grammar or spelling mistakes... (I hope not too many...)
Anyway, writing about my favourite pairing is always pleasant, in my mother tongue or not... ^-^
So... enjoy it, and let me know what you think about it!
Light presses the pillow on his head, sinkin under the sheets.
It's impossible for him to escape the familiar noise which keeps him awake night after night.
Tick, tick, tick.
The harder he presses the pillow on his ears, the louder it seems to get.
Maybe that's because the noise has gotten into his head by now. He can hear it while he's walking, showering, eating, sleeping, dreaming... anytime. The harder he tries not to think about it, the louder it ticks in his head.
Light glances at the clock on his bedside table. It's 3.27 a.m. He snorts and turns to see his captor.
He's sitting with his legs crossed and a pillow on his lap, with his laptop on it, his raccoon-like eyes staring at something on the screen.
He's always like this, always staring at something. He never only 'looks' at anything, he stares.
Light takes a few seconds to observe him. He can see him biting his lower lip in the dim light coming from the screen.
- Hey. You're awake.
So typical of him. He never asks dull questions such as 'Are you awake?'. Of course you're awake if you're staring at him.
- I cannot sleep with that endless ticking noise you make.
- Uh. Sorry.
Anyway he shows no intention to stop.
Light snorts and squirms under the sheets. He feels oddly tense. He's looking at the ceiling now, his own heavy breaths are the only noises in the room, besides the ticking on Ryuzaki's keyboard.
- 'r you alright Light-kun?
- Uhm... yeah. I'm just tired.
- Then sleep.
- I just... I can't. It's as if...
Light pulls himself up on his elbows .
- As if I'm extremely tired but though I cannot sleep. Like when you've been out all night and the next morning you're dead, but you cannot actually sleep, and you just sit on the sofa and stare at the wall... you know?
- Oh, yeah, right, you never sleep. I forgot I was talkin to you Ryuzaki.
It's not that he never sleeps. He sleeps about 4 hours per night, anyway half the time an ordinary human being needs to sleep.
But Ryuzaki it's anything but ordinary.
Oh, no. Not even this.
- Ryuzaki. Stop biting your nails. You're almost bleeding. There's no nail left to bite, you'r gonna bite your own finger if you go on like that.
There's no point in simply telling him to stop, Light knows it. He's not going to stop that easyliy.
Light leans forward and pulls Ryuzaky's hand away from his mouth.
He doesn't react but as soon as Light frees his hand, he takes it back into his mouth.
- 'm not biting my nails.
He justifies himself, sucking his own thumb. For an istant he closes his eyes and exhales slowly, enjoying the act.
Light feels something weird growing into his gut. He takes a deep breath and moves his eyes away from the detective.
Light leans forward to grab one of the candies he keeps on his bedside table. He tosses it to Ryuzaki. For half a second the ticking noise stops. Light can hear the familiar crack of the candy being unwrapped, and then the loud 'slurp' of Ryuzaki's tongue swirling around it.
Light closes his eyes and exhales slowly. After a long minute Ryuzaki's done with the candy and starts nipping his nails again.
'Time for plan B' Thinks Light.
- Hey, Ryuzaki?
- Uhm, yes?
- I bought some sweets for you which you may like... wanna taste?
- Well... yes, thank you Light-kun, you shouldn't...
Ryuzaki is silenced by the sight of a plastic bag full of sweets and candies.
- These are even better than the cake I brought you last week, aren't they?
Ryuzaki is already exploring the content of the bag with his slender fingers.
- Oh, no, nothing could ever be better than that...
'He's like a kid in a candy shop' Light smirks.
Then Ryuzaki seems to have found something he likes. 'Oh, yeah. I knew it' Light thinks. He's damn sure that the world's greater detective has some sort of oral fixation or something.
It's not only about eating the sweets themself, it's about sucking them, breaking them with his perfectly white teeth, teasing them with his tounge and finally swallowing them briefly licking his lips after, just to savour their sweet taste one last time.
The sound of the lollipo being taken out from is mouth, and then inside it again.
Light tries to close his eyes but he can't move them from Ryuzaki, he feels like numb. His hands are twitching unconfortably under the sheets, and he licks his dry lower lip.
Ryuzaki doesn't seem to have noticed anything weird. He goes on staring at the screen of his laptop and sucking noisily his lollipop. 'Why the hell can't he just eat like everybody else?' Light thinks 'Always those noisy sucking and slurping and lapping and licking and... oh shit, stop! Stop. Thinkin. About. This. Stop. Now.'
Light asks hastily. The other one pulls the lollipop out of his mouth with the usual loud 'pop' which is driving Light crazy.
- Tell me, Light-kun.
- C-can you free me? A-I need to go to the bathroom.
- Ok... just... let me find the keys...
Ryuzaki leans forward his bedside table, and the chain shifts so that Light's wrist is pulled towards Ryuzaki. The detective looks for the keys for a few seconds, and finally finds them under their take-away dinner left-overs.
- Here you are.
He tosses the keys to Light, who catches them with a swift move, muttering a 'thank you'.
The teenage quickly unlocks the handcuff on his left wrist, and without a word he gets up and reaches the bathroom. He shuts the door behind him and switches the light on.
Ryuzaki barely raises an eye towards him and then he's back to his percentages.
Light sits on the edge of the bath tub. He runs his shaky fingers through his hair. He tries to steady his breaths. He feels like a grip in his stomach and all his senses are heightened.
'Get a hold of yourself Light' He tells himself. He blinks his eyes not used to the bright light.
He just doesn't like him. He doesn't. It's not a matter 'liking', it's more of a matter of fixed habits... you know, being chained to a guy for a few months... you really get to know him. And... you spend so much time with him. Eat with him, sleep with him, wash your teeth with him. He's the first one you see when you wake up in the morning and the last one when you finally fall asleep at night. He's part of your daily routine, so much that you can't imagine your everyday life without him.
You know, it's not because you want it, it's just because you've become accustomed to it. All his little habits and hideous ticks, you just can't imagine your life without them.
And now, everybody wants him to let Light go. His father keeps telling him to let the teenage go, he tells it every day, and it's always the same rant, every. Single. Day.
And Light... you know, he must want Ryuzaki to let him go. That's the way things are: they're not supposed to remain chained togheter 'till the rest of their lives.
And so he... he just keeps telling stupid things such as 'If I were Kira...' or 'If I knew Kira's thoughts...' and these bullshits.
He keeps writing something on his computer and when Ryuzaki looks up to him, he suddenly closes the document, so that the detective becomes suspicious.
Always the same stupid game each day, and Light is afraid that panda face's going to understand it one day or another...
Light does it because as long as Ryuzaki suspects him, he won't let him go.
- Light-kun...? Are you fine?
His worried voice comes from behind the door, and Light shudders.
- Ye-yeah... I'm... I'm coming...
'In any sense' He can't help thinkin.
'NO! No way. In hell. I don't like him.' He screamed to himself.
He really doesn't like him.
He wouldn't be able to sleep without him...But he doesn't like him.
He has just slept with him for so many nights, that it'll be weird falling asleep without the sound of he ticking on the keyboard or he leafing through a book.
He wouldn't be able to spend all his day without him... But he doesn't like him.
He just consider him a good friend as well as the first person with whom he had been able to have a decent conversation. He just never get bored while Ryuzaki's with him.
He would like to smell his hair, but- of course- it's not what you're thinkin. It's just that when Ryuzaki leans towards the teenage to grab a document or something, he tickles with his hair Light's chin and... it's... it's overwhelming, nothing matters anymore, everything around them disappears, and Light just wants to lower his nose and smell his scent...
He would like to taste his lips, but only for curiosity's sake. Because he wants to know how... how sweet they could be, since they savour sugary foods all day long... or maybe they're not only just sweet, maybe they've got a unique special taste that is Ryuzaki's taste. Who knows, how a guy's lips taste like? Light has never kissed a guy...
A faint sound of a key turning in the lock, Light doesn't hear it, and then the door is slammed open.
- Light-kun, are you...
Ryuzaki remains silent in front of Light, staring at him.
Light feels his mouth opening itself, tries to say something or at least close his mouth but his jaw is paralyzed. Ryuzaki lower his gaze to the bulge in Light's pants.
Following Ryuzaki's eyes, Light lower his own and his heart twitches. He blushes as Ryuzaki walked towards him and sits on the ground next to him, his nose a few inches from Light's groin.
A lot of indistinct thoughts come to Light's mind, blurred by embarassment and discomfort and maybe even pure fear.
Ryuzaki is still holding his lollipop and he gives it a brief- sensual?- lick and then a more deep one. Light's cock throbs in response. Ryuzaki noticed it.
'Oh. Fuck. ' The younger boy thinks. 'Why me? Why me out of all the guys in japan, why is this happening to me?'
He feels so awkward and he doesn't know what the hell he could do. He doesn't neither know what he wants to do. He feels like paralyzed.
Then Ryuzaki puts a hand on one of Light's trembling knees and pushed it aside so that Light's legs are slightly spread open. Light's breaths become quicker and he feels he should say something, anything, but the words just don't come to his tongue.
Ryuzaki's hesitating hands come closer to Light's waistband, and he pulls it a bit lower. Light opens his mouth to say something but Ryuzaki's finger presses his lips.
It's body language and Light knows what it means: 'Shut up, don't say anything that could kill the mood or make this moment fade away, cause it's not coming back. This is our only chance and you know you want it'.
'Yes... yes, ok... ok!' A voice was screaming inside Light's head. 'Ok, that's it, I want it...'
Light just stays still and tries not to panic too much, while Ryuzaki's warm fingers help him taking off his pijama and his boxers. He had always thought that Ryuzaki's fingers would have been cold, even if there's no logical reason for that. But instead they are warm, though a bit less smooth than a girl's ones. Light bites his lower lip at the thought, feeling arousal flashing through his whole body, adrenaline running through his veins.
Now he's naked, half-hard, exposed to Ryuzaky's intense look. Unexpectedly, he doesn't feel so embarassed as he imagined. Maybe that's because he craved it too many times, too many sleepless nights, too many endless days to feel embaressed now. He only plays nervously with the edge of his shirt, fiddling with it with his shaky fingers.
And after a few long moments Ryuzaki's mouth is closer to his now hard cock than Light can handle, and he sinks his teeth in his hand, trying not to scream, while Ryuzaki's left hand presses on his hip to keep him still, and his right hand brushes softly against his erection.
Light shuts his eyes closed and grab the edge of the bath tub to keep himself from falling. Ruzaki's hand is so... so much better than his own hand on him... so much better than any stupid girl's hand he ever had, so much better than anything he had EVER experienced.
It's just... perfect.
There's nothing, NOTHING else in the world now, only Ryuzaki's hand gently stroking him and the feeling that all the muscles in his trembling body are twitching delightfully. But Ryuzaki don't actually need to move, Light's arousal it's such a deep psychological one, that he could cum only with the thought that Ryuzaki really put an hand on his cock. There's no need for other stimulations. He's so happy, so excited, that he barely feels teh real movements of Ryuzaki's hand on him.
They are probably very soft ones, Ryuzaki is only trying to find the right approach, but for Light's highly sensitized skin they're like an electric shock.
He becomes more aware of his captor/best friend/crush's moves when his lips touches very softly his shaft. He gives a first experimental lick on him, and Light moans.
Then he reaches the head, and open his mouth to take it. Light shudders in anticipation.
And then, for the first time, Light feels Ryuzaki's lips on him, and he feels like fainting. At first Ryuzaki's moves are slow and a bit awkward, but after a few istants he starts feeling at ease with the situation and his tongue becomes bolder, twirling around Light's cock, causing flashes of never felt before pleasure in the teenage's body.
Light sink his teeth in his lip 'till he feels the taste of blood, trying hard to stiffle his moans and to remain still, fighting the urge to thrust in Ryuzaki's mouth.
The other boy is trying to deepthroat him as much as he can and Light doesn't want to make him gag.
It's all wet and warm in there, and the tension in Light's stomach is becoming nearly painful.
He finally lower a hand and strokes Ryuzaki's messy hair. The sensation is all he needs to lose his self control and, entwining his fingers in Ryuzaki's dark locks, he thrusts hard in his lover's mouth, until he touches the back of his throat with the head.
A wave of deep pleasure spreads from his groin to his whole body.
Now he wants more, and Ryuzaki seems to understand it because he speeds up his pace causing Light to groan louder.
Then Ryuzaki stops and leaves Light's throbbing cock. The teenage whines, still holding on tightly to Ryuzaki's locks.
He mumbles a question, but Ryuzaki doesn't hear him. He's licking his own fingers untill they're properly coated with saliva. Then he grabs Light's knees and pulls him down gently. Light understand that he wants him to come sitting on the ground- actually it'a good idea, beacuse he needs to sit more comfortably.
When Light is sitting on the ground, Ryuzaki's lips are only a few inches from his ear.
- Let me try this, but tell me if you don't like it...
He whispers to the teenage's ear.
Light is panting and he nods, he wants to try, he definitely wants to try, he craves to try.
Then Ryuzaki moves his finger on Light's butt. Light holds his breath. Ryuzaki's index is now just next to Light's entrance.
'Breath Light. Breath. Don't forget to breath' he tells himself.
Does he want it? Does he really want a guy's finger up his ass?
Light is not sure about it.
But his body does...
It's just a matter of a few seconds and Ryuzaki's finger is in him.
He moans, not really feeling pain nor discomfort, but actually neither such a pleasure. It's weird, only weird, indescribable because he has never felt anything like that before.
He barely realizes that Ryuzaki's finger is moving very slowly inside him, almost teasingly, and that his left hand is stroking his neglected erection.
He only distinctly feels the fingertip of a second finger pressing just outside of his entrance. He bites his lower lip, fighting against the want of having another finger inside him.
He does not know why he craves it, it's not really pleasurable in the end, but it's not something rational. He just desperately needs to feel it right now, need to feel something inside of him.
And then he's satisfied, and also the second finger comes in, with a slight discomfort now, but nothing unbearable. Light keeps on biting roughly his already bleeding lower lip.
And then, heaven.
Heaven is what he felt.
'Don't know what it is, just do it again...' he mutters, trying hard to inhale.
Ryuzaki presses harder on that spot.
Oh, God. That spot is delight.
And Ryuzaki hits that spot again and again, whil rubbing his thumb against the head of Light's cock, using the pre-cum dropping from it as a lube.
It's just all too much for Light, he feels overwhelmed by the sensations, unable to control his own body. He feels like he's going to explode in a few seconds.
He whispers, the other one fastens his pace in response and lower himself untill his mouth is wrapped around the head of Light's cock.
'He... uh, God... he's going to swallow...' Light, if possible, is turned on even more by the thought. He LOVES when they swallow, but most girls don't want to.
And then he feels Ryuzaky's tongue right on his most sensitive area and togheter a particularly intense pressure on the sweet spot inside him.
He immediately feels like a flinch and than all the muscle in his body stiffens. He can't see anything for a while, and he feels almost pain in his gut and in his groin.
Then all the tension in his stomach relaxes and...goddamn... it feels just so good... and then he feels like he's melting, melting in waves and waves and waves of indescribable pleasure...
It's not just an orgasm; he experienced many orgasms before. This is different. This is like ten orgasm all togheter, it's something that makes you forget your name and everything else but the pleasure; or maybe it's just how it feels to reach an orgasm with the person you really like: but Light doesn't know it, because he had never experienced such a thing before.
When the waves of pleasure start softening, leaving Light in a delightful post-orgasmic bliss, he realizes that he had collapsed on Ryuzaki's chest, which is raising ritmically, and that he can hear the fast beating of his heart under the fabric of his shirt.
He knows he must get up. He must get up and say something. And then maybe stand up and walk back to bed. He knows he must do all this things, but for a few minutes he just stays there, abandoned limp on Ryuzaki's chest, not thinkin of anything, his mind still blurred by the intense orgasm.
After those minutes of bliss, Ryuzaki speaks.
- Now, if you wanna sleep Light-kun, we could go back to bed...
He's always so detached, so cold. Hight and mighty Ryuzaki, never loses his own self control, neither if he has just finished blowing him. Light feels frustrated.
He wants to make the panda face forget his name too, he wants to make him forget everything but Light's name. He wants to make him lose his fucking self control.
But why dreaming, Ryuzaki totally pwns him. Light has no chanche with him.
Ryuzaki gets up and Light is forced to move his head from his lean chest. The detective reaches their shared bed before Light can even menage to put himself upright. He reaches the bed too and joins Ryuzaki under the sheets, stifling a moan when he feels a slight burn in his ass.
He lies on the bed, looking at Ryuzaki's back.
He dares, after a minute.
Light whispers, barely audible:
- Uh... what... what about you?
Silence. That's worst than every word.
- What about me what, Light-kun?
Why the hell does he always want to make it more difficult?
- Y-you know what I mean.
- Mmh... no, no I don't see what you mean...
Two options runs through Light's mind:
Number 1) just turn yourself and go back to sleep, and let the fucking panda face jerk himself off.
Number 2) Gather your courage and boldness and move closer to him, touch him, make him cum.
Well, stating that it was Ryuzaki that made the first step (Light wanders if he would have ever found the balls to actually ask him for a blow job), well maybe he deserves option number 2.
And that has nothing to do with the fact that Light himself is... kinda bit curious about... erm... how it would feel like doing... well, you got it... really doing sex... with another man...
- Hey... Ryuzaki...
Light does not answer. He just kisses Ryuzaki's neck. The older boy squirms under him. Light grins, but it's Ryuzaki's mouth what he wants now.
'C'm on asshole, turn yourself, kiss me...'
But the asshole doesn't look like turning.
After all that they've done tonight, Light HAVE to kiss him. It doesn't matter if he will have to force him, he will.
He grabs Ryuzaki's shoulder and pulls it untill Ryuzaki can't do anything but turning to face Light. The younger boy gazes down and sees the bulge in his lover's pants. His caramel eyes are darkened by desire, but he feels awkward, not knowing exactly what to do.
Light is nervous and flickers while taking Ryuzaki's chin with his hand, forcing the older's boy mouth closer to his. It's not that Ryuzaki is really opposing, maybe he just need do see if Light really wants it.
And Light definitely wants it now.
Light shut his eyes closed and leans forward to press his lips aganist Ryuzaki's ones.
His heart is pounding, that's what he really craved for the past months.
He feels like paralyzed, again. He craves it but he's too afraid for doing it.
It's not because he has a problem with kissing a guy. Or, well, it has but now he has forgotten he does.
Now he's just afraid that his lips won't be so sweet as he had imagined them...
But there's no time to think, Ryuzaki's tongue is already sucking his lower lip, asking for entrance. 'Stupid panda face and his stupid oral fixation' Light thinks. Then he surrenders to Ryuzaki's tongue and parts his lips. He immediately focuses in tasting the older boy's tongue.
It isn't so sweet, in fact. It's a bit salty, but maybe that's because he has just savoured Light's own cum. This thought turns Light on again, while their tongues become bolder and starts exploring deeper each other's mouth.
'I'm kissing Ryuzaki' Light can't help but thinkin. 'I'm really kissing him.' Light's heart beats fast as he feels Ryuzaki sucking his lower lip like it was some sort of candy. He squirms under the older boy (which is now virtually on top of him), and he's surprised because of the quickness with which Ryuzaki gained a dominant role in their kiss.
Not that he expected the older boy to be submissive to him- nor he even wanted that- but he thought it would have been a more balanced match.
Anyway, he cannot despise the way things are going.
He leans back to take a breath, and Ryuzaki is reluctanct to leave the younger boy's lip.
- This is better than your candy, isn'it?
He whispers to Ryuzaki's ear, feeling the detective erection pressed on his thigh throb in response.
The game is on, now they cannot stop it. They are both excited and they both craved it for too many months to stop it now. All their hesitations, and their doubts, and the embassment have just faded away, overwhelmed by their desire.
Light has never thought it could really happen. Well, maybe he has understimated the power of two young boys' hormones and of a too long repressed sexual tension. He thought- he feared- that their situation would have never released...
Now, sucking hard on Ryuzaki's tongue while he starts stroking his golden locks, he feels finally free. Finally happy, finally satisfied.
His heart pounds and he tries to fight back this too fluffy feelings.
Then Ryuzaki leans back and inhales deeply, panting. Light still has his right hand entwined in Ryuzaki's messy locks, and caresses him restlessly on his nape and neck, not moving his eyes from the older boy's ones, licking his own lips, shaking softly, and his left hand rests on Ryuzaki's sweaty lower back, under his shirt. He feels so excited, he doesn't know what he's doing but it feels just so good, just so right...
He never, never felt like this before.
Ryuzaki presses his own throbbing erection against Light's thigh. It's a weird feeling, it's hard and it's... it's just flesh; hard, sweaty, throbbing flesh pressed against him.
Never. Ever. Thought. He would have experienced such a thing, but nonetheless it makes he feels like all his guts are slowly and pleasantly liquefying.
He melts himself in the moment, while Ryuzaki strokes gently his hips, trembling, clearly begging for more.
Light rationally doesn't want it. He tries to think but the physical sensations are having the best on him, his whole body twitching with undeniable want.
And then Ryuzaki makes something unexpected: he leans back moving away from the shaky boy beneath him. Light, puzzled, stares at him. Ryuzaki grab the handcuff which usually imprisons Light's hand and he locks it on his wrist. It hurts for a moment because Light's skin is a bit harmed by the continuous rubbing against the metal, but it's just a moment and, moreover, this slight harm is such a familiar feeling to Light, that he almost feels lost without it.
The pain reminds him that he's still chained to Ryuzaki, and so he feels safe.
After a few seconds, Ryuzaki is gently trying to spread Light's legs more open, in order to position himself between them.
Light doesn't comply immediatly but then he gives in, and Ryuzaki now can rub his own almost painful erection against Light's hard-on.
Light feels so helpless and so exposed. His heart is pounding. His firts time with a girl hadn't been so intense, not at all.
Then Ryuzaki licks three of his own fingers leaving a layer of saliva on them. He moves his hand closer to Light's bottom. They are still staring at each other, and without glancing down, Ryuzaki insert his index finger in Light.
It's a bit more painful now than before. Maybe that's because the first time, Light was overwhelmed by the pleasure and he wasn't really focusing on the unconfortable sensation.
However, now he tightens a bit at the feeling of the foreign body pushed inside of him.
- Shh... if you do like this, it'll hurt more...
Ryuzaki whispers to his ear.
Light tries hard to relax his muscles and he loosens a bit.
Ryuzaki tries to comfort him by stroking gently his buttocks and thighs with his free hand.
Light is just starting getting used to the feeling, when a second finger is pressed inside him, stretching him painfully.
He whines, suddenly tightening his muscles so that the pain gets wrost.
Try to relax yourself, Light...
- Ah... shit... you... you try having two fingers up your ass and I'll tell you to relax!
- S-sorry Light-kun... I... I'll go slower...
Light feels his lover stiffening and he unconsciously smiles, wetting his dry lips with his tongue.
- I-I'm fine Ryuzaki, don't worry...
The older boy kisses his neck.
- Uh... and... just... just 'Light'...
Ryuzaki is now staring at him deeply.
- Just... just call me Light, there's no need for the honorific r-right now...
- Ok, you... you're right, Light...
Light's heart beats faster then ever as the third finger enter him very, very slowly. Ryuzaki is really trying his best to make the younger boy feel comfortable.
And Light is thankful for that, because he wouldn't be able to handle a rougher treatment, not now, not physically nor psychologically.
Anyway, now he has got three fingers in him. He's most stretched than ever. He has previously tried to slid one finger inside himself while jacking off, and he had two of Ryuzaki's fingers buried in him less than 20 minutes before, but three fingers... three fingers is so much more than he ever thought he could handle.
And in fact he feels pain now, he tries hard to relax his muscles but they are too stretched right now.
Luckily, Ryuzaki coverd them well with his own saliva, so that the friction at least is not too painful for him.
'Breath Light, just keep on breathing' he repeats himself.
After a few long moments, Ryuzaki slowly pulls out his fingers, and Light feels so empty.
Than Ryuzaky only stares at the teenage, silently asking for permission.
They have never had problems in talking frankly to each other. They are perfectly able to rant for hours about everything they feel like ranting about.
But now... they are speechless.
There's no words to use now, they don't know what to say, how to say it, their tongues are numb.
Light shut his eyes closed and nuzzles up against Ryuzaki's neck, smelling his unique scent. He grab Ryuzaki's shoulder with his right hand, and shakily strokes the older boy's hair, sticky with sweat, with the left one. He can feel the detective shuddering under his equally shuddering hands.
He takes a deep breath, wrapping his legs around Ryuzaki's waist, pulling him closer, silently inviting him to go on.
He can feel the head of the older boy's hard cock pressing at his entrance, and he flinches overwhelmed by the anticipation he feels.
'It's really going to happen, it's going to happen right now' He thinks, unable to tell himself that this is wrong or humiliating or anything but fantastic. He craves to know how it'll feel like, so much that he doesn't care about pain, nor pride, nor anything else but the fact that he's going to have Ryuzaki really inside him in a few seconds.
And then the time seems to stop. Light knows he wouldn't do it for anyone else, he won't never do it for anyone else. He widens his eyes at the feeling of something hard, big and warm being pushed up his ass.
He's trembling and inhale with difficulty.
It's big, so much bigger then the fingers. They say that it feels like you're being split into two halves, and fuck! Oh... fuck... now Light understands exactly why they say that...
He squirms, unable to handle the feeling. It's not a piercing pain, or better, it's very intense but probably not so much that he couldn't actually hold back his tears, if it were a different kind of pain.
Light doesen't feel ANYTHING else than Ryuzaki's erection buried in him. He's barely aware that the older boy is stroking him gently and whispering something to his ear.
He just cannot focus on anything else right now.
After a few long moments, Light realizes that Ryuzaki is trying hard to restrain himself and stay still.
- Yeah... t-tell me, Light...
- Ah... d-don't... don't you dare... moving right now, or I-I'm going to kill you, ok?
- I'm not moving Light, don't worry, I'm not moving at all...
The older boy reassures him.
- I'm not moving until you tell me I can...
- o-ok then...
Light whispers, it's hard to speak because he can't inhale enough oxygen when he speaks right now.
He shut his eyes closed trying to hold the tears back. It takes a minute to him to start relaxing a bit around Ruyzaki's cock, finally managing to breath more steadily and to clear up his thoughts.
The pain is only a bit less intense now, maybe just because he got used to it. A part of him wants it to stop, but he knows that this would mean to have Ryuzaki out of him, and this thought scares him more than anything. Besides, he still remebers what he felt with Ryuzaki's fingers in him before, in the bathroom. He keeps telling himself that it's absolutely normal if it's painful now, because it's his first time. But it will get better soon. 'It will get better soon' he keeps telling himself, trying to be strong and to handle the pain.
He feels a tear coming out from his left eye, and then something warm and wet (Ryuzaki's tongue most likely) licking it from his cheek.
As Light manages to calm down, he becomes more aware of the boy on top of him. He has always craved to know how Ryuzaki would be like when he's horny.
Now the world's greatest detective is trembling and sticky with sweat.
Light moves slowly a hand on Ryuzaki's back, up and down, enjoying the feeling of the sweaty, quivering skin under his palm. Ryuzaki's messy dark locks tickle Light's nose. He can feel the older boy's hot, heavy breaths on his own neck.
His awareness gets higher and higher, and he can't help but feeling turned on by the whole situation.
After less than two minutes (but to Light they've been an eternity) since Ryuzaki penetrated him, Light starts feeling good.
He doesn't feel real pleasure yet, and the pain is still quite intense, but now he kinda like the feeling.
It's not good, nor bad. It's indescribable, he thinks while he focuses on the feeling of hard throbbing flesh pressed against his inner walls. It's... mmh... the weirdest. Feeling. Ever...
And then he whispered:
- Mmh... yeah?
- It's... it's fine now... you... you can go on...
Light feels the other boy smiling against his neck.
And then, Ryuzaki gently thrusts in Light, making him wanna scream, but he sinks his teeth in his lower lips instead, tightening his muscles around the older boy.
Ryuzaki really tries his best to make Light get used to the feeling, slowly rocking his hips back and forth, almost painfully slow for him but already too fast for Light.
And then, he hits it. Not exactly his sweeter spot, but somewhere very close to it. Light's eyes widens as he inhales abruptly. He cancels the distance between them and presses his bleeding lips onto Ryuzaki's ones, at the same time holding him tightly with his arm wrapped around Ryuzaki's shoulders.
When Ryuzaki finally hit his sweet spot, Light feels the urge to kiss his lover, deeply, and so he does, feeling dizzy for the lack of oxygen and muffling loud groans in Ryuzaki's mouth.
He's not actually 'kissing' Ryuzaki by now, he's licking his mouth, and his chin, and his face, and sucking hard on his lips, at the end sinking his teeth in them until they bleed. Then he licks the blood dropping from the older boy's injured lips and captures his tongue, roughly rubbing his own tongue against it, melting himself in the warm, wet feeling.
And then the pleasure starts definitely overcoming the pain, a kind of pleasure Light has never felt before.
It's not like when he strokes his own erection alone in his bed at night, not even like when he fucks himself with his index finger, nor like when he thrusts into a girl's pussy.
It's... it's just so... complete... so... overwhelming...
He curles his toes with every thrust, feeling his muscles stiffening. His vision is blurred and he holds on to Ryuzaki's shoulders as if they were his only lifeline in a stormy ocean of feelings.
It feels so good and he knows it's everything he has ever wanted.
Now Ryuzaki is rubbing Light's erection which is painfully hard and swallen and oozing leaks of pre-cum.
Flashes of intense pleasure runs through out Light's whole body. He starts feeling the urge to release himself, and tries to steady his breaths in time with Ryuzaki's now harder thrusts.
The pace fastens a bit more, now all the muscles in Light's body twitch. There's nothing else in the room now, nothing else in the whole world but their sweaty bodies locked togheter, their throbbing groins, their pounding hearts, their panting breaths, Light's nails sunk in Ryuzaki's back.
He feels a grip in his stomach, unable to catch a breath. He feels Ryuzaki's body stiffening and his own muscles stiffening in response. Then for half a second Ryuzaki remains still, Light feeling dizzy and tight like never before.
And then a deep, so deep thrust against his sweet spot, makes Light's head tilt back and his eyes shut closed, his white-knuckled hands grabbing the sheets.
He feels a shake through out his body and bites his lower lip. One second of unbearable tension in his stomach and groin and then it's like everything inside him is melting, still tense but so perfectly tense right now.
It's all about, how many? Less than ten seconds? Ten seconds of the most intense feeling a man can experience. Too much to just define it 'pleasure', it's all, all you can feel, all you can think about for a minute, all that exists in the world...
It's physical but it overwhelms your psyche too, there's no pain, no fear, no pride, no troubles, no yesterday, no tomorrow, not even your lover; for a few seconds nothing exists, but you cumming.
A second before it's all tension and want and a second after it's bliss and last sweet waves of pleasure.
But for those few seconds in between it's... something no words can describe.
He hears his lover's voice coming from somewhere far away, like it's muffled by something.
He cannot answer now, he's lost in his own orgasm.
The voice becomes louder and more insistent.
He moans, trying to focus his dizzy mind on speaking.
A weird, harsh voice, different from the one that purred his name before.
He succeeds in mumbling.
Suddenly he starts feeling cold and empty and someone is shaking him.
All the pleasure quickly disapperas before he had the chance to ride his orgasm until the end.
Light, annoyed, tries to open his eyes and to understand who is shaking him.
After a few moments in which he desperately tries to hold on to his last istancts of deligthful pleasure, he is forced back to realty.
He is sitting on his chair, in front of his computer. The clock shows him that it's a quarter past one a.m. Ryuzaki is holding his shroulders and quickly shaking him.
- Light-kun? Are you alright? You fell aspleep and you were moaning and whining... I thought you were having a nightmare!
'A nightmare, yeah. Always the same fucking nightmare every night.'
Light blinks his eyes and inhale deeply, trying to calm himself down. He notices the bulge in his pants and tries to hide it from his captor.
- I-I'm fine, Ryuzaki.
- Sure? You look quite shaken!
- That's because you're shaking me, Ryuzaki.
And the older boy looses his grip on him.
- Sorry if I woke you up. But maybe it's time we go to bed, I can continue my working on the laptop.
- Yeah... yes. Thank you... I'd... really like to go to bed right now.
- Ok, let's go then.
Ryuzaki looks for something in his pocket. He looks disappointed.
- Light-kun...? Have you got any candy left, haven't you?
- Yep... sure.
He pulls out a strawberry flavoured candy from his own pocket and tosses it to his favourite sugarholic raccoon.
He grabs it and starts unwrapping it licking his own lips with anticipation.
- Why can't you just eat like anybody else, Ryuzaki?
Light asks, more towards himself.
Ryuzaki swallows his candy before replying.
- Well, you won't have to stand my bad habits any longer, Light-kun.
Light looks puzzled at the detective.
- I wanted to tell you this tomorrow but... well, you'll be happy to know that I decided to free you.
'Free me?' Light freezes. Ryuzaki keeps on speaking.
- … want me to, I think I have no choice but letting you free. I've already announced that to Yagami-kun...
'Oh, that's already decided then...'
- This is gonna be our last night togheter, Light-kun. I think you're glad to know it.
'Our last night togheter...'
- Yeah... yes, I'm... I'm glad.
- Well then... we can go to sleep now. I hope this happy news will keep you from having nightmares again.
' Yes, sure...'
They head to their shared bedroom, with Light playing absent-mindedly with his handcuff, rubbing it against his bare skin until it hurts.
A little voice in his head is screaming, but he silences it.
Well, actually that is the firts time I write about this pairing from Light's POV, too. Maybe he's a bit more sweet here than how I usually describe him, but that's because the lemon is actually Light's dream, and he acts more like how he would unconsciously like to act, rather than how he would really act in a situation like that...
You know, in our dreams we can be whoever we wish! ^.^