Well. This is my first fanfic ever, and it's pretty stupid too.

So yeah... you have been warned...

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. They belong to... more important people...

Afternoon tennis practice was going quite normally for the Rikkai Dai tennis team. It was a beautiful day – the sun shone brightly upon the tennis courts, and a comfortable breeze swept over the players, who were currently engaged in intense practice matches.

Sanada and Yukimura stood outside the courts, watching their teammates with obvious pride. (Well, Yukimura was, anyway. Sanada was just kind of standing there, being… Sanada.)

All in all, it was a perfect day. In other words, it was a day built for disaster, as Sanada knew quite well, because he was frequently put in these situations, thanks to his… interesting team.

Well, whatever, Sanada thought, might as well enjoy the perfectness now and hope it lasts. He would have laughed at himself for how ridiculous he sounded – since, of course, the perfectness never lasted – but laughing would just be too un-Sanada. So instead, he settled for just standing there and being Sanada.

I am saying "Sanada" far too much, so now I will get back to the rest of the team. Which was, at this moment, missing a certain sweet-addict.

"Where's Marui?" Jackal asked the world, missing his beloved doubles partner very much.

All the Regulars stopped practicing when they heard this. They all missed Marui very much too (well, not really, they were just looking for a chance to stop practicing and cause chaos – but we shall pretend, for the sake of Marui's soul).

"Yeah, I miss him very much!" Niou screamed into the sky quite dramatically.

"No, you don't," Yanagi told him, "There is a 99.3826976% chance that you don't miss him at all. But we all knew that anyway."

"Yes, thank you, Yanagi," Yukimura said as he strolled onto the court, "Twenty laps for stating the obvious. Now, where is Bunta? Have any of you seen him?"

"Well-" Jackal began, but was cut off by a long, ear-piercing wail that came from the boys' locker room. In fact, it was so long and ear-piercing that it deafened a couple of unfortunate non-Regulars. But since they are non-Regulars, they are therefore unimportant, so let's move on…

"I think we have found Marui-kun," stated Yagyuu.

"Thirty laps for stating the obvious," commanded Yukimura.

"What? But Yanagi only got twenty!" Yagyuu whined in a very un-Yagyuu-like manner.

Yukimura glared his YUKIMURA GLARE/SMILE ™ and the world got a little colder. "Don't make me change that to thirty one laps," he warned, as if that made SO MUCH of a difference.

And so Yagyuu went to run his laps with Yanagi, and the rest of the team hurried to the locker room. Yagyuu and Yanagi shared "poor me" glances and some intense bonding occurred. Then they went off to go do some OOC stuff while no one was looking. Anyway…

The team arrived at the locker room, only to find Marui curled up in the corner of the room, crying his head off.

Niou took one look at him and cracked up.

The bawling boy glanced up at the sound and jumped to his feet, grabbing Niou by his shirt.

"You!" he snarled as he punched him in the face, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Marui then kneed him… in the place males do not like to be kneed… and ran out of the locker room in a teary mess, leaving a very angry Niou on the ground, writhing in pain.

The rest of the team watched with wide eyes, wondering what the heck just happened.

It was at this particular moment that Yanagi walked in, along with… Niou?

"Hey, thanks again," the new Niou said to the Niou on the floor. "Marui's wrath is hard to take."

"My apologies, but that was so not worth it, Niou-kun," the Niou on the floor muttered, pulling off his white wig and sticking his glasses back on.

"I ran thirty laps for you! You should be happy," the real Niou replied in a hurt tone. Sanada then gave them both thirty more laps for playing switch-er-oo again. Oh, the woes of the Platinum Pair...

"Um… Niou… what the heck did you do to Marui to make him so angry?" Jackal asked nervously.

"Oh, nothing that bad. I just left him a little present, that's all."

Everyone tried not to imagine what that meant and pretended they didn't hear him.

"Tarundoru!" Sanada finally barked, snapping out of his state of shock, "Fifty million gazillion laps, everyone!"

And so, everyone scrambled out of the locker room and hurried to finish their fifty million gazillion laps. (And they all lived happily ever after. Sort of. Not really.)


Kirihara Akaya found a package addressed to him at he front door the next day. He was tired of being stuck at home with the flu (and quite bored too), so he was pretty excited when he got MAIL addressed to HIM. Like, maybe it was a PRESENT or something!

He dragged the box inside with much huffing and puffing – it was a big box, and VERY heavy too. What could be inside, I wonder? We shall see…

There was a note attached to the outside of the box. Kirihara quickly scanned over it.

"Dear Akaya,

Here's a gift I got from Niou. I don't want it. So you can have it. Please use wisely… it's caused (even a genius like) me much, much pain… um… yeah…"

The bottom was signed "Marui Bunta."

"Oh yay!" Kirihara shouted, pumping a fist in the air, "A PRESENT!"

He tore open the box, completely ignoring Marui's warnings. Out jumped… Jirou Akutagawa and a bunch of vegetables.

Hey, if I were Marui Bunta, I'd be reduced to tears too. Now that you've wasted your time reading this fic, please review and I'll give you Jiroh for a day and some vegetables :)

Oh, and my soul is quite fragile, so try not to kill me. Unless this was THAT bad...

Feedback is GREATLY appreciated! I'll love you forever!