Disclaimer: don't own, never will.

a/n: Big thanks to my lovely beta SweetlyDesolated aka Deso. She has awesome stories, so check them out. This is a far cry from my usual but I hope you all like it. It is full of slash, non-con, Dumbles bashing, Weasley bashing, and other goodness. I hate them all except the Twins. Enjoy and leave a review at the end!

Chapter One

The Minister of Magic was a simple man. He relished the simple things in life: a cool breeze on a summer day, a glass of cognac by his fire place with his feet propped up while listening to the classical masters. Yes, all in all, he was a simple man who loved the simple things in life. His one guilty pleasure was making someone's life hell. To be more specific, making Harry Potter's life hell. And he was so good at it, too.

To Fudge's sadistic glee, he realized that the Boy-Who-Lived was turning sixteen in less than two weeks, and in accordance to the new marriage laws, he had to marry by then, or as an orphan, the ministry would choose him a suitable mate. The new laws stated that all purebloods and half-bloods were to marry and bear children for the purpose of repopulating the Wizarding World.

He went over the list of purebloods that have shown interest in the Potter boy and went over them in his mind. Lucius Malfoy, no. He had practically adopted the brat. Severus Snape, nuh-uh. Too close to Malfoy. Hmm…Draco Malfoy, no. same reason as his father. Sirius Black, wouldn't make him miserable at all.

The last name on the list made him grin maniacally. Perfect. he thought. Just the thing.