I was so totally inspired by a disclaimer I put up some time ago, that I had to write it :P
Summary: Masaomi decides to practice pickup lines on Mikado, when an earthquake comes and shakes everything up.
Disclaimer: DRRR is mine? Really? ...Dang it, I knew it was too good to be true.
"My love for you is like diarrhea! I can barely hold it in!"
"That one is a little too gross for any romantic development."
"Were you arrested earlier? I'm sure it's illegal to be that beautiful!"
"You're planning to accuse a pedestrian of a non-existent crime?"
"You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche!"
"Masaomi, you don't even have a driver's license, let alone a car."
"If you were the new burger at McDonald's, you'd be the McGorgeous!"
"It's impolite to compare a person to fast food. Especially when that's definitely junk food."
"If this street if the meat market, you are surely the prime rib!"
"…Just because you took out the junk food part doesn't make it any more appropriate to turn someone into something you can take a bite out of, Masaomi."
"Are you accepting applications for your fan club?"
"I hope you know what the concept of a cliché is."
"Want to see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it isn't floppy!"
Mikado nodded, then paused.
Then his brain started to process the pickup line his best friend had just "practiced" on him.
And he finally caught the rather blunt innuendo his friend had just said.
"Masaomi! Tha, that was ha-hardly, n-no, definitely not appropriate! You can't, ab, ab, absolutely not! Not! Say that t-to a random girl you've never met before!"
By now Mikado's face was red, he was tripping over his own words, and he was standing with the chair he had knocked over on the floor behind him. Masaomi sighed and glanced out the classroom window briefly. It was getting a little late, and hunting seemed like an unlikely option now. He turned back to his very embarrassed (and so very cute due to that blush) friend.
"Mikado~, you're totally taking out the fun of all my wonderful quotes that will sweep the ladies off their feet! Why are you evaluating each and every line in the first place?" Masaomi complained.
"Well, why did you ask to practice with me in the first place?" Mikado shot back.
"I just wanted to have a good rehearsal so that I wouldn't let any ladies down, but now you're just analyzing it all!" Masaomi pouted. "It's not fun."
Mikado was about to give a cold retort when the entire building started to shake. Mikado lost his balance (which was a bad sign since that meant the floor was shaking badly) and fell backwards. He had scrunched his eyes shut in preparation for his head having a rough rendezvous with the floor, but his fall wasn't that bad at all. In fact, he had collided with something much softer—
Mikado opened his eyes.
Apparently, his friend had saved him in the nick of time and had caught Mikado's head right before he hit the floor. Which thus led to the following, very awkward situation: Mikado on the floor with his head cradled in Masaomi's right hand, Masaomi's left hand on the floor by Mikado's side, Masaomi's legs intertwined with Mikado's, and their faces very, very close together. Mikado's breath hitched momentarily as he stared into honey orbs, and he saw Masaomi's lips open, close, a tongue flick over (Mikado's breathing hitched again, and did his heart just skip a beat?) those lips, and then an Adam's apple bob as the owner of those very moist lips swallowed.
No. Mikado mentally slapped himself. He was not aroused by watching his best friend do a very ordinary (albeit very erotic) act.
Mikado was trying to rip his gaze from his best friend's lips when Masaomi spoke:
"Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?"
...Those damn pickup lines.
"Earthquake," Mikado deadpanned.
Masaomi chuckled, and Mikado noticed a slight tremble in the usual light laughter.
"Naa, Mikado. Did it hurt?"
Mikado assumed that he was talking about their previous fall that they had gone through. Speaking of said fall, they were still in the very awkward position that was making Mikado wish he were very far away from Masaomi right now.
"No, you just caught me so I'm fi—"
"No," Masaomi breathed. "I mean, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Mikado didn't know whether he should kill Masaomi or kiss him.
"Your pickup lines suck!" Mikado nearly growled.
"Sorry," Masaomi grinned. "But I really mean them when I say them to you."
The world stopped for a few seconds.
"…Even the one about the hard drive and the McDonalds one?" Mikado raised an eyebrow, silently hoping his heartbeat that had suddenly decided to go wild was not being felt by Masaomi.
"Of course!" Masaomi beamed.
"You really need to tone down the weirdness of those lines, because I'm not falling for any of those."
"Well then," Masaomi smiled. A hint of anxiety twitched in a dimple.
"I'm not a knight in shining armor on a white stallion, but I'm your best friend who has been in love with you for the past nine years. Will you please date me, Mikado?"
Mikado looked up at Masaomi for a few seconds before he grudgingly let out his approval.
Then he pulled Masaomi in for a kiss.
I looked up the pickup lines on Google, ha! I have some more stories revolving around pickup lines planned, so look forward to updates!
Reviews are appreciated! Please let me know what you like/dislike.