A/N: This is a very short Leonard/Sheldon drabble. Penny does appear but this is not a bashing her fic or anything like that.

Warnings: Slash, implied sex (well, I tell you they're having it but don't describe it so …yeah)

Beta: The amazingly awesome FirstLaugh-LastTears

"Leonard, Leonard, Leonard."

"Sheldon, seriously, you don't have to do that every time."

"Yes, actually I do."

"You're not knocking on a door Sheldon…"

"I know but I am entering so the concept still applies."

"Whatever. Just do it!"


Twin hisses of pleasure echoed through the room. The constant squeak, squeak, squeak of the mattress springs followed. The slapping of flesh against flesh and moans of pleasure joined them, combining into a bizarre symphony of sound. If it were given a title it would probably be something along the lines of Beethoven's Fifth Booty Call.

The room heated; the smell of sex heavy in the air. Soon there came twin groans of ecstasy, announcing their mutual release. After a few moments they lay tangled together in the bed. It wasn't something Sheldon usually participated in, he was not a cuddler, but he knew that Lenard was sometimes hurt by the physical distance he kept between them, so made an effort where he usually wouldn't bother.

Just then a loud female voice yelled, "Sheldon, Leonard, you home?"

Before they could move the door banged open. There stood Penny, shocked, far beyond words. She was so pale Sheldon thought she might pass out.

"Penny." He acknowledged. "Did you not see the tie on the doorknob?"

"Yeah, but this is your room – I thought it was a joke or an accident or…something."

"Well it wasn't. You've broken the social contract represented and-"

"Knock it off Sheldon. But he has a good point Penny, you really should've knocked."

"I can see that. So…who's the bottom?"

"I really don't see how that's important." Leonard said with blush.

"Bottom? Neither of us is on bottom every time, there's more than one position."

"Yes Sheldon I know, but I mean, which is the pitcher and which is the catcher?"

"…Penny this isn't baseball."

"Ugh! I know Sheldon. It's an analogy."

"You mean you know what an analogy is?"


"Can we please drop this?" Leonard asked pleadingly.

"NO!" They both yelled. Leonard sighed and rolled over, fully intending to ignore the rest of the conversation.

"Alright Sheldon," Penny said with deadly calm. "Since you aren't getting it, I'll be blunt. Do you fuck him, or does he fuck you?"

"Oh!" Sheldon said a note of almost wonder in his voice that was usually expressed when he gained new knowledge. "Pitcher and catcher; bottom and top. I get it now."

"So which is it?" Penny shouted frustration clear in her voice.

"I'm the top. Leonard is the catcher."

Penny's face relaxed, now that she had what she wanted and she let out a girlish giggle. "Aww, that's so cute. Leonard's an uke!"

"Uke?" Sheldon asked.

"It's a Japanese term for bottom."

"Oh yes. And seme is the word for top, correct?"

"Yeah that's right, how did you know?"

"Penny, I frequently attend Comic Con. I know what anime and yaoi are."

"Good point."

There was an awkward silence.

"Was there a purpose to your visit?"

"Ya know, I don't remember anymore. Oh well, if I remember I'll come back. Carry on boys!" She giggled as she left.

Leonard groaned. "Just great. She's a fangirl. Next thing you know she'll be wanting to take pictures or film us doing it."

"Oh Leonard, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I recently bought a camcorder to record my life so that others can study my genius later and I was thinking that to truly appreciate me they'll need to see all aspects of my life."

"What are you saying?"

"I've been filming us having sex for the past three months."


The End