Welcome to the world of Stockholm syndrome
The world has changed either for the better or for the worst. War was still in our blood. It will never end no matter if peace was to be restored on this Earth. Since man made weapons and grew minds throughout our evolution, it really all comes down to your own opinion. We all see death, sometimes we do not want to see it first-hand. It scares us to watch a man die before our eyes. Could we hold it in and not yell out our frustrations? No one is strong enough to handle it. Trained to kill or not, you would have to kill everything that makes you human. Maybe that is what soldiers do in a time of war.
Then there are some who accept death.
I for one wished for a time where I could not see the light of the next day that holds for us. If I chose a moment to die, I am sure I would have took that chance. I am no coward. I am just not fit to see one die. How would I kill myself? Would I have the strength and the mental capacity to end it all because I could not sleep at night? Maybe I could of. Everything I knew about life was slowly falling apart.
I came from a world that felt like that. I was being punished for no reason, other than the fact that I, along with so many others, were just caught in the crossfire of a raging war. Treated like animals made all of us feel less human. We were refusing to give in until beaten to submission like dogs waiting to eat a piece of meat because we were starving. We all felt like those dogs in a kennel. We felt the loss of our humanity slowly fading away into a dark void. We all seen the darkness that the world has to offer.
Sometimes I wish that I did not see it. If I have not seen what I've seen, would I want to keep my sight? Maybe I would rather wish to go blind then to have those memories in my mind. No one would want to see what not only I, but what the people who were tortured and going through as much pain as I have seen.
I was out of the few who has accepted death in my young life. Those who did accept their fate… I was told that three women committed suicide on the day that I left. Too much stress went through their minds on that day of their death. Their children will grow up not knowing who their father or mothers were. Poor children. They are innocent and have yet to see the ugly side of life.
The sun was out bright and early on this day. No cloud in the sky, no birds were flying around gracefully enjoying the freedom of flight, everything just seemed like a dead wasteland. Black smoke from fires that still burned with life can be seen destroying all in its path or has died long ago after the fighting was over that turned into ash.
Nothing around the cities were alive, except for the occasional random bird in a tree flying because it got scared by the vehicle engine. I have never seen so much destruction in my life. Only in movies or on the television have I seen the world plague under so much chaos. I never thought I would live to see the day where my home was like a ghost town.
It made me sad to think that many of the people had to evacuate because of this damn war they are fighting. What kind of world do we live in?
John told me that the fighting was now taking place on the East coast and they were evacuating civilians to a camp somewhere in the desert. That is where we were heading. To the safe haven of the desert where the fighting has yet to come over or that the enemy does not want to fight in open territory. I felt kind of uneasy about that thought about going into another deserted place. Away from the fights, away from bullets, away from all that is death.
Every mile leads us to another empty place. I was beginning to think that life was now dead here. I could not get the people who once lived here out of my mind. They lost everything that was so important to them. They lost having a home with a roof over their heads. No safety, this place was now a war zone.
It was a long boring plan ride back into the United States. I wanted to be the last of the survivors to be sent home. Only because I wanted the women and their children to get to their loved ones as soon as possible which gave me more time to bond with some of the guys there. Task Force 141, yeah that is what they were called. Each of the solder's were very different only because they came from different backgrounds. It truly amazed me to see how they all got along.
My leg has gotten better, it hurts every now and then but I had painkillers so it wasn't all too bad.
I looked over to the driver side. John kept his stern eyes on the road with debris scattered and thrown everywhere. There was a firearm lying across his lap. I felt kind of timid when I saw the weapon in his hands. John looked very different when I saw him after our little conversation. Yes, I felt bad but I had to say what I needed to say. It really wasn't meant for but I was tired and angry. Mostly tired I guess. Seeing the soldier, how I noticed his muscles underneath the short sleeves of his attire made me look the other way.
My eyes looked away from the man and my head turned back to the seats behind us. Boris lay on the seats, sleeping away. I could not help but smile at him, but the thought of mine and Valik's conversation was still fresh in my mind. We said our goodbyes and the next day he was gone. The soldier's on the base were looking for him but he just vanished into thin air.
Feeling tired, my eyes were very heavy with sleep. I wanted to sleep, I needed the rest. I could not help but smile at the thoughts of sleeping on a bed. Eating a hot meal. I am glad that I gained back the weight that I have lost. I have meat on my bones now instead of seeing a walking skeleton. I feel cleaner my hair isn't matted and covered in dirt. I feel like the weight on my shoulders is finally off.
We have been in the car for hours it seems. Passing cities in ruin or open roads. John and I were quiet the whole ride, only giving each other glances here and there with small smiles. It was only then that the car came to a stop out in the middle of nowhere. Trees were the only things surrounding us. John turned off the engine. Taking the keys and placing them in his pocket he quickly got out of the driver side and rushed over to my door side.
I kept my glance on the soldier as he placed his hand on the door to open it. Once I got out in the open wilderness, I knew this was going to be the last time I was going to see the soldier by my side.
"This is where we would head our separate ways. Another car is going to be here to pick you up." He told me.
"Why can't you just drive me there?"
"I need to get back to my base as soon as possible." That was probably a lie.
I walked passed him to open the door for Boris. The happy dog jumped out and ran around the area. Sniffing his new territory that was unfamiliar to him Boris began to mark his own territory. I rolled my eyes on my new dog. Welcome to your new home, I thought.
John placed his hand on my shoulder making me jump a little. Feeling his hand on me I looked to him and I placed my own on his. I've always had a smile on my face whenever John or Valik, even Boris were around me. There may be a war going on but that doesn't mean that I should live in misery even if I have my feelings hurt.
"Well, am I going to see you again? I mean, I would like to see an old friend once this war is over." I did not look up to John, I could not look into his eyes. I knew he was slightly smiling down on me knowing that I had a slight blush growing. There was something in his eyes that told me that deep inside of him the words that I spoke to him just a few weeks ago had an effect on him.
"There is a chance that I might come back to see how you are doing." He said quietly.
I heard Boris running up towards us and licking my hand. Looking down at the German Shepard, the black eyes looked up at me with a wide dog smile. I looked straight at John who looked tired; just seeing the bags underneath his eyes. I know he has been through a lot and has so many stories to tell but I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed him towards me in a tight embrace.
I could feel his strong muscles tense from the quick reaction of the tight hug that I was giving him. My head on his chest, his heart was beating calmly. It was strong just like him. It pounded hard even underneath the fabric and the equipment that was across his chest. I was standing on my toes because this man was taller than me by a foot taller. Feeling hands on my back, his body bended forewords so I was off my toes as his hot breath was on my neck. It sent chills down my spine as he held me tight but that was the thing that sent me chills it was his breath.
Closing my eyes, I wanted to let my tears fall due to the fact that this man that was holding me in an embrace was the man that saved not only me but the people who were suffering. He grew on me, he was like Valik. Both of these men helped me in a way. It was hurting me that I was not going to see him either. The two men that I bonded with were going to be only in my memory. They will not fade, they will be with me.
"Thank you John. Thank you so very much. You have been such a good man to me. I am sorry that I gotten angry with you. I should have not done that. I thank you for saving me and the others. I am grateful to have met you."
I could feel his grip get tighter that it felt as if he was going to crush me to death. After on last tight embrace I felt him slowly back away from me. The scent of him was drifting up my nostrils and I could still feel him. There was a smile on his face. I could not help but smile back at the soldier. I am going to miss his strong accent, the way he spoke to me, the way he hugged me, my friend was not going to be at my side, my boys are not going to be with me anymore.
We were standing in front of another in complete silence. The wind was blowing softly. My hair was blowing with the movement of the invisible voice. Out in the distance, the sound of another vehicle was coming near. I looked up to the sky, just wondering what I am to find when I get to my new home. Long awaited rest is what awaits me. The soldier that stood in front of me kept his gaze straight on me. I paid no mind to it at all, I know him and I will meet again. I have a funny feeling about it but he will be surprised as to how.
I will be surprised to how we will meet. Boris began to run up the street as he began to bark as a vehicle stopped not far from us. Looking down to Earth, I knew it was time. Keeping my smile on my face I looked at John for the last time. Without saying a word, I quickly ran towards him. Despite the pain that still lingers in my leg I roughly wrapped my arms around him again. I heard him grunt with the action, he was surprised at the amount of force I placed on him.
"Thank you John. Please, come back to me." I whispered in his ear. With that said, I kissed him on the cheek and let him go. Not looking back to the stunned soldier I called to Boris and headed straight towards the vehicle.
That was the last time I saw John.
That was the last time John saw me.
That was the last time we saw each other.
John stood there without blinking it seems. He watched her walk away from him. Inside, the Captain was happy and glad. What she did though is what got him. He would have not guessed she would do that, it wasn't like Katie at all. Then again, she is back in the United States where she belongs. Her words still going through his mind. Come back to me… Come back to me… Why does she want him to do that? Wouldn't she want to say that to Valik?
He knew that the former guard was going to leave her heartbroken but after being with him in the room she came out looking stronger. Physically she still had the scars from all that she has seen. Her body was still tired, slowly but surely she gained back the weight that she has lost. She was looking a lot healthier to John. She was a lot stronger. When John walked into the room a few hours later, Valik was heading out of the room. Both men looked at one another, one a confused look while the other had a stern face.
'Where are you going?' John asked.
'I cannot be here. I have already caused enough trouble. I do not want to start anymore. I know that you're superiors want to interrogate me. It doesn't take a complete genius to figure out that they are after one thing. You tell them, I've told you all I know about Isaac.'
'They want to hear from you. You were, I guess the word is 'closest' to Isaac. His right handed man. Also you were his fighter for his corrupted needs. What best information can they get out of me if they hear from you, Valik. Use you're fucking brain for once.'
The former guard's jaw clenched tightly. His body stiffened at the Captains choice of words. His fists curled into a ball that and the vein in his temples were showing. He was angry, not scratch that he was pissed. How a man like John could come up and with so much as a word to tell him to use his brain but in fact John was the one who should use his. When he was first caught, it wasn't by force at all it was simply voluntary. Though some of his choices were not using his brain.
'What more do you want out of me? I've talked about the real man behind the warden name. I've done what I needed to do to protect Katie from further harm. Do your fucking job and fucking tell them that Isaac did not tell me shit about his laboratory. Isn't that what you guys wanted? Isn't that what you all have been after since the war began? Fuck me.' Valik threw a punch at the wall. 'I do not know where it is. I need to leave now in order to find it myself.'
John was shocked at this man. His thick Russian accent was so thick that he was messing up on some of his words but that did not tone down the volume of his rising voice. Was he seriously going to go out on a suicide mission? For what? He was going to get himself killed, let alone he was just one man.
'By yourself? Valik, what are you trying to prove? Nothing.'
'I am not trying to prove anything.' Valik was lying through his teeth. John wasn't so stupid as to see the snarl and his teeth being bared like a wild animal.
Without so much as a warning, Valik lunged straight at the wounded Captain. Both of the man's hands gripped the Captain by his shirt banging him against the wall. His sudden action only startled John though the soaring pain was seen in his face.
Growling like the animal he was- the animal he thought he wasn't- Valik let him go. Roughly pushing him back on the wall. There was a still in the air; both of the men did not look at one another in the eye. John was calm, collective even if he was in pain and was basically attacked. There really wasn't nothing more that the tired Captain could really do more or less say because he knew that the former guard was not one to listen to anyone anymore. This dog was now a feral one.
'Be on your fucking way and out of my fucking sight. I want nothing to do with any of you military fucks. I don't give a shit how the war plays out. Innocent lives have climbed to the thousands already- with that my two older brothers. Fight your fucking war. Kill more of my people if you want. You deal with your fucking orders while I deal with what I need to be done.' The blue in his eyes turned darker, more lifeless. John bounced off the wall and threw a hard punch at Valik. One that burned his cheek, but Valik was stiff as stone.
'Maybe I should of kicked your ass let alone killed you.'
'Hmph, really? If it wasn't for me you would not know anything that has to do with Isaac. You wouldn't even be alive. They would of killed you right then and there. A bullet would have been in your head and your body thrown over the walls where any wild animal would like to eat. Now stand back before I get even more pissed. I need to get the fuck out of here now.'
'You're an idiot.'
'Fuck you John.'
'Fuck me? Fuck you. You have no prior training in that kind of field. You are not military you have no weapons, no team, no respect for that matter.' John's accent was becoming sharper and heavier that Valik could barely understand the Scotsman. 'You will die in your own country. You're only… your nothing now.'
Before there were to be a full blown fight between the men, Valik straightened up. John knew that he still had the fire in his blue stare, the fire to wanting to beat him senseless. John could not deny that he too wanted to do the same if Valik were to run at him like some crazed mental patient. No doubt that both men would be equally matched. They both were strong no doubt about it. They had muscles that they gained from training, John may have been bigger than Valik by more muscles and more experiences though to the former guard it did not matter. Nothing mattered anymore. All the emotions that Valik had, they were all drained like they were not even inside of him anymore.
He has lost mostly everything he has ever cared for. Ever loved if that was the matter. Valik knew what he wanted he knew what he had to do. John was right but he could not admit it to the Captain. Unfinished business as he called it to himself. The only problem with it was that he had to go back to his village .Not looking the soldier in the eyes he pushed passed him. Both men's shoulder's bumping into one another.
'Just make sure Katie does not know where I am going. She needs to be home.'
Those were the last words that Valik spoke to John. After all the confrontation and the scars with the nasty words, Katie told John about what happened between them two and she said it was for the best. He knew that she was wondering why he left the way he did but she did not want to maybe hear the answer for she was hurt as it was.
Valik left the base quietly. Ghost and Price were amongst pissed off to the extreme but John told them that Valik snuck away undetected. He was not a threat to any of them. Yes he was controlled by Isaac though he showed no threat. Despite being ordered to be guarded John told Price that he was trustworthy and he will tell them all he knew.
John could only smile to himself that he took all the heat. Being a soldier, being a Captain, being a man was never an easy job to begin with.
'I will come back to you Katie.'
It felt like forever to reach the refugee camp. The ride with the soldier was long and boring with bitter silence. My eyes were only focused at the objects that were only being blurred as the car moved at a fast speed. The soldier, he did not talk; He didn't even look at me. I wouldn't mind talking to someone else maybe this guy had something interesting to talk about but he did not say anything. Sometimes I wished that I was more of a social person, heck even fun but I wasn't. I will be heading back to my family. I am just smiling at the thought of my mother and farther giving me a big hug. Knowing them, they will not let me go. They will practically suffocate me with their tight embrace. I do not blame them I have been gone even before the incident with the plane I have been away from them for far too long.
My heart was pounding in my chest that I was afraid that the soldier that was driving would hear it. Luckily for me he did not hear my beating heart. Boris seemed to be bored even more bored than me. He was lying on the seat I could hear his breathing. He was asleep, so much for having someone to talk to than again the soldier might think of me as crazy. He did not even talk to me to begin with. The only name that I got was 'Wilson'. That was his last name, though it was on his nametag on his uniform so I would have figured it out anyhow.
Hours passed us in the car and every mile seemed to take me closer and closer to home.
Home. The feeling that was growing inside of me was happiness. If I could describe it, I would. Anyone can describe that emotion in their own words whether it be a small child who got their first kiss or the birth of a newborn. Everyone has their own way of describing happiness. At this point I cannot say, I wish that I could but all I can think about is my family.
That is one word I thought I would never get the chance to say again. I thought I would somehow die before those words could escape from my cold chapped lips. I might be on the ground, cold and hungry without anyone to care and those words will slip out in a cold slur. I see now that I thank God, I am going to start thanking the big man upstairs that I am alive. I will say it again, thank God.
Without these words life would escape me.
He traveled a long way with little to no money in his pocket just to go from an area he knew nothing about, hitchhiking on roads that were deserted with cars that barely drove past or the driver did not want to pick up a stranger, staying at random stranger's houses if they felt generous enough to even offer him a meal knowing the war was far from them or finding an abandoned building to sleep to now entering the small community that he grew up in.
His tired eyes were forced to stay open, even his body was forced to keep moving despite his muscles cramping and sore from his long travel. The familiar place was now, not looking so familiar to him. What was once a vibrant place where one could walk the streets in safety without fear of being mugged was filled with so much gloom from the war. There were buildings that were broken down with the windows missing or shattered on the snow covered ground and signs barely recognizable to Valik.
The cold chill filled his lungs. The smell of something baking in the barker's building went up Valik's nostrils making his stomach growl with hunger. He knew he had to wait till he got home to eat a warm meal for the first time in months. If his mother was still around, seeing as the village was struck by war even he was not sure if she was there. The few people that still lived in the village were walking around, heavy coats clinging to their bodies for warmth; their eyes took glances at the stranger that walked with a bag over his shoulder and his hands in his pockets.
They seem to not recognize Valik at all. They were more guarded now even if he did speak Russian to them they would not lower their walls. Was it that bad? The war has made people who were once smiling, talking to one another turn into such hostile people. Why is it that war does that? It puts a lot of guard up for anyone if not everybody who sees it first-hand. Fuck the war was all Valik could say. These people did not know that he basically… Wait, he pretty much betrayed his own country to capture a warlord. The people will not know, they could not know.
If they supported the war, if they fought in the war, they could not know. Valik betrayed his own mother land. He was now a target was he really? Maybe he was just tired and thought of some secret agents that were in the prison were going to somehow going to escape their prison that John and his team kept them in and going to rat to the highest officers that a former guard took away a warlord who was offering weapons for money.
Fuck. The world was really funny on how it got people.
He could hear his boots crunch the snow underneath him. He felt like a dead man walking now. Lifeless, well he felt as if he were part of the walking dead. He kept his blue eyes to the ground, only seeing feet as people walked past him. They were very curious of him. There was no doubt that they were curious of the man that was walking their streets. Walking in a place that he called home… well it was once home. Now he did not know what the hell it was to him anymore.
'Welcome home.' He thought sarcastically to himself.
He came to a familiar house that he has not seen in months. The snow was barely melting off the roof but he knew that once he stepped through the gate he was awaiting a smile from his mother as she walked out of the house towards then a ten year old Valik. Today, he did not know what to expect. He was not sure if she was in there or not. The moment it took him to place his hands on the old fence his mind was going through so much.
The fence creaked open as he walked through it. The bag over his shoulder was placed at the doorstep. He took a moment to stare at the door in front of him. Knowing his mother, she would leave the door unlock always awaiting his return. It was a habit of hers since his brothers were killed and his father…
He froze as he heard a small voice from behind the door. It was soft, barely below a whisper but he could hear it perfectly because he knew his mother's voice. He could not forget it. Once the door began to open slowly Valik could only stand still.
"Hello?" She spoke again.
She knew, when he spoke, that was her son. Placing a hand over her mouth, she began to tremble. The woman, she was going blind but she could still see her son right before her eyes. There was a smile and a tear in Valik's eyes as he quickly embraced the woman who was his mother.
"I am home." He spoke in Russian.
We all move on in some way or another. It just depends how you want to move on. It is either you go forwards or keep going never looking back- because if you look back at your own past you really haven't moved on yet. Making life's choices are always within our own reach. There are bad times and then there are the times were the bad never really happens. We meet people, we fall in and out of love, we live with life in our hands or we just give up.
For those, for us who have chosen the choice of moving forwards we really do not know what life has in store for us. We came from a place that treated us like animals in small cages only to beat us senseless while the big dog and his followers were free to only hurt us. One dog was beaten to a point that he wanted to die but he stood up like a man and took a stand against the Alpha. Bringing him down step by step with the help of another dog to guide him. That dog was a man named Valik. The other dog was named John. If you beat a dog into submission that dog will only take so much kicking and swearing before he finally bites the hand that feeds him.
People can only take so much in their live's.
Isaac, the most wanted warlord is now rotting in his own prison cell. Not being fazed by anyone that tries to scare him, they try to intimidate him. He knows the game, he knows the rules, only that he still believes he calls the shots. He has yet to crack, to break because of a man that is as stubborn as him will not bow down at will. He bows to no man. I believe that he will if he was placed under more stressful circumstances. That man will break and he will suffer like we all have. I do not wish death upon him, that is not me that is not who I am. I do not hate someone, I could never hate. I could only say that I am angry for what he chose to become. How could a man with so much anger become a monster? I just hope when Isaac is on his deathbed that when he passes on I hope he gets it bad in the end. His sins are too great to be let go.
I on the other hand am growing stronger everyday now. Thinking of what could have been but those days are now long gone and I have my family at my side. I came from Hell and I surely do not want to go back. I do not want to see the flames no more. The war still is going on. Task Force 141 is still fighting the fight. John 'Soap' Mactavish…. Wherever he is now, may God protect him and his men.
Both John and Valik are strong men who have taught me so much by just being with them. I have become more aware of my surroundings, I helped them and they helped me.
My name is Kaite and today I am no longer a prisoner… I am free from all that has bound me.
Savin' Me- Nickelback
I do not own any of the Call of Duty characters.
I would like to thank all of my readers who have been keeping me going with your hits and reviews. Thank you so much for putting up with my ranting in my author's notes and my misspellings. Thank you for encouraging me to keep going to not give up on this story. You guys are the best out there whoever may read this and for those who have reviewed. You guys rock.
This is the end of Welcome to the world of Stockholm syndrome. Await the sequel.
Thank you again….. With much love shadowsghost.