A/N: I tried to get this out in a timely manner! For the record, I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, nor Descendants of Darkness/Yami no Matsuei (If I did the anime would be MUCH longer) nor do I own War and Peace or anything else I happen to mention in this fic! k thanks. Nekoraven out!

Chapter 2: Meeting the new guy.

Time: D-day, after school. Location: Literary club room All was quiet. Too quiet.

I waited in apprehension with Koizumi and Miss Asahina in her cute little maid outfit, while Yuki read War and Peace. We were very, very afraid. To be honest, I hadn't seen the new guy yet, since he wasn't in Haruhi and mine's class, but apparently Koizumi met him.

"Well, he just seemed like an average high school guy to me," he said, smirking, "Maybe you won't be the only normal mortal in the club anymore!"

Yeah, right. No one who catches Haruhi's attention is normal.

Wham! Down comes the door, as Haruhi roughly shoved a dirty-blond haired boy into the room, laughing and bouncing up and down with excitement. The poor guy lost his balance and fell face-down onto the floor, Haruhi making no motion to help but instead putting her foot down on his back and claiming victory.


"Argh...! Get off me! What the heck is this?"

"Hisoka-kun, this is the SOS Brigade, founded by yours truly!" She winked, and giggled menacingly.

Hisoka began to get up and dust hinself off. "SOS Brigade... what a stupid name..."

Haruhi's expression said, 'oh no you didn't!' but didn't skip a beat.

"Well the fact that you don't love it proves that you are not an official member and are therefore inferior and insignificant!"

"Hey!" he growled.

"So I propose a a democratic poll! Now everyone vote Hisoka into the club or you'll get the death penalty!"

This... is a democratic poll? Koizumi raised his hand immediately, along with an apathetic Yuki. Mikuru quickly realized what was going on and thrust her hand into the air nervously.

"Oh, Ky~on..." Haruhi sang sweetly. Gosh darn it, I don't even care about the 'death penalty' but I don't wanna destroy the universe as we know it either. I sighed, and also raised my hand.

Haruhi beamed. "Well then, looks like it's settled!" She stepped to the side of the new boy, who was just a bit taller than her. "You've been drafted, and now have no choice but to join our club!" She slapped him hard on the back, almost knocking him to the ground yet again.

"Ooh~" Haruhi mused, grabbing Hisoka's face and pulling is closer to hers. "Hey, this guy's a cutie! Yay! We have another mascot!" She started bouncing with glee, and Hisoka backed away very quickly. I guess some girls would consider this guy kinda attractive, with his light hair, green eyes, thin build. I must say, I feel a little intimidated. And will not forgive him if he makes any pass at Miss Asahina.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Hisoka shouted. Sometimes I wonder too, my friend.

Haruhi ignored him. "This is Itsuki, the SOS Brigade Official Second-in-Command!"

"Greetings, Hisoka-kun. I hope we can be friends."

"Hmph" was the reply.

"And that's Mikuru, our moe mascot!"

"I- I- I- nice... to meet you..."

"So wait, you just designate random people as human mascots? Do you always use people like this?" Yes, Hisoka, she does. You'll get used to it. Then he turned to me and said, "You know, I don't think I will!" What? Can he tell what I'm thinking? I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Haruhi managed to locate yet another person with supernatural powers to draft into this stupid club... Hisoka looked surprised. "'Another'?"

Of course, this little half-silent conversation was entirely overlooked by the oh-so-grand Haruhi Suzumiya.

"And that's Yuki! She... well, she kinda came with the room!"

"Hi," said the bibliophile not looking up.

"And that's Kyon! I forget what his real name it but it's not like it matters anyway!" she finished, and shoved a very confused transfer student in my general direction. "You all stay here! I need to go get something for Hisoka..." she said ominously. Oh, joy.

Like a whirlwind she was out the door, and I could have sworn I heard a key turn in the lock on the other side.

Hisoka was practically shaking in frustration. "Will someone please tell me... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"Well," Koizumi began, "this is a rather long and complicated story. Miss Suzumiya and an amazing interest in all things related to aliens, time travelers, espers, slider, and other supernatural things, so it is our mission-"


"Well, Miss Suzumiya likes to search for supernatural things and try to attract them..."

Hisoka looked confused and worried. "...How did she know?"

We all blinked. "Know what now?"

"Um... nothing."

Koizumi returned to his calm, smiling exterior, and continued. "Outside of school we hold searches for various paranormal activity, and quite honestly our normal meetings here tend consist of myself and Kyon playing games and Mikuru serving tea in costumes."

"Why in costumes?"

I sighed, "It was decreed so by the Great Brigade Leader. You may have to go through something similar, you know."

"Not happening."

"Trust me. When Haruhi is involved, it will happen." inserted Koizumi, causing a nervous look to appear on Hisoka's face.

Yuki suddenly shut her book and spoke. "I believe we should tell Hisoka the whole story. The data I can gather says that he is not, in fact, a normal being."

"R-really?" sputtered Mikuru, and almost dropped her teacup.

"Hm..." began Hisoka, "Then obviously, neither are you guys."

There was a silence. Well, what's one more freak in the brigade? Except you, Miss Asahina. You're perfect. "Okay, after Haruhi kidnapping you and everything, I think we owe an explanation, right guys?"

There was a feeling of general consent in the air. I opened my mouth to speak when Miss Asahina began talking.

"I'm Mikuru! I've been sent from the future, you see, because Miss Suzumiya changed the universe three years ago. Not we can't travel back any further so I was sent to investigate! And that's Itsuki. He's an esper. He fight monsters in closed space that Haruhi's subconcious makes. He became an esper three years ago, when the world as we know it was created! And that's Yuki. She's not very sociable, because she has no emothions because she's an alien who was sent to investigate after that thing three years ago. And that's my friend Kyon! He's Miss Suzumiya's chosen one."

Have I ever heard Mikuru talk so much?

"A... time traveler? Can you tell anything us about what happens in the future?"

She giggled. "That's classified!"

And so, who the heck are you, Hisoka Kurosaki? He obviously knew nothing about the little incident three years ago, judging by his expression, which means he's not sent to somehow investigate Haruhi, but Yuki says he's not human.

"Well, I suppose since you all have been honest I have to tell you. I'm... an empath."

Uh... a what?

"I can read people's emotions, and occasionally thoughts, Kyon." Oh dang, This may cause some problems from time to time. "Okay, I told you my secret, and let me tell you I have no idea what the hell is going on here. If it wasn't for my powers, and didn't feel your honesty, there's no way I'd believe any of you, got that?"

Itsuki nodded. "It's okay, we understand. Now I'm assuming you're here to investigate Haruhi?"

"Why the hell would I want to investigate that creepy girl?" he shouted, "Look, I can sense her plans, and my intention is to get out of this stupid club as soon as possible!" Sorry, kid. With Haruhi, that ain't gonna happen. "What? Why not?"

"Well..." began Itsuki, "If you make her unhappy, the universe as we know it could possibly end."

Again, silence.

"What the hell?"

"You see, Hisoka," I attempted to explain, "Haruhi is considered, and proved to be, by various beings, a Temporal Distortion, a Self-evolution, and God."

"So... is she the one behind all the strange deaths?" he asked. Not it was our turn to be confused.

"Deaths?" exclaimed a frightened Mikuru?"

"The Data Entity and, by extension, myself, is not aware of any unusual deaths in this area."

"What are you talking about? They've all been at this school!"

This was getting odd. What was he talking about?

Hisoka's eyes widened. "Oh God... she's back..."

"HELLO AGAIN, EVERYONE!" Hauhi shouted as she burst into the room, holding shopping bags. Hisoka started to back away, apparently seeing something in her thoughts... Haruhi was talking very fast and excitedly. "Okay-so-I-realized-that-none-of-Mikuru's-costumes-would-work-since-Hisoka's-a-guy-and-therefore-has-no-boobs-so-I-went-SHOPPING!-and have now returned!"

"NOT A CHANCE!" Hisoka yelled, diving for the door, before he was tackled by Haruhi. "What the hell is wrong with your mind?" Haruhi's response was a very sinister giggle. It is in rar moment like there I am actually glad girls don't find me very attractive. Mikuru, glad not to be the subject of Haruhi's harassment, inched out the door, and the rest of us of course followed for decency's sake.


And so Haruhi came into posession of yet another human dress-up doll, and supernatural SOS Brigade.




When we returned roughly ten minutes later, we beheld a very red empath in neko cosplay, apparently being forced to learn our official dance. All was normal in the SOS Brigade... not.

A/N: O.o What was Hisoka-kun saying about mysterious deaths at the school? Why doesn't anyone know about it, not even Yuki with infinite data at her command? And what will happen when a new teacher arrives? PLEASE REVIEW! Reviews mean I finish the story, lack of reviews mean NINJA KAT WILL FIND YOU! Oh and PLEASE REQUEST COSTUMES FOR HISOKA AND/OR MIKURU. Hee hee hee...