Author's Note: As Fan Fiction dot Net doesn't have a filksong section, I'm posting this as a poem. Usual disclaimer, not my characters, just borrowed, and they will be returned relatively undamaged, other than the earaches from singing off-key. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by the late, great Douglas Adams, has been a radio show, a TV show, a book, and a movie. In theory this should fit any of the variations, but if push comes to shove, it's based on the radio show. Originally published in Xenofilkia #19, October 1991. To be sung to the tune of "Beware of the Sentient Chili," by Chris Weber.

Beware of the Vogonese Poets

lyrics by Susan M. M.

music by Chris Weber ("Beware of the Sentient Chili")

Beware of the Vogonese poets,

Who rhyme so atrociously bad.

Their meter is worse than a filker's.

Their verses will make you feel sad.

To read them, you'll feel sad and sickened.

To hear them, your stomach will turn.

Vogon poets offer proof pos'tive

That some books it's okay to burn.