Forever

A Grey's Anatomy fic by Gigi

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own anything. Stop breaking my heart by making me repeat it.

Chapter 14: Misery Business

A/N: So hey, I'm sorry for dropping off the face of the earth again. But you'll be glad you waited for this chapter. A lot happens in it so I hope you enjoy it!

Addison couldn't sit still for the life of her. All she could focus on was the second's hand on her Michael Kors watch, ticking far too slowly for her liking. Two minutes left.

Two minutes left to decide whether or not she wanted the test to turn out positive. If she was painfully honest with herself, she knew she probably didn't have very much time left to have a child. Her biological clock was ticking away, much like the hand on her watch, which now indicated that there was but one minute left.

Addison tried to still her legs from swinging as they had been since she sat on the bathroom counter nine minutes ago. Did she want this test to be positive simply because it could be her last chance at having a baby of her own? She and Alex were still incredibly new, and the added pressure of a baby would very possibly drive a wedge between them. And, since they were getting married in a month, breaking up after tying the knot could prove problematic. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she didn't want people to think they got married because he got her pregnant.

The second's hand reached the 12 on the face of her watch. It was time. With a deep breath, she flipped the paper towel covering the pregnancy test into the trash can.

A minus sign looked up at her from the stick on the counter.

Well, that was that. She wasn't pregnant. Relief washed through her body, just before a wave of despair crashed over her head. Sure, things were much simpler this way, but that didn't stop the disappointment from welling up inside her, hoping against hope that she was still able to even have children.

But at least she knew for now. She could focus on the wedding again—and seeing her parents.


Addison called in sick to work that day, not feeling up to delivering other women's babies when she found out she wasn't going to have one. It would have made her act weird, and then Alex would ask her what was wrong. She'd have to tell him the truth because he could tell if she was lying with his eyes closed. Nope. Avoidance was the answer.

She had just crawled back into bed in the afternoon when a cell phone rang. Groaning, she rifled around the nightstand for the offending device. It wasn't until after she had the phone in her hand and was looking at Vanessa's name on the caller ID that she realized the ringtone had not been her own, rather Alex's. Frustration laced her voice when she answered, "Hello?"

"Addison?"

"Hey, Vanessa," she yawned. "What can I do for you?"

"Isn't this Alex's phone?"

"Yes, but he seems to have forgotten it at home," Addison explained. "What's up?"

"Oh, well, this is perfect," Vanessa chirped. "I was calling to get your number anyway."

Addison rolled her eyes. "What for?"

"I want to have lunch tomorrow," Vanessa declared. "Just to see how the wedding planning is going."

"Going?" Addison repeated. "Vanessa, it already went. You helped me plan it last month, and all that was left to do was make sure everything fit."

"Oh, please, you've been married before. You know how this works," Vanessa chided, making Addison's brow furrow at the subtle insult. "We need to go through the RSVPs and make the seating chart."

"Why is it so important that you be my unofficial wedding planner?" the redhead asked tiredly as she sat up.

Vanessa paused. Addison almost repeated her question when she heard, "Honestly? You're the farthest from Alex's type I can imagine, and I'm trying to see why he wants to marry you." Dead, shocked silence answered her. "That came out wrong."

Addison snapped her agape mouth shut. "No, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what you meant to say," she corrected harshly. "Yes, I am far from Alex's type, but his type before me consisted mostly of easy lays. Hardly the type you'd want to keep around."

An offended noise came through the phone; Vanessa was one of Alex's exes, after all. "Excuse me?"

"I appreciate all the help you've given me planning the wedding, but I think we can handle the seating chart on our own. Besides, you have your own wedding to focus on. Goodbye, Vanessa." And with that, Addison flipped the cell phone closed and fell back on the bed. As she glared up at the ceiling, she thought of at least one good result of that phone call: she was no longer depressed over the negative pregnancy test. Now she was just pissed.


"Addison, will you please tell me why you're so angry?" Alex asked wearily. He'd come back from work half an hour ago to his fiancée practically spitting nails. "Nothing you're saying is making any sense right now."

A growl emanated from the pacing redhead's throat. "Every time I talk to Vanessa, I like her less and less," she ranted.

Alex groaned. "Oh, no, what did she do?" He didn't have a good feeling about this.

"You used to have horrid taste in women, Alex Karev," Addison announced heatedly.

"Thanks for letting me know," he deadpanned. "Now what did Vanessa do?"

"You left your cell phone here, and she called looking for me."

"I'm guessing she found you," Alex said with a measure of dread in his voice.

She nodded and continued with her recap. "I finally asked her what her fascination with being our wedding planner was, and she said she was trying to figure out why you're marrying me," she all but shouted that last part at Alex, whose chocolate brown eyes went as wide as saucers.

"She didn't." Anger boiled within the surgical intern. How dare Vanessa say that?

"She's such a peach," she said sardonically. "I don't know why you let her get away."

"What did you say to her?"

A small blush rose to Addison's cheeks. "I may have insinuated that she was an easy lay, and that you want to keep me around because I'm not like that."

Alex, who had been taking a sip of water while she spoke, choked on his drink at her words. "You said what?" he asked in a strangled voice.

"Hey, she started the offensive comments," she huffed.

Laughter bubbled out of her fiancé; he literally had to sit on the bed to avoid falling over in his mirth. "I...can't...believe...you called her...loose!" he exclaimed between breaths. "That's excellent!"

"Well, it's true, from what you've told me," Addison defended, crossing her arms. Alex just kept laughing, and Addison felt the corners of her lips quirk upwards. Within another minute she was giggling along with him. So much for her bad mood.


The next morning, Addison stood in one of Seattle Grace's elevators reading the newspaper when Richard stepped into the cabin. After a short hello, he turned around and pressed the button for his floor. Addison did a double take at the back of her boss' head-his hair was black.

Startled though she was, she chose to stay silent. She couldn't say the same for Mark, Derek and Burke, all of whom stepped onto the elevator shortly after the Chief. They all offered their own shocked (and amused) greetings, prompting Addison to cough out a "Leave him be," warning.

Obviously, they ignored her.

Question after question from the three men all but forced the Chief to admit he had dyed his hair in order to attract women's attention. When Mark started laughing, Addison had had enough. Soon, she was whacking all three attendings with her newspaper.

"He is alone," she hissed haltingly. "All alone. Do any of you know what that's like?" She gestured at each of them in exasperation. "Lives with Christina, dates the perfect 12-year-old, manwhore!" One by one, the men recoiled as she addressed them. "His wife just left him, so if the man wants to dye his hair, let him dye his hair. Leave him be." She fixed them with one last glare and, satisfied that they had been sufficiently chastised, turned back around and left the elevator.

Once she was in the safety of the NICU, a somewhat horrified look graced her features. What the hell was that? It wasn't like she was alone anymore. Hell, she was getting married in a month! Why, then, was she still so affected by Richard's plight?

As Addison checked on the preemies, her mind tried to scrounge up an answer to that question. Was it because she still harbored those feelings of abandonment and sheer loneliness from when Derek left her both times? She paused in the act of opening a chart. That couldn't have been it, could it?

Rationally speaking, it could. For God's sake, it hadn't even been a year yet. Of course, she was still hurt.

Then what the hell was she doing? Marrying another man the same year her first marriage crumbled was crazy. Not to mention a horrible way to remember a wedding anniversary. What were people thinking about her right then? Why on earth had she agreed to get married in a month?

Before she could panic any longer, her fiancé walked into the NICU and pecked her on the cheek. "Morning," he greeted. "Sorry I'm late. Triage training."

"Morning," she replied, trying her very best to keep the tremors from her voice. She didn't want to let Alex know just how freaked she felt at the moment. She forgot to respond to the other half of his greeting.

Which was pretty much the giant, flashing sign to Alex that something was off about the redhead. "What's up?"

As if his words flipped some kind of switch, Addison jolted back to work and scribbled in the chart she'd held open for the last five minutes, forcing her fear down to be dealt with at another time. "Nothing." She put down the chart. "But when you see the Chief today, don't say a word about his hair," she warned.

The caution earned her a bewildered look from her intern, but before he could comment on it, both their pages went off: 911 for the pit.


Addison, Alex and pretty much all available personnel in the hospital stood in the pit in shock as they stared at the television, stunned by the chaos shown on the news. A ferry boat had crashed in the bay, causing massive amounts of injuries and many passengers unaccounted for. Richard stood in front of the quiet crowd of doctors, briefing them on the situation and notifying them that two triage teams would be going to the scene. It wasn't until the Chief had dismissed everyone that Addison registered the fact that Alex was to be on one of those teams.

As she went with him to ready the kits he would need, Alex looked at her worriedly. She seemed a little...spacey, even if she was packing the kits efficiently and without error. "Hey, you okay?"

It took Addison a second to focus on Alex's face. "Yeah," she smiled. "Just a little freaked. I used to ride that ferry boat." Back when I was still married to Derek less than a year ago, she continued in her head. Guilt immediately rose up inside her for that thought. Shouldn't she have been talking to Alex about her fears instead of putting them aside until later? The masochist in Addison also pointed out how completely self-involved she was; hundreds of people were hurt and injured and waiting for their help, and all she could focus on was what people would think of her second marriage? She was so going to Hell.

Alex nodded in understanding. "That would freak me out, too." He bent down and closed the kit he had been packing. "What are you going to do until the first wave of patients comes?"

Addison took a deep, steadying breath, reminding herself to stay on the topic at hand. "I'm going to make sure there are as many available beds as possible and try to clear the OR board so that there's room for emergent cases."

"Alright, well I've got to go," he said uncertainly. Her forehead had crinkled with worry, and he could tell it wasn't just over the ferry boat victims. What on earth was bothering her?

"Go," she smiled. "Save lives. Be a hero, yadda yadda. Just don't be stupid."

Alex chuckled. "Thanks for the advice." He leaned in and gave her a small kiss on the lips. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked when he pulled back.

How many times had he asked her that in the past hour? Obviously, she hadn't improved in her skill at hiding things from him. She bit her lip, contemplating whether or not this would be the best time to unload her fears on him, considering the fact that they were about to become very, very busy. But when people started calling for the teams to load into the ambulance, she panicked and blurted, "I want to postpone the wedding."

Alex's jaw dropped in surprise. Whatever he'd expected her to say, that had certainly not been it. He had no chance to respond, however, because Bailey ushered him into the ambulance to go to the dock. The last thing he saw before the doors closed was Addison standing at the entrance to the pit, apprehension written all over her face.

A/N: See? I told you a lot was going to happen! I know some of you might hate me right now, but I have plans! I decided I wanted to include the ferry boat arc, one, to give you guys some sort of time reference, and two, to explore the Ava situation now that she isn't going to be trying to set the two of them up, you know, since they're already together. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I promise to try my hardest to get the next one out faster. You can even nag me on twitter if you feel I'm not updating fast enough. Now please do me a favor and review!