Title: Nightmare on Mim Street

Summary: Hiroki and Freddy on a guy's night. PURE CRACK, not intended for any serious contemplations.

Pairings: Shinji/Takako, Hiroki/Kayoko, Shuuya/Yukie and…Kiriyama/Mitsuko (go figure)

Rating: T

Genre: General

Hiroki had hoped that by the end of the evening, he and girlfriend Kayoko would be sitting in the front porch of her house, canoodling while waiting for the sunrise. It was a longtime dream of theirs.

It had come true, but not as romantic as he had hoped it to be. Yes, Kayoko was cuddling him—but that was more of like strangling him to death in fear as they watched the third horror movie of that night.

If it had gone according to his plan, after their date, they would buy ice cream and just talk about anything under the sun—or the moon; it was night after all—until the sun came up. What his once magnificent plan turned out to be double date when Shuuya and Yukie were on the same bistro Hiroki wanted to treat Kayoko and then it turned out to be a triple date when the two pairs found Shinji and Takako in the convenience store buying snacks (and condoms, Shinji added).

Now, because of the perfect interference of his friends with an added bonus of his OWN bestfriend Takako, they all wound up Shinji's house with plans of watching all the scary movies Takako rented until the sun would come up, or someone would be pissing in their pants, whichever came first.

There went his dreams of eating ice cream until he bloated, or talking anything under the moon. At least, if Hiroki tried to be really optimistic here, the canoodling part remained.

It would have been grand, after all any opportunity to go macho suave on your girl was always a good opportunity. Save the instance when all your macho suaving would go down the drain especially if a good friend of yours was whispering naughty talks to another good friend of yours; and the other good friend was actually enjoying it…quite very obviously.

Hearing porn would never be a good opportunity to do macho suave. No other form of protection could protect your girl's innocence besides bolting out of the house. Hiroki groaned inside, wishing instead that Kayoko wasn't a sucker for scary movies. She was clearly enjoying the scare (and the canoodling in Hiroki's strong muscular arms, but Hiroki didn't know that).

"Sorry for all the noises they were making…," whispered Hiroki.

"Hush, Hiroki, Freddy's coming! Besides, they won't go naked in here, would they?"

Shuuya piped in the conversation. "Knowing Mim, dear innocent Kayoko, I wouldn't bet on that."

Kayoko asked Hiroki, "…and Takako?"

As if that was a cue for anything, a shirt flung and landed straight on top of Shuuya's hair. It was ripped.

"Sugi go check what they were on now—"

"—why me? You can actually see straight from there Shuu, I'd have to crane my neck if I would do it—"

"—hush it, Freddy's hereeeeee—"

Yukie, who was seated farthest and had the best peripheral angle to go and have a check, was pissed about the whole hushing happening to her side (Hiroki and Kayoko hushing, and Shuuya trying to)…and at the slurping noises she was trying not to even acknowledge.

"You guys," she started on the three other occupants of the sofa, "are ruining my scared mood. Freddy's about to their brains and you are all chickening out and scared out of your wits to see if Shinji is butt naked or—"

"Oh my god, Shinji," moaned a voice from somewhere near.

Nobody dared to speak after that. Kayoko was now clinging into Hiroki's arms both trying to block off the real-time scare and the Freddy scare; Yukie was trying not to look; Shuuya and Hiroki was having a staring contest, contemplating what to do.

It had been the hardest for Hiroki, as he tried to remember the innocent Takako he knew when she was eight; eyes ready for the kill with an authoritative voice that could make someone fall on their knees. She indeed had grown up and they were all actually, but as Hiroki tried to scare away the mental images he could see if he ONLY would crane his neck on a certain angle, the sofa they were all sitting on rocked violently and the four of them then and there all made a beeline for the hills.

So much for Takako renting scary movies and pissing their pants until the sun would come up. As it appeared, Shinji's alert thinking of buying condoms won out everything else.

Hiroki made a mental note NEVER to make plans ahead anymore.

That night, Hiroki couldn't sleep. He supposed it was because he already prepared himself that he wouldn't; after all, he was supposed to welcome the sun with open arms (or closed, he should be cradling Kayoko in his arms). But he couldn't sleep at night.

Of course, it was not Freddy's fault, or Jason's or Sadako's—he was already a big boy and no, he wouldn't be scared off such things.

We all knew what really mentally scared him. He knew how Shinji and Takako (TAKAKO! Of all people!) could be when they're alone—he had heard some stuff—but it never occurred to him they could be that—well, that—even in the company of their friends.

Were they drunk? No, nobody bought or drank alcohol. Definitely not drugged. Hiroki sighed, and only resorted to the only plausible explanation—even if it was that hard to admit—that Shinji must have gone full blast naughty talking, Takako just had to jump him then and there.

And Hiroki knew, when provoked, Takako was no woman of self-control.

For the nth time that night, he tried to think about happy things to scare off any possible nightmares. He thought of Kayoko and her flowers and teas. He thought of the puffshroom in Plants vs Zombies. He thought of Togepi and Jigglypuff and…

"You're the only boy I haven't fucked in this room," whispered Mitsuko, her hands playing with her hair, fingers locking in the strands.

Wait what? Mitsuko has already fucked everyone? Even him? EVEN MIM?

"You know what they say, you save the best for last…"

Kazuo Kiriyama only looked at the angelic vixen, Mitsuko Souma with cold hard eyes. Still with a look of nonchalance, Kiriyama reached out to Mitsuko, ropes in his hands.

"Oooh, are we doing binding? I like that," said Mitsuko eagerly, and she held out her hands for Kazuo to tie.

"This would hurt."

Mitsuko only laughed. "I love pain. Blood turns me on. So much love for Mitsu, so much love…"

After Mitsuko was restrained, Hiroki looked at the scenario and felt like he couldn't move. Kazuo's eyes were on him, but they still looked cold, as if he looked past him. The scene proceeded with Kiriyama slowly taking off Mitsuko's uniform, bored and disinterested while Mitsuko shouted joys of so much love for her.

He raked his fingers on her bare chest and blood appeared, but Mitsuko was clearly enjoying it until ghost!Hiroki could no longer see where Kiriyama's hands went. The girl in front of Hiroki was biting her lips until blood they were smeared with blood and the two coldest people in the universe heated the entire dream universe when they kissed.

The scene changed into a meadow and Mitsuko was wearing a yellow sundress while Kazuo was chasing butterflies and grasshoppers for her. Hiroki looked around him and he saw a prairie full of sunflowers, and when he looked down the stream beside him, he realized he was one sunflower with yellow crowns in his head.

Hiroki woke up in instant, droplets of sweat falling from his forehead. It was a sunny day. He tried to think about his dream and he would admit that he was scared of Mitsuko and Kiriyama on a prairie filled looking so happy and him being a sunflower than Mitsuko and Kiriyama doing a Freddy and Nancy stunt.

Why the hell did he even dream of Mitsuko and Kiriyama anyway? He could only curse Shinji and Takako on his head.

"Are you okay, Hiroki? You look pale," asked Kayoko, concern evident on her features.

Hiroki only shrugged mildly. He and his girlfriend were about to enter the 2-B classroom when Kiriyama and Mitsuko were there on the door, entering at about the same time.

It was only when Kiriyama looked at Mitsuko and stepped back for her to enter first with his hands posed in a gesture of cordiality, like when a butler was assisting his milady to step out of a carriage, did Hiroki run away from the scene to God knew wherever.

Puffshrooms! Togepi! Jigglypuff! HELP ME!

And Hiroki vowed to never watch scary movies with Takako and Shinji from then on.

The End.

A/N: Unbeta'ed. Pardon for all OOCness (this is CRACK, I repeat, CRACK), grammar, spelling etc. etc. you all know how this goes.

Highlights on Her Hair to be posted soon enough. I hope.

Dedicated to my newest Shinji/Takako friend, Dragon of the East. This is my part of the deal, and I TRIED SO HARD (AND GOT SO FAR). This is all ever that I can do. I AM SO SORRY.