Genre: Humour/Crack
Pairing/Characters: Sam/Gabriel, Dean
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Kripke & co.


"Aw, maaan!" Sam complained as the easily recognizable sound of a police siren cut through the air. "I told you you should slow down!"

Dean cursed, gritted his teeth pulled the car to a stop on the edge of the highway, as the police officer on the bike motioned them to pull over.

The cop parked his bike behind the Impala and walked up to the driver's side of the car. Dean rolled down the window and put on his best innocent smiley face.

The cop wore sunglasses and looked about as nice and friendly as that morphing terminator guy, Sam thought.

"License and registration, please," he said to Dean in an almost growly voice.

Dean took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out his fake driver's license, while Sam handed him the registration papers from the glow compartment.

The cop scrutinized the license and registration, taking his time, as if he was doing a tarot divination trying to discover if Dean had a criminal record. Sam cursed all cops for being able to make him feel guilty, even when he hadn't done anything wrong.

The cop handed the license and papers back to Dean, and said, "If you could open the trunk, please." Well, at least he was polite…

Dean got out of the car; he couldn't just refuse.

Sam stayed in the car, not having any reason to get out. Please don't be too observant and notice the false bottom, he thought. He heard the trunk open, a moment of silence, long enough that he began to worry, then the sound of a very familiar voice.

"Sugar, anyone?"

Sam immediately got out and hurried to the back of the car.

Both Dean and the cop were staring into the trunk in stunned surprise.

In the trunk, on a red, satin covered duvet, Gabriel lounged casually, as if he'd been there all along and this was a normal thing for him to do.

"Well, hello there, kiddo," Gabriel drawled when he saw Sam. Then he sucked on the lollipop he was holding, in a very suggestive way, and waggled his eyebrows.

Sam could only stare, completely mind-boggled. Not only because Gabriel had shown up in the trunk, but because the only thing he was wearing was a pink, glittery band wrapped around his dick, tied off with a neat bow.

"Surprise unbirthday, Sammy! Wanna unwrap your present?" he leered with a huge smirk.

"What the hell is this?" the cop shouted.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Party pooper! Shoo!" He waved his hand, and the cop and his bike disappeared.

Dean finally unfroze and clapped a hand over Sam's eyes. "Don't look, Sam! Oh, sweet Jesus, I'll never get rid of this image…" he whimpered.

"But, Dean!" Sam whined, struggling to remove Dean's hand, but Dean was clinging on as if his life depended on it.

"Wanna go somewhere else and play some unbirthday games, Sammy?" Gabriel said, his tone of voice not leaving much doubt as to what games he had in mind.

"Hellyeah!" Sam said hurriedly, before Dean could clap a hand over his mouth and shut him up.

With a SNAP they were gone, leaving Dean alone with the Impala.

"Sonofabitch!"