Thanks to Marisje, I came up with this. I know you didn't suggest this exactly, but when you suggested never give Eagle coffee/sugar then mentioned Wolf for a different idea, I came up with never stealing Wolf's coffee. Thanks a bunch to Marisje and the people who have been reading and reviewing!
Disclaimer: *sigh* someday perhaps I'll own Alex Rider, but for now, I can only dream...and write this stuff.
The chefs at Brecon Beacons put up with a lot.
They were the ones who soldiers complained to about the food. They were the ones who washed all the dishes of the slop they served. They were the ones who were under orders to serve such crappy food.
Yet all of this paled in comparison to when a fierce lone man stalked into the kitchen every morning and growled, "Coffee."
They all dove for the water they already had boiling, grabbed a mug, hastily poured in the coffee mix, and stirred it as fast as they could. When the man left, they would all breathe a sigh of relief.
Another morning they had lived to see.
The man, of course, was none other than Wolf; leader of K-unit. Fox, Snake, Eagle, and Cub all knew that their leader needed his coffee. Yet they didn't know what he would be like without the brown liquid every morning.
"I'm bored." Eagle proclaimed one morning.
It was a rare moment of peace in K-unit's hut. Well, it was peaceful…until the cheerful soldier opened his mouth.
Wolf, Fox, Snake, and Cub all groaned simultaneously. Even though the last time Eagle had said that they had all had a boatload of fun, none of them wanted to do anything at the moment.
"Is it physically impossible for you to be quiet for two minutes?" Fox demanded. Eagle tilted his head to the side thoughtfully, "I'm quiet when I'm sleeping; does that count?"
"You snore, so no." Snake said without looking up from the medical book he was reading. "I don't snore!" Eagle said in a slightly outraged tone. Cub resisted the urge to throw something at the man, "You do to, and it's woken us up on numerous occasions."
Eagle was silent for thirty seconds.
"I'm still bored."
Wolf let out a growl and told them, "Eagle, for all the whining you do, I think the mess hall is quieter. I'll see you guys later." With that said, the leader stormed out of the hut. Fox was right: it was impossible for that man to remain quiet.
With the leader gone, the cogs in Eagle's head began turning. His thoughts were like chain links. The first link was simple, and then the next was slightly different, yet still related to the first one. But links would keep forming until the last link was nothing like the first.
So when Eagle suddenly suggested, "Let's steal Wolf's coffee tomorrow morning!" Everybody was completely thrown for a minute. Where on Earth had he picked up that idea?
"You do know," Fox said slowly, "That you'll die if Wolf finds out?" Honestly, did this man have a death wish? Eagle had that insane light in his eyes, "He won't find out! Not if we all work together!"
Snake covered his eyes with a hand, "Eagle, if you value your life, don't. Take. Wolf's. Coffee." Eagle ignored the medic and turned to Cub, "What do you say?"
The youngest member thought long and hard.
He could say that it was revenge for Wolf trying to sabotage him when he first came to Brecon Beacons. And if Wolf found out, Cub could say that Eagle made him do it. Cub pursed his lips; was it really worth it?
"I'm in." He finally said. Eagle grinned his 300 megawatt grin, "Woo hoo! You're the best, Cub!" The soldier turned to the other two uncertain members, "Pleasepleaseplease?" He begged.
Fox and Snake looked at each other, "Well…"
Snake set down his book, "Fine, I'll help." Everybody looked at Fox. He let out a groan, "Alright, fine; I'll help out. But if we get caught, I'm blaming you, Eagle!"
"Hurray!" The soldier cheered, "Now how are we going to pull it off?"
It took two hours of planning, but finally, the three men and one teen were ready.
The next morning, everyone in K-unit besides Wolf was up and ready to put their plan into action. Since it had been Eagle's idea, he was the one who had to do the distraction part. And since Cub was the teenage super ninja spy, he was the one doing the most dangerous part. Well, he was doing it partially because he was a teenage super ninja spy...
"So who's going to do that part?" Snake questioned. Eagle shrugged, "I'm already doing phase one, so it's up to you three." Fox, Snake, and Cub all looked at each other.
"NOSE GOES!" Fox shouted. He and Snake quickly put a finger to their noses before Cub could. The three men laughed and Cub groaned, "No fair!" *
End of flashback
The chefs were already hard at work. Breakfast was almost ready to be put out, and the water boiling for Wolf's coffee would be used the second the man walked in.
That would've been the plan, except they didn't expect a certain crazy soldier to barge into the kitchens.
Eagle danced around and quickly grabbed a metal pan and a wooden spoon. He banged the two together and was singing something that sounded like the song from Tarzan "Trashing the Camp." *
So while Eagle was making a total idiot of himself, Cub, the teenage super ninja spy, crept in unnoticed through the window. He quickly located the coffee mixture in a cabinet, and quickly began tossing each container out the window; where Fox and Snake caught them.
And just for good measure, Cub poured the boiling water into the sink.
The teen nodded to Eagle and disappeared out the window. Eagle finally bowed, put down the pot and spoon, and ran out the room yelling, "It was nice seeing you all!"
The chefs turned to each other wearing the universally known facial expression for what-the-hell-just-happened?
Outside, Fox, Snake, and Cub were shoving the containers of coffee mix into the hole they had dug just beneath the window. They would give the stuff back that night. After all, it would be cruel and unusual punishment to make the chefs go through Wolf's anger for more than one morning.
Once they were done burying the coffee mix, they all walked back in the direction of their hut. It was still a little early, and only some units were starting to get up.
Eagle was prattling on and on about his show in the kitchen when Fox saw the door to K-unit's hut open.
"Crap, Wolf is awake!" Fox hissed, "He'll want to know why we're up early!" Snake and Cub looked like they were ready to come clean and go get the coffee mix. Fox knew that they were going to die from their leader's fury.
But Eagle wasn't giving up that easily.
As scatter-brained as the soldier could be, he could sure think fast when he wanted to.
Eagle noticed that Wolf was yawning as he exited the hut, so his eyes were closed. He had a split second to act. Without giving any warning, Eagle hooked his foot around Cub's ankle and shoved the spy as hard as he could.
Cub gave a surprised yelp before his face became acquainted with the mud of Brecon Beacons. Fox and Snake cast their friend a confused look.
"Cub! What are you doing on the ground?" Eagle shouted cheerfully. Fox saw Wolf look in their direction with a confused look. The leader walked over to them as Cub spat mud out of his mouth.
Eagle dragged the spy to his feet while saying, "I know you're training with us, but getting up this early in the morning? Wouldn't you say that's dedication, Fox?"
"Uh, yeah sure." Fox said distractedly. Wolf came over to them, "What's going on?" He growled. Eagle spoke before anyone else could, "I had to pee really bad, and then as I was coming back from the bathroom, I saw Cub totally face plant right here! Fox, Snake, did you guys see it? It was freaking hilarious!"
Fox and Snake nodded vigorously. They couldn't stop thanking God giving their unit Eagle.
Wolf grunted and walked towards the kitchens.
Cub shook his head like a dog; sending mud everywhere, "Eagle, I'm plain torn between wanting to give you a punch or a hug." Eagle held his arms out expectantly. The teen let out a growl and said, "I'm going to take a shower. Hopefully, I have a clean outfit in the hut." With that said, he stomped away.
Fox and Snake let out their pent up breath, "Eagle, I thought we were going to die. Good thinking there." Eagle rubbed his hands together and grinned wickedly, "The real show has yet to start…"
"Coffee." Wolf growled as he entered the kitchen.
The head chef leapt for the boiling water…only to find that the kettle was empty. He cast a nervous glance at the leader as he filled it up again, "It'll be just a few minutes." What happened to the other water?
Trying to make it look like he was doing something, the chef opened up the cabinet to get out the coffee mix…only to find that it was completely bare.
"Where's the coffee mix?" He demanded. The other chefs froze and bounded over. It was true; the cabinet was empty.
They all turned to the soldier who had folded his bulging arms across his very muscular chest. "God have mercy." They all begged.
There is going to be a second chapter, for those wondering. I try to make these one-shots, but I might occasionally need two chapters to cover it. I've gotten some messages saying that people are putting my other stories on their alert list, but I won't be continuing those...okay, i've been thinking about adding another chappie to the Truth or Dare including H-unit since so many people seem to like that idea. But unless I tell you that I'm continuing, assume that the stories are finished. Thank you for reading!
First astrict thingie: I don't know if they have this in England, but here in America, if a group of people really don't want to do something, somebody shouts, "NOSE GOES!" And the last person to touch a finger to their nose has to do the job.
Second astrict thingie: The song "Trashing the Camp" Is from a movie called Tarzan. I do not own that song or the movie. I figured Eagle would be the best one to dance around, am I right?