Green Ushanka here, this story took forever because I'm super lazy.

Meh, I don't really like how it turned out, but thats okayyyy :P


Contents are hot and may burn

The boys are like 17 here. Yeah.



It's the period before lunch. The most god-awful 55 minutes of my life. It's Honors English 11, and I have no idea how I even got into an honors class.

I'm seated in-between Kyle-goddamn-Broflovski and Wendy Testicles... er, Testaburger. They're both beyond smart. It's scary, really. I know Kyle hates this class to death, he's always texting his little best bud, Stan, under the desk and coming up with lame excuses to get out of class. It always works, too. The teacher loves the little Jew. Today he told Mrs. Beverly that he forgot to take his insulin. A complete lie. I saw him taking it on the bus. Of course, he was allowed to leave.

That was like five minutes ago, I'm still bored out of my mind, and my fingers are itching for a cigarette.

I raise my hand, "Yes, Mr. Donovan?"

I fake a pained voice, "May I go the the bathroom?"

"There's only 25 minutes left in class, Clyde. Can you wait?" I growl, this stupid bitch teacher better let me go.

"N-no," I groan and clutch my stomach, "I don't really feel well."

She rolls her eyes and nods, "Okay, fine."

I practically trip over myself on the way out of the classroom. I give the class a chum two-fingered salute, and escape into freedom.

I make my way to the second-floor boy's bathroom. No one ever goes in there, and I am dead-set on smoking a nice stick of cancer.

My fingers clumsily fumble for a cigarette as I enter the second to last stall. I stand up on the toilet to make sure I'm undetectable and light up my cigarette. I run my fingers through my brown hair and breathe deep, taking in the smokey air around me. Oh my god, this is so relaxing.

I suddenly hear soft footsteps, which are obviously coming closer to me. I put out my cigarette as quickly as I can and wave the gray smoke away. Footsteps grow louder and the bathroom's old door creeks open. I boldly peak over the stall to see a familiar lime-green-ushanka-clad Kyle texting furiously on his iPhone. He looks around and after confirming the bathroom's emptiness, he leans his back against the cold bluish tile wall. He stays like this for a few minutes, staying focused on that fancy phone of his. And yeah, I'm pretty damn jealous. He has one of the nicest phones in town, which is kind of pitiful. The little red-haired boy looks like he's about to leave when the bathroom door opens again.

Well, if it isn't Stanley Marsh. They probably planned this like a bunch of gaywads, too.

"Hey." Stan greets Kyle awkwardly.

The ginger boy whines, "I waited forever, dude."

Stan rolls his eyes, mumbling a lame excuse.

They face each other, keeping intense eye contact. I can't help but notice how close their bodies are, their chests are nearly touching. It's probably normal for them. They're such good friends, after all. I keep spying on them quietly.

My jaw drops when I notice that the two boys' foreheads are now pressed against one-another's, their noses nearly touching. Kyle's arms move up to the much taller boy's neck, and Stan sets his hands around anorexic-Kyle's little waist. It doesn't take much time for them to start kissing.

I look away, a bit disgusted, as they shove each other's tongues down their throats. All I can hear is muffled moans and gasps for air. My curiosity forces me to look back. Stan has Kyle backed up against the bathroom wall with his right hand up his shirt, the left one is inconspicuously groping Kyle through his jeans. The red-head is throwing his head up and moaning loudly while Stan works at leaving hickeys on his best friend's neck. I cringe. This is seriously gross. Everyone jokes about Stan and Kyle being total 'butt buddies' but I would never expect it to be true.

"Oh god, Stan," Kyle groans, his breath catching, "Stop teasing me.."

The raven haired boy gets a weird smirk on his face. He tears off his mittens and red poof-ball hat, followed by his brown parka. He's left in a white t-shirt and skinny jeans. Kyle takes off his ushanka and lets it drop to the ground, then removes his orange jacket. He shakes his head a bit and lets his glossy auburn curls cover his face.

Stan smiles even wider upon seeing the cinnamon curls that the boy tries so desperately to hide every day, "My boyfriend is hot."

Kyle bites his lower lip and blushes, "So's mine."

The raven haired boy pulls the shorter Jewish boy closer to him and kisses him hard. I'll admit that I'm totally grossed out, but I can't seem to tear my eyes away.

The two make their way to the handicap stall next to me, lips never parting from each other's mouth. I watch in horror as the raven boy pushes the ginger against the wall and pulls him down so they are both on the floor, the brunette sitting over his friend.

Stan peels off Kyle's shirt and starts to lay every inch of the other boy's pale toned chest with his mouth. He stops at Kyle's right nipple and gently teases it with his tongue, which makes the other boy moan even louder than before. Stan pinches Kyle's other nipple hard, the red-head huskily calls out his best friend's name and begs him for more. Stan nods and pulls his friend down so he his laying on the ground. Kyle lets out a grunt as Stan positions himself so he is sitting on the jew's hips. The raven pulls off his own shirt.

"I'm so fucking horny, Ky." Stan purrs, leaning close into the red-head.

"Mmm, me too," Kyle thrusts his hips a bit, rubbing himself against the front on Stan's jeans, "I couldn't -ah- wait until lunch... Plus, I h-hate Honors English." Me and you both, Kyle, me and you both.

Stan giggles and goes back to kissing down Kyle's neck, his fingers ghosting around the red-head's chest. Kyle thrusts his hips more, trying to cause the friction he needed. Stan groans a little as his friend rubs against him. He leans up and kisses the auburn haired boy on the mouth once more before unhooking Kyle's belt.

Stan stands up slowly, leaving the red-head half-sitting, half-laying on the bathroom floor. He smirks and orders his friend to stand up. The ginger obliges, getting to his feet. My eyes widen when I realize what's happening. Stan pushes Kyle against the wall and has him sit up on the handicap-railing in the stall. Stan quickly frees Kyle of his jeans, leaving them in a clump on the floor. Stan keeps rubbing his friend through his boxers as their tongues explore each other's mouths. The Jewish boy's soft cries echo throughout the bathroom.

The brunette pulls off his friend's boxers in a swift movement, letting them pool around his ankles. Stan takes Kyle in his mouth and gently swirls his tongue around the tip. The ginger boy groans softly as Stan fits more of his length in his mouth. Kyle's hips buckle as the raven works on him.

I feel somewhat uneasy while watching this. It's pretty gross, actually. I would leave if it weren't totally awkward. 'Uh, hey guys, it's Clyde... Don't mind me, just watching you blow each other.' Not happening.

I plan on telling everyone about this. Hmph, I definitely need pictures. I pull out my phone as quietly as I can and snap away.

Kyle's moans grow louder as he comes closer to his peak. I watch as Stan takes almost all of Kyle's kosher meat in his mouth, his black head of hair bobbing up and down furiously.

"S-Stan! I'm gonna cuh- nuugh! God, Stan!" The red-head arches into his friend and groans, releasing into Stan's mouth. The raven haired boy gulps down reluctantly and gives Kyle a crooked smile, pumping him dry a few times. Ew.

"St-stan..? You sw-swal-"

Stan licks his lips and cuts Kyle off, "Mmm, yeah."

The other boy cocks his head, "Gross. But also totally hot."

"Whatever, you owe me," Stan shrugs, putting his shirt back on.

Kyle giggles, "You're coming to my place today, right?" Kyle buckles his belt and walks out of the stall to get his hat.

"Hell yeah."

"Good, we'll finish this there. We'd better get to lunch, before fatass gets suspicious."

Eric will be the first to learn about this, of course. I can't help but smirk. I am evil.

Stan kisses Kyle softly before they leave the bathroom.

"I love you, Kyle."

"I love you too, Stan."


I sit, pretty much dumfounded. That was so gross. I light up my cigarette again and finish what I started before heading to lunch.

I was already sitting down when Stan and Kyle finally graced our table with their presence. Cartman is the first to speak.

"Nice of you guys to join us." They simply sit down and give no response.

"Hey, where were you guys?" Kenny asks.

The two blush slightly and exchange innocent looks.

I already sent the pictures to Cartman, he'll get them soon. I told Craig, too, but he acted like it was old news because he's an asshole.

"YOU FUCKING FAGS!" Cartman holds his phone up to show everyone and laughs madly.


Review plox?