C h a p t e r T w o:

Harriet Angela Weasley:

The First Prank the Marauders ever pulled.


It might come to a surprise to you, that I dislike Sirius Black. Hell, you are probably floundering about your seat in dread at the fact that I do not fancy such a charming young lad, such a courageous and humorous member of the marauders…

Bullshit. Absolute bullocks, if you ask me.


"Wow, it's so pretty~" I breathed, glancing up at the ceiling of the great hall, fit to resemble a starry night sky.

I, along with the rest of the first timers at Hogwarts, was nervously waiting being sorted.

I hadn't made any friends yet, and I sure as heck didn't know anybody, so I was definitely more nervous than the rest of my peers. Mummy had assured me that I'd be sorted into Gryffindor, however. Whereas Arty had warned me to avoid the Slytherins, which I quite intended to do. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Yes?" I questioned meekly, turning to see a rather dashing boy of my age.

"Sirius, Sirius Black" he stated suavely, smiling earnestly at me.

"H-Harriet—" I began stiffly only to be interrupted.

"Weasley, right?" questioned a boy with big glasses and short yet shaggy brown hair.

"How'd you know?" I questioned with wide eyes, wondering if some wizards could read minds.

"Your hair" they chirped simultaneously before smiling at one another.

I blushed a shade of red that surely matched my hair color as I adjusted my glasses.

"O-Oh" I replied simply.

"You really shouldn't mind people like them" stated another voice as I turned to see an intelligent looking blonde boy.

"Oi! How rude!" Sirius scowled, shaking a fist at the blonde.

"Aren't you the rude ones?" questioned the blonde boy indignantly before turning to face me.

"Remus Lupin, at your service" he stated cheerfully holding out his hand to me.

"Harriet Weasley" I repeated giving his hand a quick shake.

"I'm James Potter!" shouted the bespectacled boy, invading my personal space.

"Sod off, you're making the lady nervous" Sirius smirked, pushing James off his seat that was conveniently next to mine.

He bumped into a rather chubby boy who squeaked in surprise.

"Look what you've done~ now I've injured poor-uh, what's your name?" James shouted, pausing to look at the fallen boy.

"P-P-Peter Pettigrew" he sniffed.

"These introductions are rather boring; James, Peter, Harry, Remus, Sirius" Sirius repeated, pointing to each of us individually.

"My name is not Harry!" I cried indignantly.

"That's right, it's Harriet"James corrected, and the way he pronounced it made it sound so hideous that I grimaced.

"What bloody crazy names they have 'round here" Sirius stated.

"Are you serious?" James began, pausing to laugh at his retarded little pun.

"Yes I am, actually" Sirius stated smugly.

"No, I mean I was just thinking the same thing. Some of these names would be a real laugh-"at this, James and Sirius both got quiet, identical smirks etched upon their faces.

I scoffed at them before looking away.

"I don't think I much care for whatever you two have in mind…" Remus stated, shaking his head.

"I bet it'll be a right laugh!" Peter stated as the two mischievous boys I'd recently met smirked at him.

"The two of you are welcome to help, who knows this might be the start of a very beautiful friendship" James stated, the smirk never leaving his face.

"Now if only we could come up with a-" Sirius began, his head resting in his hands, he paused to smile at me.

"Say, Harry. Do the carpets match the drapes?" he inquired.

"W-What?" I cried out, knocking over my goblet in shock.

"You know? Are you uh, what's the word, Sirius?" James began turning to look at Sirius.

"Firecrotch, mate" Sirius smirked. Remus looked utterly appalled as Peter blushed.

My face turned several shades of scarlet before I stood, rushing off to an empty seat at the other end of the table.


I stood, eagerly awaiting my name to be called so that I could be sorted, all of us first years had been called up to the front of the room. And we were listed in ABC order, I kept focused on person reading off the names, eagerly trying to shake my early encounter with those gits. How much audacity does one have to have to ask such a thing, I mean, really?

"Valt, Margo" I listened as the girl in front of me stepped up to the stool and sat down curtly, the Sorting Hat sitting there for a minute before belting out Hufflepuff.

I paled at the fact that it was now my turn, I silently waited for the announcer to call, "Weasley, Harriet!" but was met with a much different alias.

"Firecrotch, Harry! Wait, good heavens, no, that's certainly not right!" panicked the announcer as I gasped. The Great Hall quickly broke out into bouts of laughter, the nastiest laughter coming from the green table. I looked 'round the Great Hall in absolute horror before my gaze fell on a quartet of boys looking much too innocent to not be classified as suspicious.

"YOU!" I cried and it seemed that my meek young voice echoed through the great halls, my wand pointed directly at a certain young Sirius Black.

"Sorry dear" he mouthed with a shrug as the announcer frowned at me.

"Now dear let's not get hostile, it was a simple mix up. Why not tell me your actual name?" he inquired kindly, placing a hand on my back and guiding me to the stool.

"Weasley, Harriet" I said in a small voice as the Sorting Hat was placed upon my head.

That pathetic piece of apparel didn't even talk to me so much as he himself laughed,

"AHAHAHAHA, GRYFFINDOR!"


"You can't still be sore about something that happened way back in first year, pet" Sirius spat through the pain he felt from being kicked in the shin.

"I can and I will" I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well at least you're talking to me, that's a start" Sirius smiled, swinging an arm over my shoulders.

In all honesty, until now I hadn't talked to any of the Marauders, as they so quaintly called themselves now; and funnily enough, after that fateful day none of them had bothered to talk to me, save for when they sent poor Remus to apologize 'round the end of first year.

Shrugging his arm off, I bent to pick up my belongings.

"It wasn't even that good of a prank, you know. It was rather childish…" I snarled, placing my trunk back on my cart.

"The fact remains that however childish it may have been, it still lives on~" Sirius stated proudly.

"Unfortunately" I stated curtly before continuing on my way to the train.

"Harry, why not sit with us? For old times sake?" Sirius invited pleasantly.

"What old times? We managed pleasant conversation once" I reminded, eager to clear him of his delusions that we had ever been friends.

"Don't deny your family" Sirius teased as I gaped at him.

He seriously had the audacity to pull the family card?

"Mum was burned off the Black Family tree" I retorted smartly.

"What a coincidence, yeah? So was I" Sirius smirked.

"My, what trendsetters you are" I complimented sarcastically, flipping a few ginger locks out of my eyes.

"I'm serious, Harry. Sit with us, will even kick Peter out if it's to your liking~" Sirius bargained.

"I know you're Sirius, but I on the other hand am not Harry! FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!" I exclaimed, my tone laced with the aggravation I felt.

"Hardy Har Har, you are so clever, Harriet" Sirius replied mockingly.

"Try again, love" I stated with a roll of my eyes.

"The fuck? You don't even go by bloody HARRIET anymore?" Sirius cried, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I hate how you act like you know me so well, Sirius. And no, it's Etta. Nothing else" I stated in defeat.

The boy really needs to sod off before I go mad and do something illegal.

"Alright Etta," Sirius stated simply as we loaded up our belongings; then we stepped aboard the Hogwarts express.

Once inside, Sirius eagerly rushed to the compartment closest to us.

"Oi Prongs! Guess who I bumped into?" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully sliding open the door.

"Let me guess, some poor bird you've happened to snog the hell out of, and then proceeded not to write?" James called as I grinned.

"Don't be daft, James. He's too happy for that, maybe it's a new snog?" Remus argued cleverly.

"Wrong again, lads. I happened to have run into—" Sirius began, but I was quick to interrupt.

"Hullo boys" I stated before Sirius could announce me was Firecrotch or something worse.