Disclaimer: I don't own Looney Tunes or Maximum Ride. Never have, never will.
"You know what? Max sucks. She just plain ol' sucks. And Fang too, I thought it through, and I officially decided the both suck. All of this is their fault, and the school's fault for being evil. And Mrs. Martinez's fault for supporting Max, and Jeb's for just being so darn Jeb-ish. Gawd, why did everyone have to start being jerks all at once! They all just suck." Nudge made a shriek of exasperation that only teenage girls can produce, and began throwing logs into the small campfire, as if telling them they sucked too.
"Nudge," Angel said, "if you get tired of the word 'suck' I can teach you some new swear words."
Iggy scowled in Angel's direction, but he couldn't stay annoyed at anyone long. Between Gazzy and Nudge there was enough anger going around, and now he was the oldest, the voice of reason. He had been in charge for five, safe, murderer-free days, and he already hated it.
"Can you believe Max?" Nudge continued. "Fang takes off and what does she do? She takes off after him! I'm sorry, but didn't Fang's letter say specifically not to do that? And now we're 'too young' and 'need some time away from running' and 'should take some time to be kids.' How the heck does being stranded out here, alone, without Max or Fang help us in any way? What if Angel's head exploded?" Nudge nodded importantly at the mind reader. "Angel, how does it feel to know that if your head exploded right now neither Max nor Fang would know about it and we wouldn't even be able to contact them to tell about it?"
Angel stared blankly back, and Gazzy eyed Nudge cautiously, as if her head had a better chance of exploding.
"Fine, I'll drop it. Iggy, where are we heading?"
"Well," He said, picking at a stick with his nails, "I realized recently I hated the Arctic and being under water. I don't know about you guys, but I'm done with cold, and I'm done with wet. It was the U.S. Government's fault we were there in the first place, so I'm feeling kind of done with America too."
Nudge's eyes were lighting up, and Angel, reading both their minds, looked doubtfully at them.
Iggy continued. "We're in New Mexico; old Mexico is just a short flight south of here. Let's just travel until we find some empty cave in a canyon and stay there."
"Really?" Gazzy asked, sounding skeptical.
"You have a better idea?"
"No, I like Mexico. It just seems that flying south for the winter is a little too cliché, even for us."
Much earlier, far to the south, similar plans were being made by a mister Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius. At Mexico's ITEX lab they were still experimenting with erasers. Sure, the new thing was robots, but the field just seemed too busy, no need for another lab to come up with another all new killing android. However, it had been a year since the lab had made a successful mutant, and they were becoming pessimistic.
The only mutant that had even survived to see its first birthday was Wile E. Coyote. The original eraser had been great, it could shape shift, it could kill… it just couldn't come up with the master plan, but it was great at following orders.
Wile E. had been an attempt at a smarter eraser, one that could give orders and be a leader. Well, really, he had been one of many attempts. The scientists tried all the different combinations of wolf DNA they could think of. It did not work. After that they tried fox DNA, which failed horribly (small children with pointed teeth, obsessed with catching mice.) Dog genes didn't work much better, and cats were a disaster.
Finally they gave coyote a try, and in the opinion of all the other labs, got incredibly lucky. The child was very clever, could turn into a gangly coyote at will, and was aging at a nice speed of around four time the human rate. He came up with ideas… maybe not the greatest ones, but he could still come up with them.
It all started going downhill when the cross breed was around five years old. He began to have trouble with his shape shifting. It was alright when he turned from human to wolf, but wolf to human was difficult and rarely worked properly.
A few years later he lost the ability entirely. For a coyote he appeared humanesque, and walked on his back legs, and could talk when he wanted, but was still a permanent coyote. As the other labs claimed they had known all along, he was not the miracle mutant. He spent most his time wandering the lab on all fours and would no longer respond to direct questions.
The scientists lost interest, and began to treat him as more of a pet. That was exactly what he wanted.
People no longer locked him in a cage, he had a dog bed. It was just a matter of waiting until someone left a door open and running through. Now he just wanted to find an unpopulated canyon with a nice, homey looking cave.
As he walked out the door of the lab (on two legs) he chuckled to himself.
"Genius. Sheer, unadulterated genius!"
Well, that's all folks! For the first chapter any way.
Thank you for reading, and an even larger thank you goes to all reviewers!