I can't help but frown at the information that I have just received.
"Dying… but… how?"
"I don't know. I'm just filled with… sorrow." I hug her, smelling her flowery perfume.
"Well, do you think we should talk to Max about this?"
"No, for God's sake, no. But I think I'll talk to Tess. She's the one that made us… remember." I nod. Seems reasonably, even though I don't like her.
"Shall I leave?"
"No. I don't want to be alone right now."
I nod. "Okay. Okay."
I lay down with her in her own bed, holding her. She kept crying until she slept. After she slept, some tears couldn't be stopped from falling from my own eyes. It was all a big mess right now. Even though that this is what I've been dreaming of, thinking of, wanking of, I just felt unhappy.
The next day, I sat down to eat with Tess. She wasn't small-talking like she used to. I feel awkward, almost even embarrassed, and I don't know why.
"So…", I begin, but she cuts in before me.
"I know what you're going to talk to me about, Isabel." I look at her, tongue-tied.
"How… H-how do you…"
"I knew that you would ask me. It's about the baby, right?"
I quickly look over my shoulders, to see if people are eavesdropping. I nod, looking down.
"You don't have to worry. The baby has never even existed, it's just a dream, remember?" I nod. That made sense. She looked as something else is on her mind.
"You and Michael haven't had sex yet?" she burst out with.
She smiles. "Good, then there's nothing to worry about. You could have been pregnant on Antar, but you're a hybrid here on Earth, so as long as you and Michael don't have unprotected sex here on Earth you won't get pregnant." She says it as if it's that simple.
"No, Michael and I… he's with… I… we're like brother and sister. Why would I ever…" I use a tone filled with disbelief to underline that it would be silly to even think the thought.
"Whatever… Let me tell you a secret, Isabel." She leans in over the table, whispering in my ear: "No matter how much you try, you can't resist him. You're meant for each other." I freeze at her sentence. When I get back into my former pose, she's gone. I zip at my juice, but it really doesn't get much of my interest, and I throw it out in the trash-bin. I clear my tray, and walk up the eastern side of the school to get early to my class. I'm apparently so deep in thoughts that I run into a man. He's dressed in a black suit, but it's somehow different from the normal teachers'.
"Oh, sorry", I smile apologetically and help him gather his papers from a file map. On the label on the map in type-writing were Michaels' name. I smile to him again, this time more with a nervous smile. I notice his neck is covered in bruises. I walk away from him, afraid to even look over my shoulder. This is the man that was in Michaels' apartment the other day.
"Hey, Isabel!" I spin around as Alex approaches. Just what I need right now. To be reminded of my relationship. Or kind-of-relationship.
"Hi…" I kiss him on his mouth. Around the corner comes Michael.
"Hi, Michael", Alex smiles to him. He looks angry, almost dangerous with the glare he's sending me. He brushes right past me. I look down. Why didn't he say hi? Why's acting so cold? Even towards Alex? Alex can't help that he's with me. Well, until I end this.
"Alex, I need to talk to you." He frowns. I pull him into the janitors' closet. He steps closer to me, assumingly thinking that it was just a way to get him in here.
"What? What is it?"
"This… between us… it can't continue."
"Are you saying you're breaking up with me?"
"Yes." I frown. I don't mean to hurt him like this.
"I like you, believe me, I do. But… I'm not in love with you, you know."
He nods, looking down, brows furrowed. Relief rushed through me, but I still feel unhappy. I never meant to hurt him like this. I walk out of the closet and away from the whole goddamn situation.
"Michael!", Maria shrieks. I slam the door in her face. I don't need this right now. So what if I'm with Maria, if Vilandra is with Alex?
Wait, what… Vilandra? Where did that come from? I thought of Isabel, not… Vilandra. What ever. She's still with Alex. Am I really the only one who's… horny?
Surprisingly enough, Isabel came by later that day.
"Hey", she said, her voice shaky.
"Hey", poker-face on now. She looked so beautiful today. I opened my door so she could come in. She ducks her head as she passes me.
"So, are you still sleeping in Max's room?" That was kind of like an ice-breaker.
"Yeah, I'm only here in the day time, so I have to go in an hour or so."
She inhales sharply before she says: "I want to make something clear, okay? I'm not with Alex anymore… but that doesn't mean that we're… I don't want to have sex with you. It's wrong!", she postulated. I look down, thoughts becoming fuzzy. Not with Alex… then why…
"And can you please stop being mad at me?" She looked at me with her deer-eyes, blinking.
I close the gap between us, my hand caressing her cheek. Then I brush past her. Thoughts banging down in my head like lightning. If she didn't want to be with me, then why did she leave Alex? Why should it be so wrong to be with me? I'm not more of a monster than she is. If she thought I was mad before, she was wrong. I'm mad now, furious. Why leave him, and not be with me?
"Can I get you anything to drink?" I say as a distraction. Not to her, but to myself.
"N-no, thanks", she stammered. I avoided eye-contact with her. Time to play the masquerade.
I pluck out a Snapple from my refrigerator. I pop it open and plunge into my sofa right next to her. My exterior seeming indifferent, but inside I'm burning at her closeness.
She looks down.
I turn to her, and have to speak through my teeth: "What is it that you want?"
She closes her eyes.
I look at her, can't help myself. Her golden hair draped around her heart-shaped face. The bee-stung lips looking so inviting, Her graceful hands, clenching and unclenching. My eyes follow her neck down to her shirt opening, down to her breasts. Oh god, give me strength.
Twin tears drip from her chin, her face withering in pain.
I watch his back as he leans into the refrigerator. His strong, muscular back and arms. Did they have to be so protruding? His hair almost seemed golden with the Freon light behind it. The way he leaned in on the fridge, like an animal about to devour his prey. I whirred my head. What odd thoughts I have, I puzzle.
I walked around his living room, starring at a picture of him and me.
"Can I get you anything to drink?"
I paralyzed at the sound of his voice and almost stopped breathing. I quickly motioned for the couch. Would have been too damn awkward to explain why I looked at our picture. Not that it wasn't awkward enough…
"N-no, thanks", I stammer frightened. I look at him, feeling a knot in my stomach. Why hadn't he looked at me when he talked to me?
I hear him open a bottle and walk towards me, carelessly. I stole a couple of glances his way, but he didn't look at me. How can he act so cold and careless, when I feel like my heart is wrenching right this moment?
He plunged into the sofa, accidental stroking my thigh with his thigh. I nervously touch the area, remembering the warmth, comfort and shock it had given me in that brief moment.
I look down, trying to suppress the feeling of his closeness. I inhaled through my nose and smelled his familiar, distinctly smell. Something I never quite could out my finger on, except the pine smell from his deodorant.
He turns to me, his upper body just a little closer.
"What is it that you want?" I cringed inside. Even though he sits so close to me, he could have been on another continent. That's how his voice made me feel, because it was so cold.
I shut my eyes, clenching an unclenching my sweaty hands.
Wasn't he affected at all by this? Did he care so little for me? Didn't his blood boil too, every time we were around each other?
I bit my lip as a couple of tears simultaneously ran down my face, dripping off my chin. I felt the shameful defeat of crying even though I battled the tears.
I felt the weight shift in the couch. I didn't open my eyes. I could feel the warmth of his body radiating on me. I felt the his breath on my cheek and my lips. I heaved in my breath, because suddenly it became very hard to breathe. He didn't touch me, but I could feel him getting closer.
Like a soft breeze he kissed my cheek.
I felt the weight in the sofa disappearing.
"I'm off to Max's", he growled.
I heard the door slam shut, and I began to shake violently.