Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I don't own the dementors, I don't own the quote at the beginning…Dammit, I don't even own the chocolate!
A/N: It's rated T mostly because I'm a bit paranoid about the swearing. And if you R&R I will love you forever. In a non-stalkerish way =D
'And then the thing beneath the hood, whatever it was, drew a long, slow, rattling breath, as though it were trying to suck something more than air from its surroundings.
'An intense cold swept over them all…'
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, page 83
"It was the first dementor I'd ever been near, though Dad had told me about them. It was like…I was the cold or something, and things had always been that way. I dunno, it was just weird. Suddenly all I could think of was those bloody spiders, of Aragog and his cronies tearing me to pieces. I looked around at everyone, thinking maybe seeing them would fix things. Hermione was rocking back and forth, clutching her arms. Harry went all rigid, and then, without me seeing what was going on, he was on the floor twitching. Neville was moaning or something, Ginny was making these really scary strangled noises and hitting something I couldn't see, and Lupin was standing up looking pissed. He said something - I couldn't really hear him - and then shot this silvery thing out of his wand. While it all was happening, the time I fell off my broom and nearly died came into my mind, and all I could feel was the terror I'd felt then. And I remembered how good my brothers all were and how it didn't matter that I was Harry's friend because I was just the sidekick. I figured out then that I would never be happy again, that we were all going to die right now or maybe just have to live…I didn't know what to do…
"Then, the dementor was gone. I made myself get up like a good little sidekick and I went to comfort Harry, who looked dead."
"I'd read about dementors, of course, in many books. In the past, I'd been absolutely sure of my knowledge, confident that I could overcome the feelings they inspired - fear, sadness, anger, or hatred - and ignore the memories they brought up. On the Hogwarts Express that day, I found out that books weren't everything and that I was wrong. When the monster came in our compartment, I felt colder than I'd ever been before. Without warning, all the light and joy in the compartment drained away with its loud breathing. I looked around, feeling ready to explode with the sudden anger and fear that bloomed within me. Instead of seeing my friends around me, I saw the tormentors I'd dealt with throughout my years in Muggle school, the peers who'd taunted me and hit me after school daily, the people who'd made me scared of my own shadow for years. I remembered for the first time in three years how it had felt to lie on the ground bleeding and hurting, to see people over me laughing at my pain. I wanted to hit them back, but I wanted to run away. I rocked back and forth, not sure what I was supposed to do - I hated feeling so helpless - and tried not to cry.
"Then, I recognized Ron, whose freckles were standing out in stark relief from his pale face, and Harry, shaking on the floor. Professor Lupin said 'None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go,' and did some sort of spell sending it away. I made a mental note to learn the spell, and then I joined Ron in trying to awaken Harry, who had collapsed."
"The dementor came in and I almost fell over right then as the memories flew at me from every direction: being dropped out of a window by my great-uncle, losing Trevor, Grandmother yelling at me. I felt the shame of being so hopeless at magic, felt the loathing of Snape's unfair treatment of me - or was it fair?
"But then, oh then, the worst one. They say I was far too young to be able to remember Her coming, but they're wrong. I remember Her eyes, Her dark eyes as She laughed at my parents going mad. Of course, at the time, I didn't know what She was doing or what was happening to Mum and Dad. But I was alive and I had a soul and I could feel the terror and disgust at what was happening and now I could feel it again, and everywhere I looked I saw those eyes: on Harry, on Hermione, on Ginny, on the professor, and all of them as they sat in their places, laughing at me. I began a high keening noise, I shut my eyes tight, trying to keep Her away from me, to call my mum or dad to save me, but I could feel Her coming so close to me…
"And then Lupin made something happen, and it was gone, and I felt this intense, overwhelming relief."
"I never thought I'd have to see a dementor, ever. I thought I'd had my share of shit already, forgive my French. What with the diary and everything. But then the damn thing showed up and I was right back in the nightmare of my first year. Of waking up standing in the common room, of finding myself in my dormitory with paint all up and down my clothes. The indescribable fear that had been my life was back, and worse, the thought that this was what I deserved for being so horrid. Not wanting to believe it, but knowing that it was me who Petrified the cat and all those people. It was me who was going to bring You-Know-Who back. And then I saw him there in front of me, beckoning to me. 'Come on, Ginevra,' he said to me just like before, with his beautiful voice. 'It's time to help out your friend, your only friend. Time to help bring me to life and kill everyone in this pathetic place. Come along, Gin, let's go kill. I want to kill you…' On and on and on, making me want to scream. I think I probably almost fainted that day, was almost as bad as Harry was. But then he was gone again, just like he had been gone then. I was so sure that he would come back again, though. In fact, I knew he would; he was just biding his time.
"But as I looked around, I saw that Lupin was giving everyone chocolate and the dementor had left. I took the piece he gave me - a good bit larger than most of the others got, too - and listened as the others explained to Harry what had just happened. After a moment I felt a sob rise within my throat and escape; Hermione came over to comfort me and I felt the shame of needing that, of being so weak."