This is just something small and cute that popped into my head. I'll probably continue this, just as a series of random musings from Chairman Meow. I love that furry weirdo. :)



Lawyer: Do you want to think about that statement?

Me: Um... maybe...

Lawyer: Ahem

Me: OKAY, OKAY-I don't own The Mortal Instruments.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to be me. I mean, I know I'm a cat, but still.

First I'm born in a filthy alley, and then I'm hungry for a week.

Luckily then I was rescued. The Tall One came and picked me up. I squirmed for a while, enjoying the warmth of his hand. He said something and took me to my house. At first everything was perfect-he was a great friend.

He fed me, and cleaned up after me, and we had the best cuddly times. But then he brought home another pet.

I called this one The Petter. He petted me once, and then kicked me out of my bed! I was outraged-the Tall One was in there having cuddly times with The Petter!

Over the next year or so, I learned many things. There were many Petters, and many Kickers. There were some Cuddlers, but they all left.

The Tall One and I still had cuddly times, but they were few and far between.

But then there was The Quiet One. When the Quiet One first came, I decided he was going to be a Petter. So as soon as the Tall One left the room, I leapt on the Quiet One, purring and rubbing all over him. At first he seemed so surprised I was a little worried that he was going to end up being a Kicker.

But he was better-he picked me up and hugged me-a CUDDLER!

I was so happy I licked him. He was now mine. Ha-ha, Tall One. Now Quiet One was my pet.

Of course, Tall One disregarded the fact that Quiet One now belonged to me, and he licked him too. Well, strange licking-he used his lips, not his tongue-but the reason was obvious. He even bit him...

Hmmm, maybe that's how you marked someone. I would have to try that next time.

Sure enough, next time Quiet One came around, he picked me up and gave me a hug. Mmmm, cuddly...

Oh, wait-RIGHT! I bit him on the hand, and then licked it a couple of times. That would show Tall One. Two could play at that game-I was reclaiming Quiet One!

Tall One was unhappy though, and he threw me in another room and locked the door. I battered the door-I needed to protect my property and my Quiet One!

The next few weeks were a battle-between me and Tall One. Quiet One was the prize. To tell you the truth, I think that Quiet One liked me more. After all, he cuddled with me all the time-he mostly just kissed Tall One.

Once, he was laying on the couch, and I was on his chest. He was stroking me and then he said something... I don't know what (you know humans and their idiotic language!)but I like to think that it was 'I do not love Tall One as much as I love you Chairman Meow.'

Yes, that's probably what it was...

Of course, Tall One and Quiet One yelled sometimes too. I hated that. I would hide under the couch until they would stop yelling. Sometimes they would kiss and be happy, but sometimes Quiet One would leave. I didn't like it when he left-Tall One was always so sad, he forgot to feed me.

However, the worst day of the battle was the day I like to call 'The Day Tall One Made Quiet One Yell'. It was horrible.

It started out as normal as most days-Quiet One came over and cuddled me and kissed Tall One. We were all just lounging around, and I was trying to decide whether to cuddle more with Quiet One or play with him...

All of a sudden, Tall One was pulling Quiet One into the bedroom. I couldn't believe it! I had been so nice, letting Tall One play with Quiet One all he wanted! But now he was just taking advantage of my good nature.

Of course, Tall One shut the door so I couldn't save Quiet One-although at the time I thought he was just being mean. I sat by the door, waiting until Quiet One would leave.

Then I heard it. Quiet One yelled and moaned. OH NO! Tall One must be hurting Quiet One!

I battered myself against the door, letting out a ferocious battle cry. I was going to save my Quiet One!

After about an hour of my trying desperately to save him, Tall One opened the door.

Before anything else could happen, I ran over and leapt onto the bed. I looked Quiet One all over, licking him and making sure he wasn't hurt.

Then I turned around and growled at Tall One. Just because I couldn't find where he had hurt Quiet One, didn't mean I couldn't punish him.

But Tall One laughed and said something to Quiet One, I think he said 'I surrender, because you obviously belong to him and not, not, NOT to me.'... Or, you know, something like that.

Quiet One pulled me over so that we were cuddling... ahhh, I loved cuddly time. Tall One laid down beside us and cuddled me too.

Alright... maybe I could share him... just this once.

If you had looked in on us that night, you probably wouldn't have noticed me. But that only made me happier. I was cuddled all through the night, in between my two favorite humans.\


Um, okay, I don't mean to be whiny, but if there's anyone reading this who is willing to just read a summary of a story I'm thinking of writing (For Mortal Instruments)...

Review PLEASE! :D