Brennan lie back on her cot and pulled the light blanket up slightly. One arm crooked behind her head resting on the pillow, she looked up at the stars through the triangle shaped opening in the top of the tent. The swaying branches brought the smell of salty ocean and the sweet scent of night blooming jasmine. The sounds of the day were silent as the night sounds took over, the hooting of an owl, the rustle of nocturnal predators, a canvas tarp snapping as the breeze drifted among the dig. She and her fellow colleagues had put in another productive day and she for one was feeling quite successful in regards to their findings. During the day, while she was working, the hot sun pounding them mercilessly she was Dr. Temperance Brennan, world renowned Anthropologists and the head of the dig. She was the one the other scientists deferred to and she enjoyed it, the shared camaraderie, the scientific jargon passed between them, the joy of discovery. When it was all said and done and she was alone in her tent, the oppressive silence beat down on her and she found herself trapped with her memories and they always led to the same conclusion in her mind. She was a fool.
Staring at the stars made her feel close to him, because even though they were on the opposite side of the world, the inky black sky stretched itself over both of them and made itself a protective blanket for the two of them. She sighed and rolled over to grab her journal. No longer writing crime fiction novels, most of her writing these days consisted of short hand, notes and field discovery information. At night she wrote in her journal. She spoke to him through this silent communication, she told him the things she could never say in their email chats, the things she could only tell him when he wasn't there. Tonight was no exception. The only difference was tonight no matter how hard she tried she couldn't escape her loneliness. She missed him and needed him and would gladly turn her back on everything here for one single minute in his arms.
There are so many things I didn't say and even though it may be too late I want you to know I love you so. I travel to town quite frequently as you know for supplies and to get the mail for our group and every time I'm in the common area's I hear your voice or see your profile in every person that I meet. During the downtime here we have a small recreational tent set up, complete with a TV and DVD player, and yet no matter what movie it is, you play the leading role. You're on my mind and I can't leave you behind. When I close my eyes, you're all I see. In the dark of night you're in my dreams and throughout the day you're easy to find, you're always there when I close my eyes. Each time I close my eyes I hope that when I open them you will be there, I know that it isn't possible, but even that knowledge doesn't make it less desirable.
Once again she ended the letter with the nickname that he'd given her that very first time. Infuriating at first, it soon became so commonplace and so much a part of them that she refused to let anyone else call her that. Sighing she rolled back to place the journal under the cot and turned out the small propane light. Maybe tomorrow she'd send the letter to him. She closed her eyes and knew that tomorrow, like every today before it she wake up and the light would convince her that what happened during its twin time of night was meant to stay there.
Booth picked up the rifle and after making sure the firing mechanism was clean he stacked it along the rigid wall of the semi-permanent weapons tent at his compound. He heard the muted conversation of the soldiers on the other side of the wall in the mess tent and knew that he should be in there too, but he found that he relished his isolation. It gave him more time to think of her and where exactly they'd left things. He didn't tell her that he loved her, just told her to be careful in the jungle. She hadn't told him that she loved him, just told him not to be himself. A hero. He'd never thought of himself as a hero, he'd done what needed to be done at any given time because it needed to be done. In his eyes a man did his best all the time and that was it. Deciding he would grab something quick to eat and check his email he left the weapons hold and entered the mess tent just as it was starting to clear out. Grabbing a readymade sandwich and drink he began to make his way to the communications tent when he overheard a conversation between two other soldiers, apparently the satellite link was down again and all personal communication was stalled. Cursing under his breath, he turned around and headed back to his tent. Grabbing a small notebook and pencil as he took a bite of his sandwich he began to draft a letter so that when the link was back up he could type it and send it.
In my mind I know you're far away but here in my heart nothing has changed. I'm still holding you like I used to, whether it's out in the desert alone with a hundred other soldiers or in a crowded tent, wherever I go it's just me and you, together again. Bones, it never ends. When I close my eyes you're all I see in the dark of night you're in my dreams. Throughout the day you're easy to find, you're always there when I close my eyes. I'll make sure that I spend the rest of my life reminding you of what you mean to me when we get back, I won't hold back afraid to spook you, instead I'm going to be honest and tell you exactly how I feel and I'm not going to let you talk yourself out of your own feelings for fear of what you think I may feel or do once I know.
You're always there,
He re-read the letter and knew that it was exactly what he wanted to say to her and this time he would. Finishing up his sandwich and drink he crumbled the wrappings up and gathered them to throw away. He set the journal down on his cot and began to make his way to the outside trash bin. Pausing, he looked up at the ceiling of the tent and grabbed the sheet of paper with his letter on it out of the journal and like the hundreds of letters he'd written to her, he crumpled it up and added it to the trash in his hand, tossing it lightly into the bin. Running his fingers through his short hair, causing it to corkscrew he sighed in frustration as he watched the letter smolder and then burn in the bin. He went back to his tent, stowed the journal back in his foot locker and lay down on his cot, closing his eyes, her face was as always the first thing he saw when he closed his eyes. He wondered if he would ever be able to tell her that.
When I close my eyes
You're all I see
In the dark of night
You're in my dreams
Throughout the day
You're easy to find
You're always there
When I close my eyes
(Based on lyrics to When I Close My Eyes Kenny Chesney)