Regirock's Guide to Registeel:
A Firsthand Look of Being the Counterpart
Of a Madwoman
Summary: Hee-Hee! I liked the Guide To-thing so much I decided to make it into a series! This is Regirock's one and I'm gonna do a Rayquaza Guide next. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Hey, I'm Regirock and this here's Regice, one of the members in our trio. (Regice: Beep. Beep-bop-beep-beep-bop.) As you can see, for the sake of you being able to understand this guide, I'll be the one narrating. This is a How-to-Deal guide on what to do if you ever meet our counterpart Registeel.
Who Registeel Actually Is
There is a reason I am calling this 'A Firsthand Look of Being the Counterpart of a Madwoman'. Registeel is a sadistic, manipulative, cruel, cunning, evil, psychopathic, downright scary, Steel-type Legendary who unfortunately happens to be me and Regice's counterpart. She may not look like much on the outside-but on the inside, she is possibly more psychotic than Cresselia on her monthly. She is also a very detail-oriented person, almost to the point of paranoia.
I do happen to believe Arceus has a cruel sense of humor sometimes.
Registeel's Known Friends and Allies
Heatran (Both insane. Although she's slightly more sane than Registeel.)
Regice and me (I think we're more accomplices than allies though)
Regigigas (He's the only one who can stop her from totally taking over the world)
Giratina (See List of Failed Schemes for why she hates him)
Arceus (Registeel wants to be a god. Arceus is a Goddess. Do the math.)
Mew (She finds that little pink cat-bunny annoying. Don't we all?)
Wal-mart (Yes I said Wal-mart. She List of Best Places to Hide from Registeel)
What to do in Case of Confronted by Registeel
Run. Run like there is no tomorrow. Because if she catches you, you will be no doubt dragged into some crazy, doomed-to-fail scheme that will have you ending up in jail or covered in coconut crème filling. (See List of Failed Schemes) Registeel is a walking time bomb.
Treat with extreme caution.
What Not to Say to Her
'You psychotic bitch!"
'Are you going to drag me and Regice into this?' (The answer is always yes. Always!'
'We're going to go to Wal-mart! Want to come?'
'Did you take your medication today?' (No. I would not be writing this guide is she did.)
'Is it that time of the month, again?' (Last person who asked this got a Gyro-Ball to the you-know-where. It hurt like hell and took me hours to regenerate the lower half of my body.)
'You're really not thinking this all the way through.'
'What would Regigigas do if he found out?' (Registeel's answer: Regigigas can go screw himself!'
What to Say to Her
'Let's go plot to kill Regigigas' is the only thing I can really think of. She hates Regigigas so this usually works on getting her to leave us alone for an hour or two. But then it's back to bossing me and Regice around again.
Best Places to Hide from Registeel
Arceus's closest: Nice, warm, cozy, and big enough to hide Darkrai, Mew, Regice, and me all at one time.
Mew's Room: Last resort only. Otherwise you might get arrested for assault and attempted murder.
Cresselia's Room: No Legendary in their right mind would look in here!
Mewtwo's Room: No Legendary in their right mind would go in here…
Regigigas Cavern: She's not allowed in here.
Wal-mart (Ever since a Wal-mart opened up in the Hall of Origin, she's been convinced that they're trying to take over the world)
Anywhere outside a 20-mile radius (Arceus's car has really nice leather seats by the way)
Failed Schemes and Plots of Registeel
Scheme: Covering all the steps leading up to the Hall of Origin with cooking oil so that Regigigas would trip and break his neck (I don't believe any of us actually has something that counts as a neck, but we still got dragged into it anyway)
Result: Regice fell down 1, 045, 982 flights of stairs and I got a headache from his loud screaming.
Endnote: I have no idea where she got all that cooking oil. Or why Arceus needs that many steps.
Scheme: Demonic toilets from hell
Result: Mew was sucked down a toilet. I had to get a plunger to save his sorry, pink ass. The Legendary of Children still won't leave me alone.
Endnote: I said go away, dammit!
Scheme: The Sentret Army
Result: The Hall of Origin was flooded with the annoying, brown squirrel-things. It took us hours to clean up. (I still see some wandering the Hall every once-in-a-while. Mostly by Celebi's room)
Endnote: I hate Sentret.
Scheme: Attempting to take over the Reverse World
Result: Giratina left her stranded on an upside-down plateau.
Endnote: I now learned that Registeel is afraid of heights.
Scheme: Dying Darkrai bright pink
Result: The Prince of Darkness would not come out of his room for three weeks. Even when Cresselia tried to chase him out of there.
Endnote: Cress is just damn scary when she's pissed. But I don't have any idea how this could help her take over the world. At all.
Scheme: Getting Cress drunk.
Result: Imagine this, a psychotic, metal, constantly PO'd Lunar Swan drunk. Needless to say, even Arceus was hiding in her closet that night. And Registeel hid in Wal-mart with us for a little while.
Endnote: Never give the Legendary of Dreams alcohol.
Scheme: Getting a formula from Mewtwo. The formula, if you drank it, would be like drinking 1, 657, 022 gallons of Red Bull, Coca-Cola, Monster, and Mountain Dew combined. She gave this formula to Mew.
Result: The Hall was flooded with coconut crème filling.
Endnote: I hate coconut crème now. Arceus made us eat it all.
Scheme: Trying to blow up a Wal-mart
Result: We were caught, put in prison, bailed out be Arceus, and then forced to take jobs at a Wal-mart until we made enough money to pay her back.
Endnote: I can see why Registeel hates Wal-mart now. Some of those people are just plain rude.
That's some of her schemes, but for now I'm only listing the ones that happened in the last two years.
Regirock: No, they do not need to know that one. That's purely between me and Registeel.
Regice: *turns to audience* Beep-beep-boop-beep!
Regirock: *head-vein pops out* You best be glad they can't understand you.
Regice: *writes on whiteboard* He made out with her cause she spiked his Mountain Dew!
Regirock: …DIE! *Fires Zap Cannon*
Ways to Handle Registeel
Uh…I can't really think of any ways to handle her. Running and hiding are ways of avoiding her. But I really don't know how to handle her. Threatening her with Regigigas will make her kill you.
All in all, if you use this guidebook correctly, then you should be able to survive a day or two with her. All depends on how you use it.
Registeel poked her 'head' into Regirock's room, her seven eyes flashing wildly, her version of a smile.
"Dude!" she exclaimed, "What are you doing? I just came up with a new plan to get rid of Regigigas! This one's foolproof! Let's go, let's go, let's go!" She grabbed the Rock-type golem, ignoring his screams of protest as she dragged him down the Hall.
Okay's I'm done! Well with this guide at least! Next on the list is Rayquaza's Guide to Dealing with PO'd Counterparts! (I got the idea from an unknown reviewer of mine! Thanks. He/She'd gave me the title, now I give him/her the story! Arigato!)
Adieu and until next time,