Killing Yourself To Live

A HariPo drabble

by mew-tsubaki

Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not to me. Done for a quote prompt. This pairing is a Mew and Mor's Weird Pairing, which you may find in the M&MWP forum (see my profile for details). Check out and join the forum FUN! Read, review, and enjoy!

- ^-^3

"Guys are accessories, until one proves he's a necessity." —Unknown

His breath played across the hairs on her arms, and she tensed. She only calmed down once she realized that he was still asleep. Yes, only then could she breathe easily.

Daphne Greengrass shoved the blonde hair from her face and crossed her arms on her pillow. Her life had only ever been a mess of affairs. First, there'd been Theodore Nott. He was…so-so. Not really the kind of boy meant for Daphne, too apathetic. Then there'd been Blaise Zabini. At least Theo had happened during school. Blaise had come after Hogwarts, after the war, and after he got married to that ugly woman, Pansy Parkinson. Daphne had never bothered to go for Draco; he'd been her little sister, Astoria's, from day one.

Honestly, she hated that she did this. What kind of self-respecting woman threw herself at men as if she were worthless?

…no, that wasn't right. She didn't throw herself at them. She toyed with them. Men weren't anything but fashion statements to her, things to make her look good. Daphne used to be a better person. She never would've hurt people as she did now. She wondered what had changed…

The witch picked her head up and let her eyes rove over the chest and arms of the man in bed with her. She blushed as he turned to her and draped an arm over her in his sleep. He really was too much. Theo and Blaise were bad, but he was too much.

Neville Longbottom was too good to her, and he shouldn't be. Not when his hand had that ring, not when this bed was the one he shared with his wife, not when this house was the one in which he'd someday make a family.

A nagging voice told Daphne that she could make a family with him, but she shrugged it off. She knew in her heart that helping him be unfaithful was wrong.

She didn't know what time it was, but she eventually woke him up. She lifted his arm off her and left the bed, grabbing her robes and dressing. She heard him wake up as she pulled on her stockings.

"Good morning," he said with a yawn. "Wait… Daph, where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here," Daphne stated, pulling back her hair and wiping at what the salesman had told her was Tear-Resistant mascara. Well, now she knew firsthand not to trust those extraneous vendors in Diagon Alley.

"You're crying." Neville got up and pulled on some slacks. He walked around to the other side and knelt down in front of her. He peered up into her face. "Daphne, you're crying. What's wrong?"

"What do you think is wrong?" she asked hysterically, looking at their setting.

He frowned, his cheeks taking on a healthy flush. "What? That's what's getting to you? Two years of this and it's only now getting to you?"

Daphne hung her head and closed her eyes. "It's wrong, Neville, so wrong. You shouldn't be doing this. You have Hannah."

"But I want you. I know I made this decision—"

"—it's a bad decision."

"Hey." He glared and caught her blue eyes with his brown ones. "Would you mind if I make my bad decisions for myself? I know I have Hannah, but it was a marriage of convenience for her. I…love her," he continued, dropping his gaze to the bed. "But…I l—"

"Don't." Daphne placed her fingers on his lips. "Don't you dare say that, Neville. If you want me gone, then that's what you say."

He smirked. "Then what happens if I say, 'I hate you'?" he asked cheekily.

The blonde witch sighed and leaned her head against his. "You make this too hard, Neville. You never should have been the bad one."

"And you never should have been the saint."

She squinted at him. "You really are brave, Gryffindor, taking such a risk."

"You really are cunning, Slytherin," he said as he leaned up to screw with her head by kissing her in that oh-Merlin way, "whisking the married man away."

Yes, it hurt to fall for his traps again. But, in his arms, Daphne felt as though it were the only way to live. Without him, she wouldn't be so emotionally unstable, so…human.

Her robes fell to the hardwood floor again, and Daphne held Neville to her. She held him tightly and never let go. Her life had only ever been a mess of affairs. But now, she needed this relationship. She needed him.

- ^-^3

Aw, so sad. :( But I still liked it. :) I loved the Neville in this, the one that—as Daphne pointed out—is truly a brave Gryffindor. Merlin, Neville's yummy. ;)

Thanks for reading, and please review!

-mew-tsubaki ;3

Thanks as always to Morghen for beta'ing! X)

2017 note: Hrmm. 7 yrs later, I find I don't like this as much as I used to, but I think that's because I wrote Neville a hell of a lot more after this, and I figured him out better, and I disagree with my 2010 self that Neville would initiate such an arrangement or be involved in it, even though my ideas of him and Hannah not working out continue to this day. But I feel for Daphne. Sometimes I think I write mean things for her… :'s