Lynx: Thank you Practically Venomous for betaing the first chapter!

Chapter One: Black Sheep in a Happy Flock

Nothing is as it seems. I learned this when I was a young college student, working hard to get my degree in fashion design when I was kidnapped by a man named Mello. I was tied to a chair with no ability to move and no way to plead for my life. Several times I was assaulted and nearly raped. Mello wasn't an idiot; when he found out about the attacks…he got scary. When I say scary, I mean I had blood all over me and I watched them die from a gun in his hand, smoke coming from the nozzle. I was so scared to respond to my father when he asked me for the time. I knew that once I answered him, my voice would be lost forever.

Indeed it was. Until my twenty-first ceremony, I was in a wheelchair and unresponsive due to the nightmares that plagued me every time I closed my eyes. I was always screaming, crying, begging, until my father or my mother went into my room to calm me down. Sometimes, if Light was around, he'd do the same thing. He would hold me tighter, as if he were guilty of some crime. When the nightmares went away with help from medication, I was a doll. I didn't respond, I didn't act, I didn't talk. I was pretty. I was beautiful. I was broken and shattered beyond repair.

After I got better, I dropped out of college and chose a new path without my mother's knowledge. Why did I do something like this? Because something was wrong. I knew it in my heart and I could feel it tugging at my subconscious. Mastuda was the reason for this. He and Aizawa had an excuse for my brother's death. I knew it when I was in a post-traumatic state and when I was awoken from it. It just didn't seem right. Nothing that they said matched anything that I knew my brother was.

Kira could kill with a name and a face. The second Kira could kill with just a face. This much I found out just by watching the news and paying attention to Light when he was on the case. It was confidential, but eavesdropping had been my sport. Light wouldn't have been so careless to have his name released, but he was in articles. His picture was everywhere in the yearbooks. He wasn't safe…and he was playing a dangerous game with a criminal.

But even if I rationalize it like that, it still didn't make any sense. Light was killed by a heart attack, but something just told me that the story wasn't right. Something wasn't right. So, what do I do to find out?

Simple. I dropped out of college to go into the police academy. With my new-found focus, I went up the ranks as quick as lightening. Some compared me to Light, but I knew I would never be able to surpass my older brother. I would always remain in his shadow. I joined up as a detective the minute it was offered to me and now I'm in the field.

It raised questions. Mastuda was worried that I would suddenly go back into PTSD. Aizawa was afraid of what my father and brother would say if they knew what I was doing. Mogi didn't care, and neither did Ide. I didn't bother to answer them. My skills were enough to satisfy them for the time being, but it only raised more questions to me. I knew Mastuda wasn't just worried about my PTSD, he was worried about what I would find out in the Kira case that had been closed for a good fifteen years. Of course, no one would take him seriously, but I knew that the question remained in everyone's mind.

I worked my ass off to say the least, to get up to where I am. Now, I'm standing in the meeting room, silence thick as a wool blanket. The screen behind Chief Aizawa is black, but with everyone's breath held, I knew they were waiting for something to turn on.

A white screen appeared and a gothic letter L appeared. I remember this letter. It taunted Kira and won after few years of battle. It was the number one detective in the world. L, himself. However, his face was hidden behind the white screen and the voice was different, electronic.

"Good evening," The voice said. "I see that we have a new detective joining us."

"Yes," Yatsomo answered. "This is Yagami Sayu."

L went silent. Everyone did. Yagami was like a curse word. No one reprimanded the use, but it was obvious that no one took the name lightly. "I hear that you are good as your brother was, Ms. Yagami."

Why did that sound so wrong? I didn't understand, but I knew L must feel guilty about something. This whole task force felt guilty about something. What though? What could it possibly be? "I'm not a genius like Light was, but I do my best, L."

"Good." The voice sounded amused, but how am I to know? It's all jumbled in the electronic feed. "We can use you all for this new case that I have been following for the past three years."

"New case?"

"I believe that you all are familiar with this term, Heart attack on a platter.' The saying usually is implied to mean unhealthily food that will give heart attacks. Well…we've been finding hearts of victims on plates that are always on the front-step of the victim's family's households. The first case of this started in Germany, then it moved all the way down to Asia. Now it's in Japan. I'm sure you have been investigating this before I even came along, is this true?"

"Half of us have been," Aizawa explained. Half meaning that I wasn't apart of it. Everyone else? Most likely they had been looking at pictures, asking questions; trying to keep me off of the playing field. It was like they were worried that this would trigger an reaction that would send me back into PTSD. It was a risk I took every single day, but whoever appreciates that? No one. It's just another scare.

"I see," the voice answered. I wonder if he was displeased with the fact that not the whole team had been working on this case. "Ms. Yagami, are you on this case currently?"

"No, I am not." I answered.

"And why is that?"

"Fear; I suppose."

"Are you scared?"


"Then, what do you mean by fear?"

L was sure nosy. I paused. I didn't want to get the task force in trouble. I also didn't want to give L the wrong impression. I shook my head. "I can't say."

"You recovered from a kidnapping that involved dealing in a notebook. A notebook that can kill." This was news to me. I didn't even know that Dad had been dealing a Death Note. For all I knew, it was a notebook that anyone could just get at a convince store. Something began to tell me that what L just said wasn't on accident. This was a clue; a simple, valuable clue, and everyone in the room knew it from the looks on their faces. "You have PSTD, don't you Ms. Yagami?"

"Yes, I do." There was no need for me to lie. He probably already knew how many gory, angst-ridden, and heartbreaking cases I had to solve. He also most likely knew that I was here for a reason, not because of my interests. This wasn't a job I'd do for pleasure.

The voice fell silent. Aizawa coughed, "We've been keeping her away from cases that involve anything that might send a trigger that tells her to break down. If she breaks down again, we don't know if she'll even recover this time around."

"Caution is necessary, but too much of it will leave a person with no self-value and they will not understand what they can do. A parent that always says no to a child will make that child believe that they can't do anything at all because the answer is always no," L responded. "I've seen her records and I know how many cases she's solved. Why isn't she on this one, exactly?"

No one answered. No one wanted to admit that anything having to do with hearts was immediately considered too dangerous for me. Anything that had high amounts of gore was also considered too much. But certain people let me through when the task force wasn't around so I could take a better, thorough look through the victim's area. At least I found things a lot quicker than they did and usually helped with the suspect listings. Sadly, computer skills were beyond my capability. I was horrible with hacking and I screw up royally when I have to do something on a computer. Basic searches and surfing I can do. Anything beyond that was gibberish to me.

Mastuda coughed, "We didn't want her to break."

"I see. Ms. Yagami, do you think you'd be able to handle this case if it were assigned to you? At least you would be able to handle it as long as you had help? A partner?" L asked.

"Yes." I answered. "I'll do my best to solve the case using any means you think is right, L."

"Very well," L answered. "I will help you with this case. Send me all the evidence that you have so I can make sure that it's not a copycat. Also, I would like reports on the victims' deaths and positions of how they died. Photographs would be a great help. Well then." The screen went black.