Stupid Things Parents Say
By: Matrix Taylor
Rated: T (Because of language)
SUMMARY: As parents we have said things to our children that in that specific moment needed to be said. But sometimes, as husband and wife, you will back out of that moment and look at each other and go, "What the hell did you just say?" So, here is a list of things that the digidestines, as parents, have said to their children and probably hope to stop saying sometime in the future. LOL.
Each part of this story is told from the point-of-view of a digi-destined. Each joke is not in order. I wrote according to inspiration. This one I heard my aunt say to her kids and thought it would be a good one to add to the collection.
Inspired by Jeff Dunham's Stupid Stuff Parents Say
DISCLAIMER: Digimon does not belong to me, but to their rightful owners & distributors. The jokes used in this fic do not belong to me but to Jeff Dunham. I am simply borrowing his work.
Chapter 3: Get Your Sister Out Of Your Mouth
Being a mother is a full-time job even though I do not get paid for it. My husband, Ken Ichijouji, and his digimion, Wormmon, works as detectives. When did this happen? A few years after, with the help of the other digidestines, we defeated Malismyotismon. Now we have all grown older and doing our own thing. Nevertheless, we stil keep in touch and get together. Even they have children.
Ken and I have one daughter, who is now a pre-teen, and two sons. Our daughter, Yuna, has Ken's dark blue hair, but more of a spitting image of me. Our first son, Sam, is ten years old with short, light purple hair. He takes the color of his hair from me. However, he sort of takes after Ken too. Sam was named after Ken's older brother. Lastly is our current son, Kensei, who is just a baby. He also seem to have Ken's dark hair.
Ken and I both try and raise respectable children. Sometimes we disagree, but, we eventually work it out. Anyway, like all parents, even we deal with the different stages our kids go through. For example, Ken and I both had to go through the teething stage with both Sam and Yuna when they were much younger. It is a stage that Ken and I both will have to go through with Kensei when he finally starts teething. The teething stage with Yuna wasn't as bad. She was just fussy. My husband says she got that from me...I disagreed. I think when Sam began teething when he was about one years old was more interesting because that is when he started sticking everything in his mouth! Whatever he had in his hands ended up in his mouth including human parts such as fingers and toes. It wasn't so bad, until Sam grew his first two teeth on the bottom and top right in the front of his mouth. That's when the trouble started...
The first time I remember saying this line was during a trip to the supermarket with the kids. Our third son, Kensei, was yet to be born. Sam was riding inside of the buggie in the little seats they have for toddlers. Yuna was five and rode on the side of the buggie, holding on tight. I wouldn't allow her to do this at first, afraid that she might fall off and hurt herself, but after awhile I find that it was easier to keep up with her. Plus, even then, Yuna was a very smart young woman. Anyway. we were all in the meat isle and I was getting meat when suddenly I heard Yuna scream ow!
"Mama! Make him stop!" Yuna cried as Kensei grabbed a handful of her already long hair and put it in his mouth.
"Kensai! Get your sister out of your mouth! She's not food!" I scold him.
Instantly, he let go of Yuna and makes a whining sound.
I walked over and stick the pacifer in his mouth before going back to choosing the meats I wanted to buy. We got out of the supermarket in one piece. Nevertheless, I thought that after that day, I would never going to say that phrase again. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Not only was I finding myself saying, but Ken began saying it as well. Worse, we'll be saying it for a few more years given the fact that we have yet another one on the way.
Aw well! You win some! You lose some!