He'd always been a fan of poetic justice. Dramatic irony was another thing he loved to read about. Sometimes he wished he actually had it in him to comfort the poor girls who'd been raped by the horrible boogyman that was the Hearst rapist. For no reason other than that it would be the most ironic thing that ever happened to him. That's just the kind of person he was.

So really, he'd wanted Veronica Mars from the moment she walked in on him with Parker. He wouldn't know for sure that it was her until a couple days later, but he'd wanted her from the moment her little fingers touched that doorknob.

When he finds out about her, he's a little angry that she seems to be unattainable. And not only that, but she might just be dangerous to pursue this way, because she seems to be able to figure out anything, and if he chooses her it may well be the last thing he ever does. Because the moment he touches her, he knows he'll have two armies after him, one lead by Logan Echolls and one lead by Keith Mars. So he must plan this very carefully.

In all his wildest dreams, he couldn't have planned someone more poetically perfect than her. Seriously, someone named Mars who lived in Neptune, who hated said town with a violent passion, who was almost broken by the sons of Neptune? It mimicked the old mythology so much that his cock twitched just hearing her name. He casually asks Logan and Wallace and even Piz about her past, and none of them tell him much, but they tell him enough so that he can go back to his room and Google her life story.

It ends up becoming far more ironic than he ever could have hoped. When he hears that it was Veronica who tipped off Lamb, he has to smile, despite the fact that he's behind bars. Because now he can use her own army against her, use her own army to use her own sleuthing skills against her, and it will make hurting her that much sweeter. Thank God for accomplices.

Logan rides up on his white stead to save her and ruins his plan a little bit, but he shrugs it off because now he's got his alibi whether or not Veronica Mars is completely bald. At that moment, it's really all he can ask for. He almost gives up on having Veronica for himself after that, because she is always surrounded by her bodyguards or by the actual bodyguard that Logan hired for her. Stupid prick.

Imagine his overwhelming glee when he finds her in Kim Keiser's bed. It's like a dream come true, finally revealing himself to the girl who'd persecuted him, then saved him, and continued hunting him. And with a little GHB, she won't even remember it was him.

He has to suppose it's poetic justice that Veronica stabbed him with that damn unicorn, since thinking about something as juvenile as fucking unicorns was exactly what he was trying to avoid. And it's definitely the ultimate irony that Parker Lee is the one who saves Veronica from rape, when Veronica had denied her the same courtesy, whether she knew it at the time or not.

As Keith Mars breaks down the hotel room door, he's a little bitter that something as beautiful as poetic justice has to hurt so damn much. But as Logan's fist connects with his jaw for the fifth time in rapid succession, he smiles inwardly. Because even though this all ended exactly the way he'd suspected it would, it was a fun ride. And as soon as he gets out of here, he'll finish what he started. One day he will have Veronica Mars.

And won't it be sweet that her insistence on pursuing him will be what drives everyone away, leaving her alone and vulnerable to him?