You want to know the truth? The absolute truth? Well, for starters, I'm the "witch" who everyone claims tried to eat little Hansel and Gretel. Well, you know what? That's just a hunk of flibbernuggen! Here's the real story of what happened that day!

I was at the market, just like any other old woman would do, and on my way home I heard something crunching and munching. I looked at my house, and there they were! Two adorable little children nibbling on my delicious home. Well being the kind old woman I am, the children looked absolutely ravenous, I invited them inside for a good meal.

Hansel helped himself to all the food I offered him and he grew bigger then the giant peach in that movie. Gretel, the two-faced brat, told her brother that I'm going to eat him! I know! Crazy, right? Well anyway, Hansel ignored her "warnings" and kept on eating. I always liked Hansel better. Gretel got mad and pushed her brother! Poor little Hansel rolled into the oven! It's just not fair! Gretel started to run to help her brother, and I didn't notice her and I darted to help Hansel too. She got to the oven first and I took a face plant onto my chocolate floor. They ran away and that bratty Gretel told everyone that I pushed Hansel into the oven and tried to eat them! So, here I am, sittin' in prison where it's not fun…not fun at all.

Stupid Gretel!