A/N Slashy flavor to be anticipated, just a warning.
Sirius' new attempt at décor struck me as more of an obstruction. Admittedly it gave the rather monotonous maroon and gold room a spice of purple, pink, and orange, but personally I don't think it was worth depriving some perfectly nice girl her undergarments. Judging by the size of the bra, I rather think she needed it more than the wall did.
"Padfoot," James said, awe lining his voice unnecessarily, "you are brilliant. Perfectly brilliant. How did you manage this?"
"Snatched it clean off of her back—she wasn't exactly objecting at the time, though I think I was supposed to return it at some point."
I looked up from my disgusted view of the offending undergarment to see Sirius' expression. His face was carefully blank, minus a bit of a smug smile, and most unrevealing. The bra blazed orange triumph.
"Blimey," Peter said from the bunk above me, "think she'll notice it's gone?"
"Yes, Peter," I provided, determinedly averting my gaze from the gloating thing on the wall and the two pleased boys in front of me, "I imagine Emma Gardner is due to report Sirius for stealing quite soon. And since this is Sirius' third count of indecent behavior, considering the nature of the object, I imagine his detention will likely include a letter home." I shot Sirius a thick gaze and returned to my textbook.
"How d'you know it's Gardner's?" Sirius asked, missing my point entirely.
"Who else would fit into that?" James helped, eliciting snickers from Sirius and Peter.
I kept watching my book, listening to the conversation despite my best attempts. The bra was directly in my vision, first thing I'd see whenever I opened the curtains in the morning. To make it worse, it sat right over the poster of a witch model Sirius tacked up, wearing a black hat and slinky red dress and sauntering all the time while she winked and blew kisses.
Between the sickening trophy and that woman with her wiggly hips, mornings would be perfectly awful. Except for the sleepy wizard with dark tousled hair that greeted me when I finally parted the curtains to face the day.
I didn't feel my day brightening now, though. Rather, I wished he would go back to the common room and take our new wall decoration with him.
Despite my best hopes, Sirius' retreat was looking less and less likely. Sirius and Peter were currently attempting to pin the thing to the wall with spell-o-tape to assure permanency while James looked on. All of the attention got Sirius flushed with excitement, a sure sign he'd soon be propositioning a midnight raid of the kitchens, or forbidden corridors, or a new way to siege the girl's dormitories; and James would soon be agreeing.
"Perfect!" James said as the two stepped down to admire their work. I looked up. It was a little lopsided, and one of the straps was twisted (that would be the hardest part of all for me to ignore), but it stayed put well enough.
"Great," I muttered, "put the evidence on display."
"Oh, don't worry about it, Moony. No one will come looking for it." His confidence didn't evoke any of the same in me. He turned to face James, the only other real authority in the room as far as he was concerned. "Hey, how about tonight we check to see if we can get into Slughorn's office? We're in need of diced dragon spleen and I want to see if the old boy really is keeping records of you and Lily's 'exemplary potions performance' like he claims he is."
James sneered, but couldn't hide the light flush that crept up his neck at the thought of reading Slughorn's information on Lily. "Guess we best not put off the dragon spleen. We need it by next week."
"Great!" Peter said, sounding his acquiescence.
"Moony?" I felt Sirius' appealing eyes on me. How could I object? I was the one that told them the addition of dragon spleen generalized a searching potion. It was partially my responsibility to see they got out safe. And to make sure James didn't steal all of Slughorn's records.
I gave a small nod, not meeting his eyes. But Sirius had already moved on, grinning and jostling with James out of the room. The bed over me was silent for a moment as Peter watched them go, undoubtedly hoping they'd come back and invite him along. Then he lay back with a creak and the room was once more still.
The seductive witch in the poster was uncharacteristically still, her back turned to the room as she craned her head up to admire the bra. She caught my gaze from the corner of her eye and wiggled her rear end at me invitingly.
I shut the curtains.
A/N Started this fic based off of a drawing I did, and it ran away with my keyboard and wrote itself. I haven't written Sirius/Remus, or anything Harry Potter in at least three years. This return to them is really exciting for me! More chapters coming!