Wile E. Coyote was in front his cave with a rock in each hand. Whole, the rocks didn't look very edible, but Wile E. figured that maybe smaller rocks would taste better, and was proceeding to fragment the rocks by smashing them together. To his great dismay, the end result still tasted remarkably like stone.
He was so hungry, a part of him longed for the IAMS dog food they had served back at the lab. But at least out here he was free to do what he wanted… which was apparently to eat rocks. He chucked the stones over the cliff ledge and watched them fall into the river with a splash.
What was that? There were still splashes in the water, and the rocks had landed long ago. Something was splashing around in the water, something alive. There were four of them, and they looked like humans.
The coyote licked his lips, and pulled out his cell phone, speed dialing the Acme Corporation. It was his favorite company, the only one that would deliver to a coyote in the middle of the desert. They had everything—anvils, dynamite, exploding tennis balls—everything except food, that is.
Wile E. told the salesman the product numbers for all the items he wanted, said to put them all on his bill, and hung up. He only had to wait a moment before an airplane flew overhead and dropped the items by parachute.
The river ran through the valley of a small canyon, and it was across the top of this canyon that the coyote placed a plank of wood. He took his newly purchased generator and plugged an extension cord into it, then a microwave into the extension cord. The Plan: walk across to the middle of the plank, drop the microwave into the water (while keeping hold of the generator,) wait for electricity to take its course, and then go and gather dinner.
Contraption in hand, he walked out to the middle of the plank, and was standing there, ready to drop the microwave, when he looked down. One of the children, a blonde boy, was flying. Wings could complicate things. Somehow Gazzy failed to notice the coyote, even though he came close to him.
"Cannon ball!" He shouted, tucking in his wings and hurtling toward the river. The splash flew up and drenched Wile E., his generator, and the microwave. Even the flock noticed the resulting zapping noise, and looked up to see the charred coyote desperately trying the squelch the flame on his own tale. He hopped about desperately, succeeding only in setting the plank on fire, which caused the wood to break beneath him.
He hit the ground (of course, the ground. He always misses the river) with a loud crunch. Suspicious (and rightly so) Nudge and Angel hurriedly backed into their cave.
A second smashing sound shook the ground as the microwave landed on top of the coyote, and even louder noise as the generator joined the heap. The coyote's tail, despite the fall, was somehow still on fire.
Extension cord tangled about his leg, Wile E. ran madly towards the water, jumping in and sighing with relief as his tail was extinguished. He then caught sight of Gazzy and Iggy, who were standing on the opposite bank, the non-blind one eyeing him curiously. They were covered in dirt and (if the swim in the river did not count) had not showered in days, but they were still the most edible things the coyote had smelled in a long time.
He took off towards them, but had not swum more than a few feet when the microwave attached to the extension cord was pulled in with him. A puff of smoke went up into the air, and coughing, the flock members shut the cave door.
Slightly singed, Wile E. Coyote swam back to shore and started the walk home.
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