Stupid Things Parents Say

By: Matrix Taylor

Type: Humor/Parody/Family

Rated: T (Because of the language…I think)

Anime: Digimon

SUMMARY: As parents we have said things to our children that in that specific moment needed to be said. But sometimes, as husband and wife, you will back out of that moment and look at each other and go, "What the hell did you just say?" So, here is a list of things that the digidestines, as parents, have said to their children and probably hope to stop saying sometime in the future. LOL

Each part of the story is told from the point of view of each digi destined. Each joke is not in order. I wrote according to inspiration.

Inspired by Jeff Dunham's Stupid Stuff Parents Say

DISCLAIMER: Digimon does not belong to me, but to their rightful owners & distributors. The jokes used for & in this fic do not belong to me but to Jeff Dunham. I am simply just borrowing his work.

Your Panties Are On Backwards

Right after defeating Malismyotismon, Sora and I ended up married and having two-in-a-half wonderful kids. Our daughter, Mie, is five years old and the spitting image of her mother. Mie has auburn hair as well as some of her mother's personality. She just simply inherited my blue eyes. Her brother, Kai, took more after me with somewhat spiky blonde hair. He only had Sora's eyes. So in turn, our kids turned out to look more like us when we were little, with some slight changes of course. Sora often joked that the baby she carries may turn out to look like T.K.

I was not amused…

Anyway, as all parents do, Sora and I go through "stages" with each of our children. For example, when Mie was three, she went through what Sora and I dubbed "the panties stage". Mie was smart, even for a three year old. However, she just did not seem'
to grasp the fact that your panties just do not go a certain way. The poofie part always ended up in the front and the cartoon character's face was stretched in the back. We did not discourage her because we knew she just did not get it. Our son…however…did it on purpose.

So everyday, Sora and I always ended up telling her, "Your panties are on backwards."

One day, I actually thought of something brilliant. Okay, so it was a "spare of the moment" thing but it worked! One day I simply bent down so that we were sort of face-to-face and I said, "Sweetie, do you really want to poop on Tinkerbell's face?"

Solved that problem! Of course, it took us awhile to figure out that the reason she puts her Barney underwear on was so she can poop on Baby Bop's face! Thank goodness when that stage ended! Hey you can't win them all!