A/N-I'm assuming that everybody out in M*A*S*H land remembers the 'Blue Christmas' episode where Father Mulcahy was writing to his sisters about feeling useless and during the show; a patient that the Father had to hit to get under control blasted him and made him feel rotton. Hawkeye tried his best to comfort him but...anyway, the last before Hawkeye went back in was Francis saying: 'I'll got sob myself to sleep' . What did Hawkeye do when he went back in? It may have been in the orginal showing but I don't see it in any TV land reruns or Hallmark so I set my mind to work and came up with this.
I don't own these characters, They belong to another...sigh.
Hawkeye opened the door to go back in and he looked at the sad row of hospital patients on either side of the room. He shook off his coat and took off his hat then went directly over to a patient, a particular patient.
The one that the good Father had a run in with.
Hawkeye made a beeline for him. He sat down, the patient looked at him with wonder and said:
Hawkeye cleared his throat and said:
"I was just checking on you, to see how you were progressing" "Everything seems to be fine" "Oh, good, good"
Hawkeye looked down at his leg and foot and said:
"Well, I figured that you were doing fine..." "Why? Because youi were the doctor?"
Hawkeye smiles then says in one quick breath:
"No, because if you can go around blasting your spew of hurting nonsense at one of the best men in this camp! Then your body quickly healed fella! Everybody knows there is nothing wrong with your mouth!"
The man sits up in defense of himself and says:
"Well, he hit me! A priest isn't supposed to do that!"
Hawkeye stands up and says:
"Well, you weren't making things easy for him or our head nurse and from what I saw, I would have laid you out myself and I know a few other doctors and nurses who would have! You were a jerk! You were being nothing but a horses's ASS!
And then he comes in here practically crying because of that, you decided that wasn't enough! You just had to put a few more jabs into his pure heart.!"
The nurses that are in there stand with their mouths open and the patients all saying in their minds-'Yes! Put him in his place doc!'
Hawkeye gets up and walks around then says:
"I better get out of here before I forget I'm a doctor...Kellye, when Santa comes to give presents out. None for him...that's my presciption!"
Hawkeye gets on his coat and hat to leave then Margaret comes in and she has her eyes ablazing and she says:
"Where is he? That miserable no good..."
"Uh oh, now you done it"
He points to the patients bed and the man tries to hide behind a bed sheet.