Hello everyone. I've had this on my computer for sometime and decided to post it. I haven't been doing much updating of late so I thought this might be entertaining for some of you.

Legend of the seeker

Da'harens as usually run out of the bushes, Zed blasts a few with wizards fire before, grabbing several more peaches, they are really quite tasty but he would have preferred apples yet penilus raoul made the red ones poisons, before hearing the sound of the inevitable yell of war that Richard makes when fighting da'harens and of course leaving himself open, for Kahlan to yell "Richard."

As if his grandson would be killed by da'harens.

As if the Da'harmes would survive after killing his only grandson.

As if any one would possibly survive a non-hungry Zedd chasing after who ever killed his grandson

Zedd continued trotting up to where Richard was fighting the other Da'harns. Then he saw it

The 2ed worst thing a Seeker could do

There were several things a seeker wasn't suppose to do, after all he was the seeker and the world inevitably needed him or her to slay something or another.

One was to no fall in love with his confessor; witch after trying to be killed by so many people was inevitable, that he would fall in love with his confessor. After all confessors were very strong and oozed that 'I am unattainable, so you want me even though we can never be together.' Another reason why seekers were so rare, they didn't have children.

The preceding crime was consummating their love; witch would destroy them, seeker first then confessor. Idly he wondered why if a seeker needed a confessor even with the risks it posed.

This ranked quite high on the list.

"RICHARD!"

Kahlan froze, as did Richard looking around trying to find the other more horrid enemy, as Richard's life would soon end…

Neither expected Zedd to drop his precious peaches and run over to Richard shaking him. "What were you thinking!" He turned sharply to Kahlan, "You were suppose to watch him and not let him pick up any bad habits. Did you know about this?"

Kahlan blinked confused, "What Zedd."

"This, this-" Zedd fumbled for the right word, waving his hand at Richard, "-This jumping."

Richard started chuckling that would have exploded into full out laughter, followed shortly by collapsing on the ground wheezing for air. It was interrupted by the grave expression on Zedd's face.

"Zedd I'm fine reall-"

Kahlan's eyes widened, "Richard what have you done!"

Zedd turned grave, then red in the face, "How could you not have noticed! You were with him for his first few battles! You should have stopped it then!"

Kahlan, desperate, "Can we help him?"

Zedd looked at Richard.

Kahlan let out a wail, then flung her self at Richard, he was so surprised that he nearly missed her. After she started sobbing, he threw his arms around her trying to comfort her; they were really blowing this all out of proportion. "Kahlan, it's alright. I'm here, see?" He tried to move her head with a gentle hand so she could see his face. But Kahlan would not be moved.

Zedd said softly, "I will do what I can."

Kahlan turned sorrowful eyes to Zedd, then at Richard, her eyes red and tear streaked face. Richard hugged her close, yet she pulled away gently, "You have to go." She whispered, Richard protested instantly, "I'm not going anywhere. Kahlan what is wrong?"

"It's all my fault, if I had been paying more attention-"

Zedd interrupted the saccharine scene, "You were paying attention child, but not to what you were suppose to."

Kahlan blushed.

Zedd extricated Richard from Kahlan, and marched him across to a rockier slope. A convent Da'harn camp was nearby the smoke was evident. Zedd conjured another melon. "Now attack."

Richard confused took a moment to start, then began attacking the melon, witched moved. Repeatedly. Fed up with Zedd's lesson he jumped off a rock ready to deliver the final blow when he was suddenly pelted by very hard nuts. Richard lost his balance, landing hard on the ground, he glared at Zedd, "Lesson number zero seeker, and DON'T jump in battle."

Richard rolled his eyes, like he would really stop his awesome move that without fail caught Kahlan eye every time? That was his trademark as seeker. Besides the look of absolute shock that was written in every da'harns face whenever he used it?

Several days after Zedd had run out of nuts to pummel Richard with, Zedd switched to under ripe apples, and other hard fruit that was not in season. Kahlan didn't help at all she just went off to lament in the woods, loudly. As Richard would try to leave his 'training' Zedd just punched him all the more. Zedd even went so far as to curse Richards's feet, so that every time Richard tried to jump on foot would remain firmly attached to the ground. He had found this out the hard way. Richard was secretly convinced that Zedd was enjoying every moment.

Zedd earlier sent Richard up to the da'harn camp, to 'test', his new skills. Richard tripped several time and his foot was caught during the entire battle to the grounded one spot. So much for the legendary heroic jump. If he couldn't save Kahlan what was he supposed to do?

Having apparently failed Zedd devised the worst torment yet.

It was impossible that Zedd would use something so horrible against her.

Inconvieable.

Yet Zedd sat smugly across the cage, Kahlan proof.

Kahlan glared at him.

He smiled winningly if he were a decade younger would have made every women fall to her knees.

Zedd had decided to kill two birds with one stone. They were such good birds too.

Kahlan crossed her arms and sulked.

Zedd shook his head despairingly, "I don't know how much easier I can make this."

"The key. Give it to me."

"You rhymed! Alas I cannot, dear one."

"What?"

"Tis made of swiss, in my belly it is."

Kahlan moaned.

Zedd declared, "I will turn you into a convert if it is the last thing you do!"

"Why me?"

"I don't want that influence to wear off on Richard. I like the snakes."

"Can't you just find another rabbit to burn?"

"Humm roasted." He glanced at her calculating.

"Zedd, I am not food. Don't roast me. Wizards fire is strictly for enemies."

"Not you dear one."

Kahlan turned and saw a cute defenseless rabbit, then Zedd's mouth slightly drooling. Her eyes narrowed, "If you're so hungry Zedd, have a bite out of crime."

Zedd snorted, before going after the rabbit, "I would hardly call dinner defenseless. Rabbits bite very hard.

Kahlan waited till he left for the rabbit, then pulled out her knife. She would get out of this, thing. Making an incision she sliced. It came off easily; Zedd was still occupied, with the rabbit. Kahlan worked quickly. Suddenly she felt something missing, she looked down her other dagger in her left boot was gone; she whirled; only to have her other dagger snacked from her hand. Zedd stood behind her, holding a slightly charred rabbit, Kahlan noticed the smoldering fire from the crates and carts from behind him. Zedd picked off the slices of the cage and magicked a chair, then moved the fire over to himself. He sat down, and started roasting the pieces. "These will be delicious. Sure you don't want some now Kahlan?"

"I want my freedom, Zedd. Let me out. What if Richard is in trouble again?"

Zedd shrugged, "He survived my training, and he is just getting more practice. Once he stops his little mistakes he can come here to rescue you. Though I dream of the situation you are in."

Kahlan shook her head, "You put a tracer cloud over him, every da'haren from eidendrill to the marshes will come."

"Not that far dear. Richard needs the practice."

The smell of the rabbit suddenly made her stomach growl. "Zedd," She made herself look as defenseless and gulp cute as she could, He looked up from the roasting. "May I have a little of the food?"

Zedd grinned delighted, and handed her a slightly warm piece.

Kahlan shook her head, "Zedd. Can I have some rabbit."

"Eat your food first. You can't say you don't like it if you have never tried it."

Kahlan finally sat down, wrinkling her nose, Richard would undoubtedly come and save her from this horrible contraption Zedd had devised. She hoped.

Zedd broke of a chuck; the re made itself and munched happily after taking a cracker from the table next to Kahlan.

Richard came running through the gates, took one look.

Kahlan jumped to her feet, "Richard!" He voice joyful.

Richard beamed at Zedd, "My favorite snake! Cheese and crackers!"

"Alas, Richard you cannot love her anymore."

"What why not?"

Zedd waited a few moments then started telling a very long epic montage of all of Kahlan's good qualities, her skill in battle (Kahlan couldn't remember doing half of the things Zedd had said), her beauty (the poetry was decent, yet the long winded saga of the miracle of how her hair stays perfect even though not once has Zedd or Richard seen her brushing it), her training (oh yes the library was front with danger, the paper cuts she had to be treated for, yet she still continued on despite the agonizing blood loss), the danger she saved herself from (weather monsters, hostile take over, children (Zedd pointedly coughed Richard), darken raoul, mord-sith, weeds), her kindness (saving a bird, saving other small animals that would be dinner), her ability to stay with Richard even when he was being a complete idiot. Her confessor power, (dispensing justice, her sacrifice and tragic portrayal of never being able to love), yet at the end Kahlan if you would believe Zedd's story, would have had the powers of a lesser god, if not the creator herself.

Then Zedd delivered the ultimate crime of Kahlan's.

"She doesn't like cheese"

Richard, screamed, " NOOOOO!!"

In the book Richard loves cheese as does Zedd. What do you think about it?

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