Author's Notes: So, this is my first official Nick/Greg fic. I did participate in a Round Robin once, but just one bit. And after watching "Lost & Found," this fic just popped into my head. I didn't send this to my beta, so please excuse any and all mistakes.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.
Nick entered the bedroom, his eyes adjusted to the dark from walking through the unlit apartment, and smiled at the sleeping form of his partner on the bed. Quietly the CSI toed off his shoes, peeled off his shirt and jeans and slid into bed next to the sleeping man. Nick wrapped his arms tight around Greg's waist and buried his face in his neck, breathing in deeply the warmth of his skin.
"Hey," Greg murmured sleepily before trying to turn in Nick's arms, but the Texan held him tight. "I tried to stay awake but I guess I'm more tired than I thought."
"It's alright," Nick answered into Greg's neck.
"I know this case hit you hard, babe," the younger man said as he gently trailed his fingers up and down the arms encircling him. "And I know that before me, before us, it was just because you have a soft spot for children. You see yourself as their only protector, you always have." The memory of bubblegum breadcrumbs hung between them in the quiet.
"And now?" Nick asked, despite knowing what Greg would say. They had fought for too long over this, and he really didn't want to fight about it now. Greg managed to twist in his arms to face Nick and he could see the resignation in the younger man's face. He didn't want to fight either.
"You know what now. You want children, you want to adopt and this is exactly why I've been saying no. If we did have a kid, you'd see their face in every case we had involving children. You'd go after negligent parents ten times more than you already do, you'd lose your head and probably lose us cases."
"Catherine manages," he eventually mumbled and focused his gaze on Greg's cheek, unable to look him in the eye.
"Yes, she does. But she didn't always. Don't get me wrong, she's amazing, but she had a blind spot when it came to her family, at least until after Grissom left. Now she's a leader, our leader. She has to be able to make the decisions without getting emotionally involved."
"You don't think I could?" Nick asked hotly, his irritation growing at Greg's every word because they were true and they both knew it. Greg sighed and placed his hands on the side of Nick's face, forcing their gazes to meet.
"If we had a child? No. You're too emotional a person to distance yourself like that. It's why I love you."
"But I want a family with you," Nick whispered tearfully, the day finally catching up with him. "I want..." he trailed off and closed his eyes. He hadn't been able to voice this to Greg, he knew it would make the other CSI feel guilty and cave.
"What do you want?" Greg asked softly into the silence, wiping away Nick's tears.
"I want you not to regret falling in love with me." He opened his eyes and took in Greg's shocked face.
"You told me once, before we were together, you wanted a huge family. That you had lived with such a small one that you knew when you got married you would have a bunch of kids and they'd all carry on the Sanders name. I don't want you to miss out on that because you fell in love with me. I won't take that away from you."
"Nick," Greg sighed with a slight huff of laughter. "When I said that it was because I knew it was something people would want to hear. I hadn't come out yet to anyone at work and if I had said I knew I would never have a family because I was gay and a CSI, well I wasn't sure how anyone would take it. "
"But what happens when we die? What will we have to show for it?"
"Our work, the hundreds of lives we saved by getting murderers off the street. Our friends, our families, the nieces and nephews we'll spoil." They both chuckled. Greg's hands returned to Nick's face and Nick covered them with his own. "I love you, Nick Stokes. I will always love you and I don't need children to prove it."
"I love you too," Nick said softly before leaning in for a kiss. It was chaste compared to some of the kissing that had gone on between them, but it was passionate and full of love and it soothed Nick's fears.
Please let me know what you think!