Same writing style as my last oneshot (Something Like Flying). I love using the parenthesis to communicate more the honest side of the character.
And she's gorgeous and perfect and everything you've ever wanted but she won't even look at you. You want those emerald eyes to twinkle your way, you want those rose stains on her cheeks be from your kisses, you want that laugh to be a response to something that you said. But it never is.
Maybe one day the two of you will be together, but she seems determined to prevent that. Sometimes you just want to reach across the desk (it seems so long right now) and shake her thin shoulders, shake them until she understands that something more, some force bigger than just hormonal attraction, is pushing you two together (oh how you wish she'd stop resisting).
She's always in your thoughts, her fiery hair and gemstone eyes. You can't rid yourself of her (and lord knows you've tried). Your mates all laugh at your infatuation (what right do they have? They've never been in love before). You want her so badly but she is so bent on pushing you away.
Your future is hazy but you're convinced you can see her in it, but she won't take any of that crap from you (you can't really blame her. You'd like if she'd, just once, listen to you without thinking your words were part of some humiliating joke. You wish that she'd just give you one chance to prove yourself, but she won't, so you're stuck here without her (what a lonely existence).
You sit by your window waiting for an owl to come but it never shows up. You want a sign that she may be changing her mind (is she?) but it's not coming. You can't wait forever, you want to live for once, but you just can't get over her.
When she moves, you watch. You know her quirks, her loves; you know what she eats for breakfast (toast, no butter) and what her favorite subject is (Slughorn's potions class). You know so much about her but she won't allow herself to get close to you. Could she be afraid of what she might find?
You endure endless hours of teasing; of watching her look with distaste (she wears it beautifully). You wonder when it's all going to end. You hope it happens and soon. But the little doubt of 'will she ever feel the same way about you as you do for her?' wiggles it's way into your mind whenever you think of her thick hair or luscious lips or temptress eyes.
You try to forget her, you really do, but she's always there (well, that's what you get for sharing a boarding school with her). It's like a band-aid over a healing wound, the minute it begins to scab over, she pulls it off and you have to start again.
You would never admit it, but you're scared. You're scared because you are beginning to hate her for doing this to you. You're scared because you are giving up. Before at least she knew you, even as a pain in the ass (what if she forgets you?). How many girls have you denied while picturing her face in your mind? How many sleepless nights, just waiting for that 'yes' that isn't coming?
So, there you are. You're done. You know you're done with this, with her (but what if now's the time. What if she finally loves you?). You are so done, so over her heartbreakingly beautiful face, when you hear her footsteps behind you.
"Hey James," She whispers, "ask me again." And you do, but this time she says 'yes' and you are mind-numbingly happy. (Just maybe you weren't quite over her).
I'm kind of in love with this, what do you think? Is the style a little too much? It's certainly unconventional, but I really like it.