Me and my best friend have twisted minds and we usually make funny stuff up, trust me, it makes US laugh! :)

Just imagine this . . .

Carlisle has figured out how to get Vampires pregnant, and Alice is giving birth to Jasper's and her child. Alice is screaming at Jasper:

"I will kill you!" While squeezing the hand she is holding. Jasper is thinking: 'This is worse then the Civil war and the vampire wars added together . . .' Bella is reading Wuthering Heights and saying:

"I had it worse; my stomach was ripped out completely. You're lucky!" Emmett is being random and singing: "I like chocolate!" over and over while Rosalie is saying:

"I don't want kids any more!" Rosalie then points towards Emmett, "especially ifhe is their father!" Emmett, who is now dressed in a ballerina tutu and prancing around humming Swan Lake, smiles like a mad man. Edward is shouting in a odd Russian accent, for some really messed up reason:

"The thoughts they burn!" Carlisle is shouting at Alice, who is screaming profanities: "PUSH!" And Alice retaliates with:

"I am fucking pushing!" Which causes Jasper to turn paler, which should be impossible since he's the undead.

AFTER ALICE HAS GIVEN BIRTH

Carlisle turns around to Esme with mini-Jasper in his arms asking her:

"What do you think?" Esme looks Carlisle up and down with a irritated expression, and replies with:

"We are not having any more kids! I'm NOT giving birth to anything . . . and Alice was in a great lot of pain." Esme pauses. "Poor pixie."

THE END!