Ok, this story kinda came out of nowhere, but I really enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading!
This story is set in the mid 3rd season.
Disclaimer- I own nothing, as per usual!
The white, brown tinged ceiling of the dark and dingy motel room made an unwelcome sight as Dean Winchester woke up from his fitful sleep, if you could call it that.
He had tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep for some reason.
He had made so much noise that he had woke Sam, who was sleeping damn peacefully beside him in the bed, twisted around the blanket, innocent look on his face.
Sam had told him to go back to sleep, but of course, thought Dean that was going to be rather hard since he had never fallen asleep in the first place.
In the end, Dean had to grumpily get out of the bed and go watch some crappy early morning TV, which was the most boring thing he had ever done in his life.
It was all adverts and adverts, and then even more adverts. Even the news channel had freaking adverts every two minutes, this made him even more angry and dark feeling.
And then the worst thing imaginable happened. Something so bad and horrible that it made dean sick to the stomach to see it.
It had started raining.
'Oh damn! Can't a guy get some peace around here?' Dean asked the silent motel room snappily, glaring around as if to expect and answer from the door or something, but he didn't get one. Obviously.
Sam Winchester awoke from his peaceful slumber, feeling fresh and recharged. He reached to his side to feel for Dean, but all he caught was empty space and extra blanket.
'What!' came his rather snappish reply?
Sam followed the voice and located Dean in a wooden chair near the small television that was on, the glare and colour of the adverts made Sam's eyes hurt.
'Watcha doing over there?' he asked, wondering why his brother was ignoring him at the same time.
'What does it look like I'm doing Sam? Huh? Think about it!' Dean replied, frowning at Sam.
Sam blinked at his brother, whoa; dean was in a bad mood.
'Well, it looks like your taking a shower, but hey! I could be wrong!' Sam smiled; hoping humour might make Dean feel better. Nope.
'Whatever dude' came his staunch reply, and he watched dean cross his arms and stare at the screen.
Dean didn't want stupid geek jokes at this time of the morning, and just the thought of Sam being in the same room as him made him bubble with anger, but he didn't know why.
Close quarters probably, he thought.
Sam moved from the bed and made his way to Dean, but dean deliberately moved aware from him, avoiding eye contact from his little brother.
'Dean, c'mon man, what's wrong? Couldn't you sleep-'
'I slept just fine thank you very much! Why do you care anyway?' replied Dean angrily.
'Well, maybe it's cos I'm your brother, and I'm worried about you!' shot Sam, feeling a bit defensive of himself.
He always cared about dean; always made time for it as well.
'If you say so' sniffed Dean, moving back to the bed.
'And what's that supposed to mean? You know I worry about you...since you've been to hell and all-'
'Yeah, and what's me going to hell got to do with anything?' said Dean, his temper rising, and Dean knew why, it was because Sam was getting near the truth.
Sam walked over to his brother and sat down.
He had to be calm for himself and dean, but it was really appealing just to deck him at this moment, the pompous jerk.
'Dean, I know you still have nightmares. Now if you would just talk to me...'
'When will you get this into your brain Sam! I don't want to talk, I don't need to talk, this is just your way of pretending to care about me, because I know you don't, you were happy when I went to hell! I bet you were jumping for joy, dancing on my grave, that sort of thing! Now for the last time-
I DON'T WANT TO TALK! AND THE SOONER YOU GET THAT INTO YOUR LONG HAIRED, FREAKY HEAD OF YOURS- THE BETTER IT WILL BE FOR BOTH OF US!' Dean yelled, right in Sam's face, eyes searching for a fight.
Sam forced himself to breath properly; he hadn't realised he had been holding his breath until he did.
He blinked back the tears and swallowed the emotion back down his throat.
He stood up and walked to the bathroom, grabbing his clothes on the way, and for fifteen minutes, all dean could hear was the shower.
And for those fifteen minutes, all dean could think about was what he had just said.
I can't believe I just said all that! What did I do that for? I didn't mean any of it- how could I have said that to him? He couldn't understand it.
He felt like such a jerk, and man, he felt so guilty.
He crossed the room and knocked on the bathroom door, pushing the side of his head into the wood, but all he could hear was muffled flowing water, and something else...
Humming. Damn it. Sammy always hummed when he was trying to stop himself crying. The tune didn't matter, as long as he hummed.
Dean slid down the door, his heart breaking, his soul shattering from the guilt.
He felt a tear running down his cheek, but didn't bother to wipe it off. This wasn't about him, it was about Sam.
Dean heard the taps being turned off in the bathroom, and he shot back to the bed, pretending he hadn't moved.
Sam tried to look anywhere but at dean, but when he did look his way, Dean got a jolt of guilt again when he saw Sam's red rimmed eyes. He knew he had cut him deep, hit a nerve, he would never react like this any other time.
'Sammy, I-'he began, but Sam cut across him.
'I don't want to hear it Dean. I'm going out, I may be some time.' He said, and he grabbed his keys and wallet and headed for the door.
'Sam- wait!' cried Dean, but the door slammed shut before he could say any more.
He sank down on the bed, guilt and sadness coursing through his veins
He couldn't believe that he had said that to Sammy.
He didn't mean any of it. He knew full well that him going to hell meant so much to him, that it tore him apart just thinking about it, and he could only imagine what state he was in when he was torn apart by those damn hell hounds.
Sammy was his life, his only friend, his brother, his lover, his soulmate.
He couldn't do anything without Sam, nothing mattered more to him than that crazy haired kid.
He owed the dude so much that it hurt him to think about it.
Hell, he had given his own life to save his, that was just how much he cared and loved the man.
They had a...unique relationship, but who cared? It was just Sammy and him, and that was how he liked it.
Now it was gone, tarnished like he had just thrown dirt onto it, and obscuring the love and kindness like he was mopping a floor. Sam was gone, and he probably wouldn't be coming back-
No, he'll be back, he just needs to cool down, then I'll explain everything, then it'll all be fine.
Dean's thoughts jumbled in his head, swimming so fast he couldn't think straight.
In the end, dean resolved to just waiting in the motel room for Sammy to come back, figuring that if he came back at least he would be there, not wandering the streets looking for him.
Hours went by, and still no sign of Sam.
Dean started to get seriously worried. What if he was hurt? Lying in a gutter with his spleen hanging out?
Ten more minutes, then I'll go out.
Those ten minutes arrived, and still no sign of Sam.
Dean called his cell, but all he got was answer phone, Sam's voice ringing in his ear to leave a message.
He put the phone down before the 'beep' and then grabbed his jacket.
He opened the door to come face to face with-
'Sammy! Dude, I was just coming to look for you'
'Why? Why would you care about me' Sam replied evenly.
Dean spluttered for an answer, but Sam didn't wait around to hear it, instead he walked into the motel room, banging two plastic bags into the small table by the bed.
'I brought Chinese and beer if you fancy it' he stated, and then he sat on the bed.
Dean carefully walked to the table, and sat down beside Sam.
'Sam, about what I said-'
'No Dean, I don't want to hear it...'
'But Sammy let me explain! I don't know why I said the stuff that I did, it was a mistake, but I didn't mean any of it, I promise! I'm so sorry Sam, I don't know what I was thinking, but like I said, I didn't mean it!'
'Really?' Sam asked in a small voice, eyes searching Dean's for the truth. Dean took his hand and squeezed it gently; he shook it slightly, trying to make Sam see. 'Sammy of course I didn't, I was just in a bad mood or something, but I didn't mean any of it!'
Sam considered Dean's apology. He shouldn't let him get away with this so easily, but he knew that Dean couldn't possibly of meant those things, he just couldn't of.
'Ok Dean, but I want to let you in on a little secret' he said.
'What's that Sammy?' said dean, schooching closer to Sam, letting his legs touch his thigh, Sam didn't move away, which dean took as a good sign.
'I want you to know that I always cared for you, and I always will-'
'Aww Sammy you don't need to say thi-'
'Will you let me finish? Also, I was not happy when you went to hell- I was devastated, couldn't sleep for months, I kept having nightmares about what they were doing to you, with the thought that I couldn't stop it, I tried to find ways to get to you, but I couldn't find a way, i-i- I'm sorry.' Sam cried. Dean hugged Sam close, then pulled his face to face him.
He held Sam's hands and put his fingers to his face, smiling at his little brother as he did so.
'See Sammy, I'm here, I'm solid- I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to leave you again!' he reassured him, watching Sam's tears falling to the bed.
Dean knew that Sam had harboured these feeling for weeks, months even, but he didn't feel ready to discuss them with him. Now he had waited too long, they needed to be dealt with.
'You can't say that dean! Not another promise! I can't take any more promises, what if you die or something and I can't save you or-'
Sam was silenced by a chaste kiss to his lips, dean's soft lips caressing his dry ones; he felt a pressure to the back of his head as dean pulled him closer into the embrace.
Dean pressed his tongue into Sam's mouth, and when he had gained entrance he swept his tongue over his brother's teeth and the roof of his mouth, gathering the taste of Sam to swallow down, to savour every moment.
Sam moaned into the kiss, causing Dean to smile and push Sam into the bed.
He didn't intend to do this, but he needed to get a message to Sam, he broke off the kiss and took Sam's hand again, but this time he directed his brother's hand to his chest, or more precisely his heart.
'Feel this Sammy, you feel it?'
Sam nodded, he could indeed feel his brother's steady heartbeat, the rhythm reminding him of a drum with three chords, over and over again.
'well, if ever I'm gone, or if you ever go, I just want you to know that you will always be in my heart, no matter what, it doesn't matter if we argue, if the damn apocalypse pulls us apart or whatever, you'll always be here, you'll never go, or ever be replaced. And this is a promise I can keep.' Dean reassured him,
Sam smiled and leaned up to kiss Dean, sweeping his hand to the back of Dean's head to pull him down.
'Just...out of curiosity...why were you in a bad mood?' asked Sam between kisses.
Dean didn't answer immediately, but when he got some breathing space, he answered.
'You want the truth?'
'That...would be nice...yeah!' Sam said, working down Dean's face, planting butterfly kisses down dean's neck and crook of his neck, grinning when Dean shuddered and moaned.
'Cos...Oh dude...cos...It was raining!' Dean managed to get out before he shuddered again. Damn -Sammy sure knew how to press his buttons.
That must be one of the reasons he loved him so much.
Sam abruptly stopped the kisses and moved up the bed to face Dean, who gave him the trademark Dean Winchester grin and raised eyebrow stance.
'Because it was raining?' he asked again, unsure he had heard him right the first time.
'umm yeah' offered Dean, and then he pushed Sam onto his back, and started to kiss his eyes and temples, his breath hot against cold flesh. Sam closed his eyes and surrendered to it. After a while Dean looked down at Sam.
'And you know?' he asked, stroking Sam's cheek, green eyes meeting brown ones, both complete in their paradise, their heaven on earth.
'What?' Sam whispered, fingers curling into Dean's shirt.
'I really shouldn't worry about the rain, you know why?'
'No? Why?' asked Sam, itching to pull the shirt of his brother, but for the moment resisting the temptation.
'Because you are my sunshine on a rainy day!' answered dean. Sam looked lovingly at his brother. Dean smiled down at his little brother, and kissed him hard; Sam pulled his brother away from him, and then lay on top of him, holding his arms above him.
'Oh no dean- It's my turn today!' he said, brown eyes flashing with humour and power. Dean grinned and allowed himself to be manhandled.
He had meant what he had said, he thought as Sam brought his lips to his own, hands sweeping over his body, claiming skin and hair, muscle and limbs.
No matter what life threw at him, be it angels, demons, humans, the damn apocalypse-
Sammy would always be his sunshine on a rainy day.
Hope you enjoyed reading this as I did writing it!
I know it was a bit long; I'm not sure whether I should chapter it to break it up, but review to let me know your thoughts on it!
I guess this is a hurt comfort story, but then again it could be romance too!
I'm still a bit new with Wincest, so please review so I can see what you think of it!
Thank you for reading!