A/N: I promise I'll do better at updating! Consider it an early Christmas gift! Hope you enjoy it!
My phone vibrated in my hand. The screen flashed 'Edward' as he attempted to call again. I pressed the ignore button and flipped over on my back.
It had been four and a half weeks since I had last talked to Edward. Yes, four whole weeks. Or, to be exact, thirty-two days, six hours, and 15 minutes since that morning in his room. But it's not like I was counting.
Since then I had been feeling pretty crappy. Not because I was feeling bad about what I said to him, but because I freaking missed him. After the much-needed cry session with Alice, Rose, Angela—I had to be feeling really bad if Angela was there with Alice and Rose, they don't usually hang out—, Ben, and Jerry, I had felt a little better. I had told them the whole story and just let it all go, smearing snot and tears on each of their shirts and some point in time.
But now that the super emotional period of the break up (Is break up the right word? We technically never dated.) was over, now I just missed him. I could feel the burning in my chest every now and then when I saw something that reminded me of him. If I saw a guy that had the same shirt as Edward, or had hair the same color as Edward's, the burn would flare up and I'd find myself fighting back tears of anger. Oh yes, I was still pissed at him; very much so, in fact.
Of course, hours after we had our fight, he texted me saying he was sorry and to please forgive him, and could we just please get together and talk about it. But I ignored him. Then he had gradually progressed to calling me. Ignore call. I was completely serious about us being over about everything.
There were the nights where I really missed our night time conversations, where I'd snuggle down under my covers and we'd text each other until we fell asleep. Angela was really good about being there when she'd hear me crying at night.
My phone vibrated again. This time it was a text message. 'I'm outside your door. Can we talk please? -Edward'
I felt my heart start to hammer inside my chest. He'd never bothered to actually come over to talk to me. I can't handle this. This isn't good. Oh no oh no.
"Angela, he's outside." I sat up on my bed, "What should I do?"
She stretched on her bed, placed a bookmark in her book, then got up. "Talk to him."
My eyes bugged. "I can't! I- I'm still upset with him." I swung my legs off the bed.
"Of course you are. But you're never going to get over it until you talk to him. So just do it." She spoke in a matter-of-fact tone as she shrugged into her coat.
I just stared. I couldn't believe she was leaving me. She was forcing me to do this in her own 'Angela-never-wants-to-hurt-anybody way'.
She reached for a beanie. "And, Bella, just talk to him this time. No sex."
My mouth dropped. I'd never heard Angela talk to me so sternly in her life. I got up, following her to the door. "Angela, where are you going? It's like, 9:00 on a Monday night. Don't leave me here!"
Angela sighed, hand reaching for the doorknob. She turned back to me, a small smile on her face. "I'm sure Eric could use somebody to study with."
I was silent. My eyes plead with her to not leave me. Don't force me to face this situation. Just ignore it. That's how all the greatest problems in history were solved, right?
"Think before acting, Bella. I'll see you later." She gave me a quick hug before stepping out the door. She closed it immediately behind her, so I didn't catch a glimpse of Edward.
I put my ear to the door to see if she would say anything to him. "She doesn't want to talk to you." I heard her muffled voice through the door. It wasn't biting or harsh (Angela doesn't have a harsh bone in her body), but as if stating a fact.
My breath hitched as I heard Edward's voice through the door. "I know, but—"
"But nothing, Edward. Fix this." Angela cut him off. Okay, maybe Angela doesn't have a harsh bone in her body, but she could be stern when she needed to.
Edward didn't say anything as I heard Angela's footsteps start to fade.
Leaning on the door, I tried to control my heartbeat That was completely useless, because it started to go haywire again when I heard Edward's voice call through the door.
"Bella, it's me. Edward." Well, really? I thought, You don't say. "Can we talk?"
The silence dragged for a while. "What do you think we're doing?" Yes, I was being snippy, but I was still mad.
I thought I heard him sigh on the other side of the door. "Face to face, please? Can I come in?"
"Why should I let you in? I think the last time I let you in it turned out pretty badly."
It was quiet for a moment. "Because I miss you." His voice had dropped in volume a little, so I strained to hear him. "I miss touching you. And I mean like, pushing your hair behind your ear, or rubbing your arms when you're cold. I miss holding your hand."
Screw him and his romantics.
After silence on my end, Edward starting again. "A-and, I miss talking to you, Bella." I noticed his voice had a desperate undertone to it, one I'm sure he'd be embarrassed to know I noticed. "I miss being able to call you and talk about anything, and being able to joke with you, and I miss our good night texts." He hesitated before sighing. "I miss my best friend."
The burn that had taken residence in my chest flared to life again. I tried to keep my voice steady, but it was already becoming a struggle. "You don't mean that."
"I do, Bella. But I can't make you understand how much through this door."
I sighed. What's the worst that could happen by just letting him in?
I stood up and opened the door. I had to suppress a gasp when I saw him. His hair looked like his hand had been there permanently these four weeks. His eyes were bloodshot. I briefly wondered if it was because he was tired or if he'd been crying. Probably both. Edward's appearance mirrored mine: pants and a t-shirt, with dark circles under the eyes to match.
Quickly turning on my heel, I headed for my bed. If he wanted to talk, he would do most of the talking. I sat with my back to the wall and watched him close the door and sit at the foot of my bed.
The room was quiet. We held each others gaze. Finally he broke the silence, clearing his throat. "Thank you for letting me in."
I didn't say anything.
He took a deep breath after a moment. "Look, Bella, I'm sorry, and I know you know that, but I don't think you understand how sorry I am. I've missed you so much, these last few weeks have been hell for me."
I snorted. "For you? Imagine being the girl who told her best friend that she loved him, slept with him, then woke up to find out he doesn't want her. That would just suck, wouldn't it?"
Edward made a face as he cringed. "Okay, yeah, so it was bad for you too."
"But about that," he started again. "You were absolutely right about what you said, and I couldn't help but think about it the whole time we didn't talk."
"About the fact that I've always been there for you, but I've never been good enough to be the one for you? Is that what you've been thinking about?"
"That's where you're wrong, though, Bella. You are the one for me. I know that now. And I know that I messed up. I did what I wanted without thinking about how you would feel. And I'm sorry for that." He scooted a little closer to me, closing the gap between us. Our knees were almost touching now.
When I opened my mouth I detected a little waver in my voice. "I've missed you so much, Edward. I lost a best friend. But I'm not going to sit around and wait for you."
"How's that saying go? 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder?' Well, in this case, absence makes the dumbass come to his senses." I saw the corner of his lips lift as if he was trying to hold back a smile. "And I know that I want to try to have a relationship with you."
I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. "And if you say no to that, I at least want to be friends. I'm not willing to throw our friendship out the window for a fling in college. Do you forgive me?"
I took a deep breath. Edward reached for my hand, weaving his fingers through mine and squeezing. "I forgive you, Edward." I tried to take another deep breath, but this one hitched. Oh shit, here come the tears. I hate crying. "But I don't know if we can do the relationship, Edward. It's just so much drama going on with it. Maybe we're better off just being friends. I don't know..." I stopped, tears slipping down my cheeks.
Edward leaned forward, his thumb brushing the tears away from my face. "I want to be the one to wipe away all your tears. Hell, I want to be the one to stop the tears from coming. I just want us to try, Bella. Just try it. And if it doesn't work, then we can go back to being friends."
I took another gulping breath. I wanted to try so bad, but I couldn't let myself do it until I heard it. "I want to, but I need to hear it first, Edward. I need to know." I placed my hands over his, where his were gently cupping my cheeks.
He gazed into my eyes. "I love you, Bella." He paused briefly. "I am in love with you, Bella. What Tanya and I had is over, long gone. All I want is you now."
A sigh mixed with a sob escaped me. I closed my eyes, still holding his hands to my cheeks. I felt his weight shift on the bed, then his lips were on mine. And the kiss wasn't probing, or lustful (well, maybe a little), or urgent. It was sweet. We had forever to kiss, and nobody to worry about but ourselves.
Finally, he pulled away from me. I let go of his hands as I let out a watery chuckle. "Screw you, Edward, for making me cry." I swiped at my cheeks.
He pulled me into a hug, enveloping me into his arms and holding me against his chest. "I'm sorry, Bella. I won't ever do it again unless it's from happiness." His chest rumbled as he laughed.
We lay down on the bed. I turned so that we were face to face. "So," I began, "When did you know that you were in love with me?"
"Uhm, promise you won't laugh, but the only reason I started talking to you in high school was because I thought you were the cute and quiet new girl." Edward said quietly.
"Nope," I giggled, "Gotta laugh at that. That's so sweet, high school crush." I poked him in his side as I giggled.
"Aw, whatever." He swiped at my hand playfully. "But it didn't get serious until we were in college. I didn't know how to handle it, or how you would take it, so I just denied I ever felt that way."
I grabbed for his hand, winding my fingers in-between his. "It was the same for me. How ironic that we both denied it to ourselves because we didn't know how the other would take it."
Time ticked by as we enjoyed ourselves in silence for a while. Then I spoke again. "You know that this was the first time you said 'I love you' to me? In context, I mean."
Edward furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah, I guess it is." He pressed a kiss to her temple. "But I do. I really, really do." His lips moved softly against my skin, sending shivers down my spine.
I decided we had business to take care of. "What about Tanya?" Of course, I didn't want to bring her back into our moment, but it had to be taken care of.
Edward smiled. "Tanya and I broke up two weeks ago."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Yeah, she noticed how I was acting differently. She asked why and I told her about our fight, and she got pissed at me because I was getting upset over another girl. Even though this girl was my best friend. So she left." He exhaled a long breath. "She already knew something was going on between us anyway."
"What?" I gasped, "How?"
He looked at me with a serious expression on his face. "Can you believe that girls get pissed when you yell another girl's name in bed?"
My mouth dropped open in shock. "You didn't..." I whispered.
He smiled. "Yeah, I did." He ran his hand through his hair, looking sheepish. "But be glad that it was yours."
I couldn't help but laugh as I pictured the look on Tanya's face. I imagine any girl would be upset if that happened, but it was like sweet revenge if it happened to Tanya.
After the laughter downed down, we cuddled for a moment longer when I noticed that Edward had begun to fidget a lot.
"Bella," he began, sitting up, "You know I love you."
I looked at him curiously as I stretched and settled into a sitting position.
"But now that we're together, I want us to be completely honest with one another. I'll start."
I encouraged him on, not knowing where this was going, but feeling my stomach sinking, seeming to foreshadow the next moments.
"Bella," he took my hand, "Tanya is pregnant."
A/N: I'm feeling the hatred I'm sure you guys are beaming my way. But seriously, we couldn't just have the story over like that could we? Just don't get too angry. *dodges thrown objects* Okay, okay, so is this a deal breaker or what? Tell me yo thoughts!